I have a strange life. (Don't we all!) A multitude of positives and negatives.
Yes MS sucks but I really don't care when I fall rollerblading. At least I still go out there and challenge balance and also get fit (which lately has shown it really does help with cognitive deficits). I've gotten used to dropping and spilling and.. flinging things across the room through no conscious effort. It's almost a gift - haha. It's actually just spasms and tremors.
Okay the mood and mental health issues suck. But I've developed such a toughness I wish I has MS years ago and would have been better able to ward off the crazy-making treatment I received but whatever. Not to sound (whatever the word is) but given my family, MS was the best thing that could happen. But that same family experience also led to a sizable inheritance and don't care for fancy things so I'm set for life.
I have no husband, boyfriend, girlfriend? No children but am contemplating a cat but I'm intimidated by the responsibilities. Concerning friends I lent a sizable amount of money to one I'd known for 20 years and found out he lied on so many accounts and I may not see it again. I'm done with close acquaintances. I enjoy talking to the strangers I meet in daily life. I'm joining habitat for humanity so that's a big positive. I found out ways to keep my mom from intruding into my life by keeping her busy helping me speak german and now she's going to teach me to crochet and we're gonna make scarves for people who need it - whom I see everyday and feel there's more to do besides giving a few dollars. I donated thousands of dollars to charities and 'go fund me's and it was great to see deserving people get what they deserved - more than what was asked.
I like my life! I love being alone. I just went skiing in Colorado by myself and had a blast. I love roadtrips.
I don't cringe and waste time calculating costs for every item at the grocery anymore. I buy healthy food lots of produce and don't even look at the receipt.
I live with constant paranoia but I just choose to do nothing about it and sometimes create background stories to amuse myself. Okay this part is weird but seriously it doesn't affect my day to day functioning.
But I do feel guilty and still have dark days. But is this life okay or should I be something more or different?
Thanks for reading
So
Yes MS sucks but I really don't care when I fall rollerblading. At least I still go out there and challenge balance and also get fit (which lately has shown it really does help with cognitive deficits). I've gotten used to dropping and spilling and.. flinging things across the room through no conscious effort. It's almost a gift - haha. It's actually just spasms and tremors.
Okay the mood and mental health issues suck. But I've developed such a toughness I wish I has MS years ago and would have been better able to ward off the crazy-making treatment I received but whatever. Not to sound (whatever the word is) but given my family, MS was the best thing that could happen. But that same family experience also led to a sizable inheritance and don't care for fancy things so I'm set for life.
I have no husband, boyfriend, girlfriend? No children but am contemplating a cat but I'm intimidated by the responsibilities. Concerning friends I lent a sizable amount of money to one I'd known for 20 years and found out he lied on so many accounts and I may not see it again. I'm done with close acquaintances. I enjoy talking to the strangers I meet in daily life. I'm joining habitat for humanity so that's a big positive. I found out ways to keep my mom from intruding into my life by keeping her busy helping me speak german and now she's going to teach me to crochet and we're gonna make scarves for people who need it - whom I see everyday and feel there's more to do besides giving a few dollars. I donated thousands of dollars to charities and 'go fund me's and it was great to see deserving people get what they deserved - more than what was asked.
I like my life! I love being alone. I just went skiing in Colorado by myself and had a blast. I love roadtrips.
I don't cringe and waste time calculating costs for every item at the grocery anymore. I buy healthy food lots of produce and don't even look at the receipt.
I live with constant paranoia but I just choose to do nothing about it and sometimes create background stories to amuse myself. Okay this part is weird but seriously it doesn't affect my day to day functioning.
But I do feel guilty and still have dark days. But is this life okay or should I be something more or different?
Thanks for reading
So
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