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**Cat Mom** · 09-05-2012, 03:15 PM

Lammy, I don't know quite what to say without sounding motherly. I know hearts and flowers will only go so far on horrible days like you're having so I won't insult you by trying to sound like ray of sunshine, OK?

It's sooooo completely overwhelming, life altering and frightening and affects EVERY part of our lives, it's no wonder you are so scared. It sounds like right now, you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and I promise you that you're not alone.

You will drive yourself nuts trying to solve all of your issues at once, you have to break them down into small tasks. Put it on paper, however you want to. For example, make a list of stuff you can change and another of stuff you can't so you can physically see the difference. Most likely, there will only be 1 thing on the list of stuff you can't change...

If this helps, then take the list of things you can change and break it down too. Maybe stuff you can change right now and some more things with future dates. It really does help the "OMG! I'm sunk! My life is over!" mindset when you feel completely overwhelmed by it all. Life really is a series of small tasks.

The key is really to find a way to not feel like a victim, which I KNOW is really hard, almost impossible at times. It's very convenient to blame everything that goes wrong on MS and in order to live with it (not just exist) you must take ownership of some things that maybe aren't due to MS but due to choices that you've made along the way. Not always bad choices, sometimes well thought-out, sensible choices end up being the wrong one (I married mine! Got it right the 2nd time though lol).

I'm really sorry if I sound harsh but I've sooooo been there! It took tons of training and mind games with myself to get out of that rut. If you're reading this and thinking "Sounds good in theory but she probably doesn't know what it's like to have the stress", you're incorrect!

I don't know you but I do know you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. I know this because as I sit here puffing on a cigarette, I'm trying to think of how much inner strength it must have taken you to give up your vices. I'm slightly embarrassed to be even trying to offer you advice in light of that!

I'm sorry this is so long, again, I don't mean to "mother you" but your post was heartbreaking on so many levels. I think you're probably looking to hear from someone your own age not a 47 year old but IMHO, MS doesn't discriminate based on age. My email is in my profile should you want to rant and use proper swear words. I promise, nothing you say will shock me, I have 2 daughters (21 and 26), 1 son (23) and 3 step-sons (16, 17 and19).

Please try hard to see the 'you' that you miss so much, she's still in there!
Jen

**BigA** · 09-05-2012, 05:49 PM

You lost me at "greasy immigrants".

But even so - depression and exasperation is still not necessary, even with a disease. I recommend you investigate whether you're depressed.

**twisterred** · 09-05-2012, 08:24 PM

LammyCat,

Life is hard. I wish it wasn't that way.
Some people like you and me get MS young (I was 21).

Thank goodness there are more tools to help now than there used to be.
One of the best things I did after being diagnosed, was really talking to others with MS and getting out of myself. Ask questions of others, get advice.
Many have offered more than just MS advice to me that I cherish.

Here is a link that discussed Stress Management can help prevent lesions.
http://www.webmd.com/multiple-sclero...-management-ms

There are stages of grief and I have gone through the stages over and over during my 20+ years with MS.
Times of feeling lost and hopeless, angry and sad are normal.
http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-...-of-grief.html

Be good to yourself. I heard a counselor mention that we need to be our own best friend and encourage ourselves.
Even making a list of good things each day can help replace negative thoughts with better ones. The better issues are handled, the better for your own health.

My parents are super healthy, too.
Even as a kid, I couldn't keep up with them.
I still can't.
Maybe that is just part of MS for many of us.

It helped me to "give" my disease to a Higher Power.
I don't know why any of us have MS. We certainly don't deserve it. But then, many others have conditions and circumstances they don't deserve, either.

Maybe, your self esteem feels shot because part of your identity has been drastically changed.

I felt the same way. Many times I have felt that.
It was no fun to be 26 years old and use a cane at work when the year before, I didn't have to.

You are the same person you were pre-diagnosis.
Now, you have been forced down a different life path.
Try to make the best of it. You have to live with yourself, so be good to yourself.

A great person is still a great person, MS or not.
Anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds are very common for MS patients. The disease does often increase problems with both issues, so maybe mention your situation to your Dr.

Come back here for emotional support. We'll do our best to help. :-)

Odds are, your parents still see you as healthy, just with the label MS. Teach them and get them involved, if you can.
It's important to remind people MS is an Invisible Disease.
It can affect an area of the body. Learn all you can, the good the bad... better to know than be in the dark and surprised.

Life will get better.
MS seems to have brought out other issues that also need to be worked through.

Remember, be your best cheerleader and encourager for yourself (and come back here).

**msmoonlite** · 09-06-2012, 08:54 AM

Originally posted by BigA View Post

You lost me at "greasy immigrants".

But even so - depression and exasperation is still not necessary, even with a disease. I recommend you investigate whether you're depressed.

Yeah. Sorry. Me too. Anger at this disease is understandable. Racism, not so much. Hope you have a better day.

**LammyCat** · 09-06-2012, 01:54 PM

greasy immigrant

I am offended you think that my greasy immigrant comment is racist. I didnt say anything about race. My family are greasy immigrants too. :P

Quit with the race cards.

I am a woman and work with all men in this machine shop, it pays me wages which I am fortunate for. I dont have to love my fellow employees.

**techie** · 09-06-2012, 03:45 PM

I think it's the machine shop that is greasy. Not the fact that the men are immigrants. Working on machines tends to make one greasy.
techie

**Cat Mom** · 09-06-2012, 04:31 PM

Lammy, are you having a better day today?

**LammyCat** · 09-06-2012, 05:32 PM

Off year

I am having a really hard time with acceptance.

I have so much on my plate. I am spinning.

I dont have lesions on my spine. The doctors were really quick to diagnose it. I did have a spinal tap.

I am fighting to accept this. How can you? How can you accept your fate when you believe it is diet related? When you believe the injections were causing more damage than not? It has evolved but I now eat a really strict Paleo diet with the only sugars being stone fruits..I am going nuts. I just want some ***** cookies.

I am being told I have adrenal fatigue, and hypoglycemia to boot. I already know I have some bad kidneys.

No one I know is dealing with this, lucky ignorant fools. I was the fool to stop my meds, I stopped to have a chance at a baby with my bf, the man I believed was my soulmate, the man er boy who inevitably chased me out anyway. I am lonely, scared and hungry all the time. I feel like a failure and a pathetic hollow shell of a person. My already low self esteem took a huge blow and I am severely depressed. My family keeps saying just try harder..I am trying hard as it is to not fold me hand let alone try harder to be happy.

I just want this to end. I just want to have my cake and eat it too. Should I go against everything I have learned about diet? I will have guilt every time I put something in my mouth I know isnt the best for my health.

I will feel treason against myself if I fail to be strong.

I hate this.

Sure Im doing better today. Whatever better is.

**poohb3ar** · 09-06-2012, 09:59 PM

lammycat, the MonSter is very cruel! robbing us of so much.
i'm sorry you're having to deal with it at such a young age.

i can't imagine what you're going through. i do know though that i have felt much of what you said. wondered what was the use, it wasn't going to get better.

you'll have your physical and emotional ups and downs.
sorry your family is trying to put a bandaid on you and think it's all better.

when i was struggling it helped to get some meds and to talk to a professional counselor. she has helped me put things in perspective and shown me where i can have more control over my life and body.
it has really helped me. perhaps you would benefit also from a counselor.

please, if you feel like it's all not worth and are thinking suicide, even if only for an instant, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 Professionals that can help are available 24/7. PLEASE call! It's free and 100% confidential.

i am thankful to those who have given you some good, encouraging advice. i pray that you will find something/ someone who can help you through this tough time.

please keep us posted on how you're doing. we do care

for some who've posted please remember
MSWorld guidelines state: "1. INTERNET ETIQUETTE: Show respect for others at all times.

MSWorld is patients HELPING patients.

please take care and God bless you!

**twisterred** · 09-06-2012, 10:02 PM

Glad you are back Lammy.

Sorry about your diagnosis... I was diagnosed quickly too.
There were plenty of lesions showing on my MRI.

Good news! It is absolutely normal to be overwhelmed with this diagnosis. Give yourself time. It's a day by day thing. Life as you know it has completely changed.
Your future has changed too.

There is no pushing through MS.
It will begin teaching you what it wants.

For example, I had to learn to sit and rest for 15 minutes or so after getting dressed and ready for work. Otherwise, I would be in greater pain and more foggy headed than if I had not. A crazy MS thing, but I learned I needed to do that. I still do, actually.

Having a more Zen-like acceptance helps. It does take time, but it happens.

I didn't think I'd ever laugh again, but I have.
I've gone on vacations (with better planning and rest), but in the beginning, I couldn't imagine having a normal life. I have a normal life, it's just a new normal.

Diet related fate?
Not sure what that means.
Trying to eat healthier is great, but there isn't absolute proof any diet works. None can cure MS.
Eat what you want and what you need for your body.
I used to go to an MS support group meetings and friends would bring cheesecake.

Genes have much to do with who gets MS, but science doesn't know how anyone gets it.

Some risk factors are listed here:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/mul...N=risk-factors

Having a family member with a different auto immune condition increases chances of MS. I have a close relative with asthma, one with rheumatoid arthritis, one with Fibromyalgia.
Often an MS person has more than just MS.
I have some eczema, which also is an auto-immune condition. It's weird, but common.

People in Ireland have MS the most.
I have Irish ancestry, and my guess is many, many people in the USA do.

I think I heard Ohio has the most MS people in the USA.

The injection I take, Copaxone has been beneficial, not damaging.
It is very mild compared to many of the treatments now.
I have friends who really benefit from stronger treatment, so it's worth it for many.
I have learned to embrace and accept the side effects, since the medication has slowed the progression of my MS.

With adrenal fatigue, you need to eat! Same with hypoglycemia!
I have a neighbor that has AF and has to eat quite often.
My parents know a woman with HG, she is always crunching on almonds. They are in her purse always.

Have you been tested for Fibromyalgia?

It's good that you are reaching out to us since we have MS.
No one understands MS unless they have it or are around it. It is a learning process and takes time, even for you.

Sorry about the relationship breakup.
If often happens, but not always or forever.
Again, I have MS friends that post how happy they are in new relationships. It will get better.

You aren't a failure (remember to be your own best friend!!).
Eat good foods... confession time for me... I had a cheeseburger this weekend.

There is no trying harder with MS.
Your are in mourning of your life plans, you have a disease that robs your energy, depression is often part of the condition and eliminating stress is much more of a priority since this is a neurological disease. Stressed, damaged nerves don't work well.
Damaged nerves without stress don't always work well either.

Just do your best.

Remember, it's OK to eat!!

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**Cat Mom** · 09-07-2012, 06:29 AM

Lammy, I thought you might get a chuckle out of this... I have been helping our auto mechanic get his office in order as his girl didn't return after maternity leave... so I'm joining you in a greasy place today! I will check on you later.
Jen

**Special Kay** · 09-07-2012, 08:39 AM

I just wanted to say that if you have bad kidneys, you probably should think hard about whether the paleo diet is doing you any favors. Usually a kidney diet is quite restricted in protein since protein is hard on the kidneys.

Just something to think about.

**BigA** · 09-07-2012, 02:19 PM

Originally posted by LammyCat View Post

I am offended you think that my greasy immigrant comment is racist. I didnt say anything about race. My family are greasy immigrants too. :P

Quit with the race cards.

I am a woman and work with all men in this machine shop, it pays me wages which I am fortunate for. I dont have to love my fellow employees.

So you work in with immigrants in a machine shop. You caught a few of us. Well played.

**msmoonlite** · 09-07-2012, 04:41 PM

MS should not excuse offensive behavior

Moderator:

Don't handslap me for voicing my displeasure. I don't appreciate being told the terms of MSworld civility. Nothing I said came even close to being offensive or combative.

If greasy immigrant Lammy wants to call herself that, fine, but there are at least 10 ways to describe her co workers without being offensive:

1. Auto mechanic immigrants
2. Immigrant coworkers
3. Greasy mechanics
4. Greasy mechanic male coworkers
5. Coworkers
6. Men she works with
7. Fellow immigrants
8. Fellow greasy people (since she works at a mechanics shop)
9. men she's not interested in
10. coworkers withhout MS

greasy immigrant Lammy is 29, so its not as if she doesn't know better, and it is not as if we all have not been through struggles as MS sufferers. You don't see anyone else using such a foul sentiment.

I didn't say anything to greasy immigrant Lammy other than the fact that I did not appreciate how she said what she did, and I wished her a better day. If that is enough to warrant a reminder to be civil, then I have no problem going right back to coming here once every two years or so and not posting.

Chances are this post will be moderated out. Whether or not it is moderate this: **my dust as I slam the door on this website**

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