I cant STAND THIS!! I want to scream and kick and yell and drive my car into a tree and just go AWOL!
I had soo much potential! I hate what this disease has made me! I was so beautiful and spunky and smart and I loved me! Why did this have to happen!?
I am 29 and was dxed at 26, my plan was to get married and have a family and start my own business and be happy healthy and successful! I dont get how this happened!
I am so scared cuz I feel like I will never be loveable in the hollow shell of disease. I have never met a man yet with a chronic illness and well my ex boyfriend chased me out the house because he couldnt deal with me!
My self esteem has been shot, I hate my job, I am scared and alone and dont know what to do. "Living" like this is not panning out to be worth it. I know I am "young" but what can I possible offer a man? I can have babies but why would I want to? I can hardly afford to take care of myself let alone anyone else. What is the point of being a woman?
I just want someone to hold me tight and wipe away my tears and my fears. Someone who wont leave me if I have a bad day or chase me out because I am sad.
I am feeling horrible today, I have so much on my plate right now and none of it is anything I want to stomach. Its what I have to do. I dont have the option for fun, what is fun? I havent had fun all year. What is life without fun?
I quit all my vices, am eating a stupid super stringent diet, I live with mom and dad (who suck at the emotional support thing lucky healthy people) I am single, alone and hate my job. I have a job I know I am lucky, its all men, all greasy immigrants and I just feel lost and alone. It hardly pays me enuff to survive, I need new clothes and my vehicle is getting way old..I am so scared to face each day. Waking up in fear each day is NOT good.
Thank you all for reading my rant. Im sorry I am not more positive today. This life has to get better, I am so sick of being sick and tired. SICK AND TIRED OF SUFFERING. My entire life has been a struggle, emotional issues, headaches, I got picked on badly growing up and still get beat down for my attitude. Healthy people just do not understand this. I look okay but that doesnt mean anything..this just adds icing to the cake. I miss him. I wish I could go back to the way things were.
Life has to get better. It just has to.
I had soo much potential! I hate what this disease has made me! I was so beautiful and spunky and smart and I loved me! Why did this have to happen!?
I am 29 and was dxed at 26, my plan was to get married and have a family and start my own business and be happy healthy and successful! I dont get how this happened!
I am so scared cuz I feel like I will never be loveable in the hollow shell of disease. I have never met a man yet with a chronic illness and well my ex boyfriend chased me out the house because he couldnt deal with me!
My self esteem has been shot, I hate my job, I am scared and alone and dont know what to do. "Living" like this is not panning out to be worth it. I know I am "young" but what can I possible offer a man? I can have babies but why would I want to? I can hardly afford to take care of myself let alone anyone else. What is the point of being a woman?
I just want someone to hold me tight and wipe away my tears and my fears. Someone who wont leave me if I have a bad day or chase me out because I am sad.
I am feeling horrible today, I have so much on my plate right now and none of it is anything I want to stomach. Its what I have to do. I dont have the option for fun, what is fun? I havent had fun all year. What is life without fun?
I quit all my vices, am eating a stupid super stringent diet, I live with mom and dad (who suck at the emotional support thing lucky healthy people) I am single, alone and hate my job. I have a job I know I am lucky, its all men, all greasy immigrants and I just feel lost and alone. It hardly pays me enuff to survive, I need new clothes and my vehicle is getting way old..I am so scared to face each day. Waking up in fear each day is NOT good.
Thank you all for reading my rant. Im sorry I am not more positive today. This life has to get better, I am so sick of being sick and tired. SICK AND TIRED OF SUFFERING. My entire life has been a struggle, emotional issues, headaches, I got picked on badly growing up and still get beat down for my attitude. Healthy people just do not understand this. I look okay but that doesnt mean anything..this just adds icing to the cake. I miss him. I wish I could go back to the way things were.
Life has to get better. It just has to.
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