Does acceptance ever come?

[Windwalker]

interesting, i follow ann romney's experience because her diagnosing episode sounded much like mine. and she wrote a public thank you to her husband on fathers day for his support when she had been diagnosed with MS.

Oh and i'm a democrat so i do not support the Romney's in the white house

I am also a Democrat...a Chicago Democrat relocated to AZ.
Never voted Republican in my life... but think of what kind of attention MS would get if the President's wife had MS...she would probably make MS awareness a national issue.

For this reason maybe we all should vote for Mitt.

[mjan]

I am also a Democrat...a Chicago Democrat relocated to AZ.
Never voted Republican in my life... but think of what kind of attention MS would get if the President's wife had MS...she would probably make MS awareness a national issue.

For this reason maybe we all should vote for Mitt.

As understanding and wonderful as that sounds having a 1st lady with MS, do not underestimate the POWER of the lobbyists for the Pharmceutical companies that make BILLIONS off all the drugs we use.

Just sayin.. LOL

Jan

[happy23]

This topic has been on my mind

It amazes me still...every time I am wondering how others feel about something, I find the topic on the board. Wow!

I am not at acceptance, still really frustrated and angry, but that is just resistance.

My question to all who posted is who is on antidepressants to cope? Every now and then, probably four times in the past year I will get mad over everything spiraling out of control and cry it out and feel great afterwards. My DH is quick to holler "your depressed". He doesn't know how to fix it, duck tape doesn't work, lol.

I hate hearing that every time I feel frustrated or get mad that I can't control my world.

And by the way, I have discussed this with my doctor who said no, I am not depressed, just going through normal emotions. She thinks he is just unsure what to do because after 23 years of marriage, he has rarely seen me cry and can't handle it.

[0485c10]

I am also a Democrat...a Chicago Democrat relocated to AZ.
Never voted Republican in my life... but think of what kind of attention MS would get if the President's wife had MS...she would probably make MS awareness a national issue.

For this reason maybe we all should vote for Mitt.

its a wash Windwalker- the nations current first children had a grandfather who died with ms-so its in their bloodline & the current democratic president is very interested in not having to see his kids or grandkids die with MS. Mrs Obama's dad died with ms... the dems are less interested in cutting funding for people having to live with this stuff. so perhaps it wouldn't be such a good thing that we all vote for Mitt. maybe we would end up with that new plan to privatize medicare.
then whats next? privatizing social security?
don't want that to happen but i still appreciate what ann romney has done in the face of her misfortune... being a millionaire/billionaire's wife perhaps helped her handle her misfortune so positively? i'm just guessing? noting all the limitations i have because of financial insecurity & what i would be able to do, if only....

[Blessings2You]

Everything I was going to say, somebody already said!

After six years post-diagnosis, I can honestly say I've accepted it, just as I've accepted other things in my life that stink. It is what it is.

Once in a while I have a flare-up of wall kicking, fist shaking, boo-hooing and then resume regular programming.

[lectricman]

For me, I prayed for acceptance.
"God; grant me courage to accept the things I cannot change...The cougage to change the things I can...& the wisdom to know the difference.
I felt my situation was alot better that other people worse off than I. I felt ashamed that I was filled with self pity.
I felt gradification for what I have (a loving family)& what I'm still able to do (career). I know it's hard; & easy to say but, take care.
God Bless You.

[tommylee]

As understanding and wonderful as that sounds having a 1st lady with MS, do not underestimate the POWER of the lobbyists for the Pharmceutical companies that make BILLIONS off all the drugs we use.

Just sayin.. LOL

Jan

That is a sad and sick statement.... And exactly what I was thinking.

The problem may be; any wealthy, well connected person has no idea what a problem it is to have their healthcare tied to their employment.
The stress of the job is damaging our health but we cannot afford to stop working. It is a real comon problem for many middle-class people in the USA.

[Windwalker]

As understanding and wonderful as that sounds having a 1st lady with MS, do not underestimate the POWER of the lobbyists for the Pharmceutical companies that make BILLIONS off all the drugs we use.

Are they really making Billions of $ off of MS...highly doubtful.

Keep in mind what an exclusive club we belong to...400,000 Americans with MS...311,000,000 Americans.

That's just 1 tenth of 1 percent of the population (.001286). Barely a figure worthwhile to the big drug companies. Do the numbers for PPMS and it's like "who cares" numbers! Maybe this is why there is so little out there for us...just Maybe.

[Jules A]

Are they really making Billions of $ off of MS...highly doubtful.

Keep in mind what an exclusive club we belong to...400,000 Americans with MS...311,000,000 Americans.

That's just 1 tenth of 1 percent of the population (.001286). Barely a figure worthwhile to the big drug companies. Do the numbers for PPMS and it's like "who cares" numbers! Maybe this is why there is so little out there for us...just Maybe.

This is more along the lines of what I believe. Personally I'm not a huge fan of the numerous conspiracy theories about pharm companies.

Of course they are in business to make money, big money, and I don't have a problem with that especially considering all the programs that are available to help those in need. Trust me their families have horrific diseases like MS also and I can't imagine they are holding out the cure for anything.

The more I learn about socialized medicine the more I'm thinking that really is the way to go. Everyone would have a fair shot at the basics and for those that want different care and are willing to pay for it out of pocket that is always an option.

[Spydre]

First, on the pharma concerns. These pharma companies charge so much for their drugs because they sank so much money into testing, coming up with a model, getting them approved, and with the case of tysabri, coming up with a way to get it reapproved, I really don't think they make any profit until quite a bit after the drug hits the market. And let's be realistic here - 20 years ago, there was nothing. So the research that these firms do benefit us. Yes, I would prefer to see much more money being sunk into research finding a cure or a cause, but without the meds, I'm sure I would be worse than I am.

Now on to acceptance. Okay, my first MS symptom (I didn't know it at the time) was a seizure when I had been previously controlled for 10 years, and tingling in my face. After an MRI to rule out any problems causing the seizure, my doc showed me the MRI and said there are these white matter lesions.....it COULD be MS, or there are other causes that it could be. He wanted to keep an eye on me.

I hung on to that "other causes" like a life vest....I did online research and found there was some connection to stroke (I can't exactly remember if it was pre or post stroke) and I actually wanted it to be that rather than MS. I heard names like Terri Garr, Richard Pryor, Annette Funicello and thought, no, it wouldn't be that. So I did a little online research for about a week, kept track of the tingling for a couple of weeks, and then put it all out of my head.

Then when I was still having this chronic pain issue (from fibromyalgia), with ironic timing, I wondered if it could be from MS, so I called my doctor's office, and they said no, that kind of pain wouldn't be from MS....but it was back in my mind. And I was working with a lawyer that used a scooter because she had MS. So again, it was back in my mind, but I was convinced that it wasn't me. A great big boatload of denial.

A month after I made that call to the doctor, and a week before my temporary assignment to that dual law office ended (though I had the whole week off, luckily), I went from not having enough strength in my ring finger of my left to register at times that a keyboard button was being depressed, having tingling in the arm and weakness in both hands, to superficial numbness all over the left hand. I went in to clean my stuff out because my assignment had ended after my MRI but before my lp and talked to the attorney with MS. And I walked away terrified.

After confirmation with the lp I was immediately put on Avonex. There wasn't really time for acceptance, just jumping into a routine that included dealing with side effects that seemed to go on forever. I had been driving two weeks after not driving for 6 months after my last seizure. Two days after starting the Avonex, I went to the grocery store, and was stopping by Office Depot "real quick" to pick up a flash drive. I was out of the car maybe two minutes when I had another seizure. Right in the middle of Office Depot. I broke my tailbone on the display as I fell. It was determined that both the MS and Avonex lowered my seizure threshold too much. I was put on a second seizure medication, and it was determined I would never drive again. So I was angry - this disease stole my independence.

Yeah, I signed up for e-mail groups, but I didn't really read them. I took my medicine and buried my head in the sand. I had more seizures with my next flare (only six months later). More anger. I finally got in with an MS specialist, and she finally changed me to Copaxone, which was a life saver. I had no more side effects, and no more seizures.

So I kept my head buried in the sand. The copaxone kept me flare free for over a year, until I had one this January.....and another in May. More anger, but I was determined at least to learn more about it.

No, I haven't accepted it yet, but I'm learning more about the DD and some of it scares me. But I'm grateful that I'm getting ready to start on a medication that's twice as effective as the medication I've been on.

One thing that might seem like acceptance - I'm getting ready to ask my doctor about a handicap placard for my bad days - I've at least accepted that there are times when I shouldn't have to walk across an entire parking lot, but part of me says I shouldn't be going out at all under those circumstances, and mostly I don't, except for the doctor's office. After all, I don't drive so I don't HAVE to leave the house for the groceries, my hubby does that.

This has been very long and rambling.....I'm back to grief over my diagnosis, and not yet nearly ready to have acceptance. But I think that's because for three years, I knew about it, but didn't DO anything about it. I still smoke, my diet is borderline crap, and about the most exercise I can do is some stretching. But with 10 months of physical therapy in 2 years, I have made some improvements.

I recently started reading "multiple sclerosis for dummies", a book that I bought about the same time I applied for disability. I'm just now getting around to reading it.