Interesting thread. I'm still in limbo land, but I can't help but wonder if the stress I've put on my body has anything to do with where I'm at now. I'm only 23, but I had an eating disorder from age 10 on. I would say I'm in recovery now, I suppose.
It sucks because I'm seven months purge free and here I am facing a possible diagnosis of MS. For the first time in my life, I'm committed to taking care of myself, and here I am. It's what got me into the doctor's office and got the MRI and other tests....I had put off medical care because I didn't feel I deserved it and because, if I'm being completely honest, I was nervous about the results.
I struggled mainly with bulimia, at least for about 7 of those 13 years. Although restricting has been an issue since last year. I lost my appetite and the ED thoughts and all that followed. I've been in treatment nine times, but that's a combination of partial programs, intensive outpatient, one inpatient psych stay, and a couple shots at residential treatment. I finally managed to break the binge-purge cycle on an outpatient level with the help from my boyfriend.
I do, however, find the possibility of MS daunting (of course), and it can make the idea of staying in recovery hard sometimes. I know I need to stay healthy but sometimes I get a "why bother?!" attitude that's hard to kick. It's also still very difficult to eat anywhere near "enough" and I know that that alone can do damage. I've been lucky as far as not having serious permanent damage as a result of my ED (that I know of), but I also know I need to get my act together. Especially if it turns out I have MS (and it's really looking that way)
Sorry for the rant :/
It sucks because I'm seven months purge free and here I am facing a possible diagnosis of MS. For the first time in my life, I'm committed to taking care of myself, and here I am. It's what got me into the doctor's office and got the MRI and other tests....I had put off medical care because I didn't feel I deserved it and because, if I'm being completely honest, I was nervous about the results.
I struggled mainly with bulimia, at least for about 7 of those 13 years. Although restricting has been an issue since last year. I lost my appetite and the ED thoughts and all that followed. I've been in treatment nine times, but that's a combination of partial programs, intensive outpatient, one inpatient psych stay, and a couple shots at residential treatment. I finally managed to break the binge-purge cycle on an outpatient level with the help from my boyfriend.
I do, however, find the possibility of MS daunting (of course), and it can make the idea of staying in recovery hard sometimes. I know I need to stay healthy but sometimes I get a "why bother?!" attitude that's hard to kick. It's also still very difficult to eat anywhere near "enough" and I know that that alone can do damage. I've been lucky as far as not having serious permanent damage as a result of my ED (that I know of), but I also know I need to get my act together. Especially if it turns out I have MS (and it's really looking that way)
Sorry for the rant :/
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