But you're looking so good! Member Topic of the Month 6/2019

[Seasha]

Your Member Topic for the month of June is here!
Thanks to all who participated in May's Member Topic of the Month!

How do others cope with the comment "you're looking so good" when you're feeling like crud? Is it really even worth the effort to try and be 'normal' when it takes all that you have to pull it off?

Have you heard this before? Share with others how you cope with these comments and share tips or words of wisdom that will be helpful to others.

We appreciate all your participation and hope to hear more from you! You can add more suggestions here: https://www.msworld.org/forum/showth...TH-suggestions!

[CheerDown]

Three ways that I deal with it: Thank them for the compliment and let it go, Thank them and then compliment them on how good they look, or use humor bordering on sarcasm by saying something like "Thanks. Now that I know I look good, I can stop wasting my money on doctors and drugs and stuff." Which approach I use depends on who I am dealing with. The third option is one I generally use on someone who knows me pretty well or another person who has MS.

[KoKo]

Hello CheerDown

Thank them for the compliment and let it go

This response works the best for me.

[502E79]

I almost always say "I'm doing the best I can."

At times I may add something like "just slower today," or "older than I am," or a simple "Thanks, you too!"

People that say these things mean no harm, they might even believe it due to how poorly we looked when last they saw us.

What surprises me is when I feel darn good and hear.... "You ok? You don't look too good"

Ahhh MS. What can anyone say?

[gargantua]

One of my family members says "so you're doing great?"

People don't realize that implicit in that is "if you're not doing great I don't want to hear about it."

Just don't ask.

[gargantua]

One of my family members says "so you're doing great?"

People don't realize that implicit in that is "if you're not doing great I don't want to hear about it."

Just don't ask.

On the flip side of this, I just saw an article on one of the MS sites suggesting things never to say to someone with MS. Among them were: “does it hurt?” “Can I pray for you?” and “nice wheelchair.” Honestly I don’t see how any of these are offensive. If someone wants to direct positive thoughts to me via whatever their belief system is, that is a lovely gesture. If someone is curious about symptoms, that is an opportunity to educate them about MS. If someone things my assistive device is nice, that is merely an inclusive comment in my opinion and possibly another opportunity to provide education. Stay positive and hang in there.