Does acceptance ever come?

[sunshine008]

you know this is an interesting thread. i sat reading thru responses on it.

I just wanted to say im not walking around like totally happy all the time at all. trust me lol.

Yet one thing that sticks out for me is i could be dead instead, i could have major type of cancer instead and fight for my life literally, or i could be dead like my friend who went on vacation only 8 mos ago and died suddenly of a heart attack, only in her 40's. she had alot of dreams and hopes a brand new husband to boot, yet given the choice i bet she would of said hey i'll take ms and adapt my life and go through the ups and downs as opposed to losing it entirely.

i just know that ms will take things from us like many have said and yea we gotta adapt somehow, yet truth is will we also let it take our happiness, our souls? I mean in essence our happiness, our heart, hopes and dreams it's all the guts of us.

I can't see letting it take that also. I had a very taxing life also, many say wow you must of been some rare princess on an island in your last life and i laugh and say maybe in my next life. i never catch a break, it's been one long battle after another in my life.

yet it's made me stronger as im sure it has for many of you. i get angry at times, than i let it out cry, get really discouraged and than i put it back on the shelf and back into the box.

there is good in everything there is always good out there. ms just makes it a little harder to find yet you can find it. someone wrote stopping to smell the flowers, it's the truth i stop now at junk i look at trees it's waking me up to whats around me like never before that iv'e taken for granted for years.

I hope in time it can for you also. hang in there, you'll come around and it'll probably wax and wane. just keep telling yourself it isn't cancer you will live.

((hugs)))

[Turtlebay]

Thanks for the replies

Wow, thanks for all the replies. You all gave me a lot to think about. I appreciate the encouragement that I will learn to accept MS. It helps to know that I am not alone in this journey.

[Thinkimjob]

You have to accept it; that doesn't mean you have to like it.

[rdmc]

Acceptance, for me, is an evolving thing.

On a "normal" day, when I'm dealing with the symptoms I'm used to dealing with, I can say that I've totally accepted the situation.

Throw in a long lasting exacerbation, or some new symptoms that throw me for a loop and I'm right back to the "grrrrr...I hate this disease...wonder if this will go away...wonder if I'll be stuck with this too" place, which is a total non-acceptance mode.

If that symptom does stick around, and become my new "normal", then I eventually come to a new point of acceptance, UNTIL, the next thing hits.

For me it's proven that just because I've reached acceptance today, doesn't mean it's going to stick around tomorrow

[tommylee]

I didn't have a great childhood, worked my *** off to create a nice life and then along came MS. It was just the icing on the crap cake as far as I'm concerned.

Similar here..... Childhood sucked- (worst time of my life. but i was healthy)
Left home right after highschool and worked hard to build a very nice life...Then just when I started to think I had it whipped- MS came along and screwed it all up.

It has not completely ruined my life... It is more like I start every day by stepping in dog poop.

Still MS has cured me of any pride issues I may have had?
Yippy! I have been humbled! ( does not feel like a prize.)

[cosake]

I agree that you can accept it, but you don't have to be happy about it !

I accepted it right away I think, that this is just going to be something else for me to deal with in my life, along with all of my other medical issues.

I have had minor symptoms since start of diagnosis 1 and 1/2 years ago (had ON and didn't suspect anything), but didn't have a major flare until a few weeks ago.

I have learned all that I can about the disease, and have read thousands of posts here on the boards. I have a supporting family but they don't really "get" it and that is OK with me.

I am more open with others about it now and can talk to people who aren't close to me about my MS.

I know that there is nothing I can do to change my diagnosis -- so why try to fight accepting it ?

That being said, I have had the occasional pity party - which I think is healthy to do. Get it out of your system and keep moving on.

Good luck and sorry that you have to be here. But, it's a great place !

[Tawanda]

You have to accept it; that doesn't mean you have to like it.

touche'!

[Kiwiinoz]

For me it's proven that just because I've reached acceptance today, doesn't mean it's going to stick around tomorrow

Brilliant!! I love it, I think I'm nearly at this stage.

[nightflyer]

Acceptance?

Having been diagnosed in 1996...I find I have to reconfigure with every new symptom. Just when I think I have accepted my past, present, and future MS...something new happens and I'm scared, worried, and depressed until I can accept it, make the new adjustments in order to function at my highest level again and move on.

Take good care...you'll be o.k.

[bonniebelle]

Its a crap shoot ..for sure.Who knows how they will feel tomorrow?Six yrs now. Good days and bad days...but I am pretty sure it was like that befor Ms.I determined to go with whatever I felt. If I am sad..I'm sad. If I'm sick..I'm sick.I don't feel guilty..about what I can not control. Somedays I laugh all day....somedays , I don't. But today...I am greatful to be here...because my daughter(my baby) just saw her babies tiny heartbeat for the 1st time.That is life and I live it as it comes,and somes days are just better than others.Today is one of those.Be ready for the good ones...

[DianeD]

A choice?

Do you mean there is a choice? There's not. You can choose to ignore reality, but that won't change things.

I did ignore mine for awhile. I chose to think that those people I saw with wheelchairs and canes in the reception area of my neuro's office were NOT like me.

Well, they aren't just 'like' me; they have their own version of MS. I'm still walking unaided, but my balance is challenged to say the least and I often feel like I'm carrying some feed sacks on my legs.

The acceptance comes. How you deal with it is your choice though. Sort of the 'glass is half full, or the glass is half empty' idea. It's up to you. There is some peace that comes with acceptance. Once you get to that you can take charge.

I go between the glass being 'half full' and 'half empty' and like most people I love to feel good and try to make the nasty MS disappear. At times it is in remission and life seems almost normal. However, I know that is short lived. I have to move ahead with my plan and be knowledgeable, open minded, and vigilant.

I get lots of strength and validation from the folks who post here at MS World. I am not alone. I'd love to have a party and invite you all....

Here's to hope.

Diane

[freeinhou]

I was diagnosed in May, 2011. I'm feeling angry, frustrated and physically I feel like... (can't print what I feel like, it wouldn't be appropriate.) Does it get easier to accept MS? I hate it for what is doing to my present and what it might do to my future? Thanks for letting me vent as I don't want to freak my family out with how I really feel. I want my life back!

ok, that sounds pretty familiar. You got it - angry, frustrated, scared, I can't say it all. 6 to 12 months - then it starts to subside. Gradually. Painfully gradually.

Where it goes from here, we don't know. But - I think statistics show 85% of us continue to live a relatively normal life.

I woke up one morning in early 1988 blind in one eye and all the tradtional "textbook" symptoms of MS. They told me in 2/88 yeap - MS.

I wouldn't necessarily plan on retiring early or going on disability right away. I was 30 yo back then. I'm 53 and still working full time without anybody at work knowing i have MS. Just a personal observation.

You wouldn't believe what I've done for a living with MS. There are no limitations in my experience.

I'm not painting the world cheery for you, but it may not be doom and gloom. I wish someone had told me back in 1988 that there's a non-negative possible path forward but no www then... Beta 1-b was the first CRAB to get approved in 1993 and I opted out of any of the whatever - therapies... So the drugs didn't create a positive path forward.

I wish you the best. This is a very difficult time. A lot of us have been there. I feel for you. If you have a dog - take a nice long run with it. It's therapeutic. Or whatever word I thing I'm trying to spell...

Tom

[Daisy Dead Petals]

I googled "famous people with ms" and found out how random indeed it can be.

Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley
Mitt Romney's Wife
Stone Phillips Wife (hes a news anchor)
Pavorotti's wife
to name a few

The anger ebbs and flows like the tide. I worry because I find myself falling helpless to minor abuses and my morality gauge weakening. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. It serves no use to store anger because the loss of physical motion leaves it nowhere to go but wandering inside you.
Try to stay cool and within your god's good graces.

[inmoni5]

The only thing that has made me feel better about the diagnoses is actually having a diagnoses and not having people tell me that it's all in my head and that if I would just exercise and watch what I eat I would feel better. Now There is a reason to why I feel the way I feel. Since my dx things have just gone on a downward spiral. Seems to plateau for a moment and I half forget about the dx (still have all my daily issues) then something starts tingling or weak and I have the anxiety attack that "here we go again" feeling. Will I ever get used to having ms? NO. Will I ever accept it? NO. Is there anything I can do about it? NO. I take my meds like clockwork and I have committed to the SWANK diet. Exercising? not yet. Today my left leg is pins and needles and weak...I guess it's just another day in guess what goes next world

[0485c10]

At first its the most difficult because your timing is still set to pre MS levels. but with time you start to adjust to the timing needed to have with ms and then there are a lot less frustration when your timing is set to what your body is physically capable of.

i often think how frustrating it was and i was at my worst with thew episode that diagnosed me but probably if it got as bad again, it woldn't be as bad of an experience than when i was using pre ms timing.

interesting, i follow ann romney's experience because her diagnosing episode sounded much like mine. and she wrote a public thank you to her husband on fathers day for his support when she had been diagnosed with MS.

http://www.mittromney.com/blogs/mitt...thers-day-mitt

http://blogs.abcnews.com/thenote/201...sband-day.html

Oh and i'm a democrat so i do not support the Romney's in the white house
i just am grateful for what Ann Romney has been willing to share about her experience and of the work she has done for the NMS in Massachusetts. I think they can do much greater work in Massachusetts, Utah or Michigan
than be limited in Washington DC.