How do you manage your day to day chores?!

[Debby]

You know, for the most part, I have become pretty good at accepting my limitations. I have learned to "pace" myself, getting things done without taxing myself so much that I collapse. I have become good at "listening" to my body, and understanding what I can and cannot realistically do. I have become better at saying no. I have overcome "most" of the guilt for the past and present, etc...

Then today I attempted some serious cleaning, and while I forced myself not to stop (with a short lunch break), I have this odd feeling tonight of accomplishment and frustration. Accomplishment for what I was able to actually get done! Frustration for how difficult it was, how bad things are in the house which takes a lot of energy to get in order, and for becoming someone who can tolerate more than my past self would have put up with. After today, I am thinking (not for the first time) that it is easier to keep things up than let them go, and try to catch up!

I used to be a clean freak, obsessed with organization and neatness at all times. Actually, I think I am still that person, I just can't afford to have someone clean my house, and I can't seem to keep it the way I want. And I don't know if any of you can relate, but I "mentally" feel so much better when my house is clean and orderly, and I feel like I have all my ducks in a row!!! It is a GOOD feeling! I want to keep it!

Have so much more on my mind, but I will shut up! Just want to know how all of you do it? Any handy tips for the long-term?! Thanks!

[22cyclist]

Learn to let it go...

I am also that clean freak. I do all of the cleaning and laundry at home. I have had to just let some of the cleaning go and do the laundry as I can, same with the dishes. Yes, they pile up. Too bad. I have been really sick since I was hospitalized a few weeks ago. I feel worthless, but too bad, nothing I can do about it. I have had MS for almost 10 years. My family knows it and will chip in when absolutely needed.

You can't feel bad about it. That is what I have learned.
Don't let it get to you even if you are in limbo. Do what you can and let the rest go until you can do it.

Take care
Lisa
Moderation Team

[Thinkimjob]

Me? I'm afraid I'll wind up on Hoarders. I can do one "big" job a day. I try to do small stuff every time I enter or exit a room.

You can get quite a bit done, but it's NEVER done, and it makes me so tired.

Standards have definitely fallen, but that really can't be helped.

I miss sitting down and enjoying knowing everything was sparkly clean.

[Thankful2B]

Debby, you took the words right out of my mouth! I could have written your post word for word! I feel the same way, and I'm sure a lot of others do as well. I do still struggle with a little guilt, but most of the guilt has become frustration because I just can't do what I want to do anymore.

I can't afford to have my house cleaned either. Oh, how I wish I could. My sisters in law and friends have offered several times, but I'm too embarrassed to have them see how bad it gets! I have become a hider/stasher. I hide and stash things in other rooms before someone comes over!

I have, however, decided to start saving up to have a one-time cleaning done. I will do this as often as I can, even if it's just twice a year. That way I know that I can have the whole house clean for at least a bit.

[CaroleL]

Hi Debby,

I was like you when it came to the house. I would wash my floors, cupboard door, etc. daily.

I called it my aromatherapy! I love the smell of clean. oh and the Pine Sol, my favorite. The shine off the floor! lI was the person who couldn't sit down if there was something to do.

Cooking is a passions for me. I would cook and bake and when my kids would come, they always left with "care packages". I so enjoyed this.

I haven't walked in two years. You should see my house! Hubby does his best and things are ok but if we're looking for something specific, lord knows where it'll be. Somewhere in the piles he makes when he doesn't know what to do with something.

Now I'm restricted to the top floor. I don't see anything from the main level. I think people understand when things aren't perfect.

I'm hoping to have some kind of help, maybe a weekly once over. I've yet to know what home services are offered but its worth looking into.

Maybe I'll be sniffing the caps of household cleaners to get that good feeling again! LMAO!

I'm readjusting my life I guess, and learning to deal with Ms, with my new life. Don't spend too much energy on something you can do nothing about! I know that that gets me depressed and I end up crying. In the end, things are still the same.

Life with MS, for me, is a new reality; a new world. I have to focus on the present, know my limitations, and create my new world from there.

I hope you make peace with this "new you". I'm not there yet but it's a work in progress. We can all support each other through this.

Hugs!

[HellsBells1]

I'm lucky enough to be able to have someone come once a week for 2 hours and do the cleaning. I still have to unload/load the dishwasher before she comes (so that's once a week). Not as bad as it sounds though, because there's just me and DH, and he is at work 95 hours/week so basically just sleeps here. Mostly just coffee cups and a few plates.

I do my laundry while my cleaning lady is here, and have learned not to waste my time folding when I take out of the dryer, but immediately go hang straight from the basket. I only have to do 2 loads of clothes, and then my bedding, etc. Making the bed with clean sheets is the last thing I do, because then I'm done. Can't do anymore on that day. But at least laundry is done and house is clean once/week.

I order my groceries on-line and have them delivered, and the driver brings them all right into my kitchen, and I put them away (on a different day than laundry day).

And to be honest, that's about all that I do at home as far as chores. I still have about 15-20 hours of book keeping to do for our business, but I connect from home when I can, and save up the trips to the restaurant for when I have a bunch of stuff that needs to be done. Fridays, when I have about 5 hours at work, I suffer.

We all learn to let go a little. keep your chin up.

[Tomjadg]

My job has always been to run the in house vacum sweeper. Although my wife offered to take it over, she does way too much now, so I told her I will still do it.

I do one floor at a time, and stop to give my legs a rest between floors. Pacing is everything.

I overid it a few weeks ago cleaning snow from and around the cars and sidewalk, and could barely walk. It took two days to recover.

[Debby]

Thanks everyone, you have some great insight and ideas! I'll tell you, I'm paying the price today for yesterday's cleaning spree! But I am enjoying the clean house, and even went around sprucing things up this morning trying to keep it that way...

Sigh. I am happy for those of you who can afford help, truly. I would get it in a heartbeat if I could! I do like the idea of having someone come in twice a year to clean...wondering if that's doable?

I am a stacker/stasher! Our home office was overflowing from all the multiple stacks of things I'd put in there, and I freaked out when my husband boxed the stacks and put them in the basement, what if I needed something? Well, so far I haven't missed any of it! I drive him nuts with my stacks! I sometimes drive myself nuts too!

Carole, don't get high on sniffing the pine sol! I can so understand...I used to cook too, and bake. Now my hubby seems to enjoy it, so I leave him to it because I never really enjoyed it...but I DO enjoy the scent of pine sol and Lysol and CLEAN!!!

Any more thoughts and ideas are welcome!

[baydenoc]

22Cyclist

I am sorry to read you have been hospitalized and pray you are recovering.

I am laying in bed, it is 11am. I am trying to figure out a reason to get up. I just can't deal with the balance, drop foot and trouble with amb.

I have no diagnosis other than ataxia which is a symptom not a diagnosis. I am not a productive member of society, I have no purpose.

I have been divorced for 25 yrs so my kids are grown and knee deep in their own lives. I have left my house 3 x since Christmas to go to the store.

I recently applied for a job that wouldn't require a lot of walking. It would give me a reason for getting out of this bed everyday. I am probably rambling. Just conversing I guess.

The worst thing to me is no diagnosis. Kind of hard for your family to understand. They expect you to continue like always. What's wrong with me that I can't?

[Debby]

Baydenoc...you sound depressed? I hope I don't sound too presumptuous, but I have felt the way you are myself, and it is mentally, emotionally, psychologically too hard to get out of bed when you feel like there is no point.

I think working would be an excellent idea...not just getting out of the house (and bed!), but developing new relationships and friendships. That will go a long way towards helping you get out of this slump. It always helps me to realize there is a whole world beyond me, my problems and my isolation in my home. Focusing outward helps so...much to keep your own life, and your problems, in perspective.

Hugs!

[baydenoc]

Debby

Thanks for your words of encouragement. Sometimes just seeing your own words in print help you identify areas to improve. I.I.I..... Really need to find something else to focus on, just don't have it in me. Taking a drug for depression is not an option as strength and balance is bad.

Thank you so much for your response.

Baydenoc

[HellsBells1]

Thanks for your words of encouragement. Sometimes just seeing your own words in print help you identify areas to improve. I.I.I..... Really need to find something else to focus on, just don't have it in me. Taking a drug for depression is not an option as strength and balance is bad.

Thank you so much for your response.

Baydenoc

Actually, there are some types of anti-depressants that have shown to be very helpful for neuropathic pain and other auto-immune sx, such as balance, gait, etc. These are some in the class of dopamine and norapenephrine reuptake inhibitors (vs. the usually prescribed SSRIs - Seratonin reuptake inhibitors). However, the first class has some contraindications for some other meds often prescribed for MS sx (like benzodiazepenes or anti-epilectic drugs).

If you feel that you have no motivation and are secluding yourself, you are likely depressed, and perhaps you should see a psychiatrist that would know more about the types of anti-depressants and their other uses. Also, good news for those that smoke... these types of anti-depressants are the ones that have helped with smoking cessation.

If I ever have to go back on an anti-depressant, I would try one of these ones, to see if my neuropathic pain is helped. I have bad balance issues too, but after three months of flare, am seeing improvement.

I have to PUSH myself so hard to get out of the house, but usually once I do, I feel better than sitting at home watching recorded shows on TV. Hope you feel better soon, and good luck with finding some work that you can manage and that makes you feel better.

[baydenoc]

HellsBells I

Thank you for that info, I'm saving that. I have my next Neuro appt in April and MD this month and I will check with them about the different meds. I don't smoke and actually don't take too much for drugs.

I take Valium occasionally if needs for spasms but found Baclofen made walking worse. Other than that just vitamins.

Thank you. Baydenoc

[HellsBells1]

Yeah, I think my Clonazepam has made my walking worse, too.

[rdmc]

I'm fortunate in that I have a friend (who just happens to clean houses ) comes in twice a month to do the things I can't do. She's also a great organizer so sometimes I just turn her loose on a closet or cabinets. it is a blessing.

Day to day I do what I can, in spurts. I work from home, so I'm sitting in my recliner or in bed a lot of the day on the computer, but every time I get up to move around I do a little bit of daily stuff like dishwasher, laundry, etc.

My husband, and my son, when he lived at home were great. No chore was ever any one person's responsibility...just do it if you notice it needs to be done, and everything ran on a pretty even keel that way. Told the kid that chores were just part of being a family, and one day, when he's married his wife will appreciate it, so it was good to get in practice now

One bit of advice for those with teenagers...at least this was how it was with us. Our kid was great, he helped around the house, inside and out...but his room was a disaster, and I just closed the door, and let it be. He did his own laundry, so I had no reason to venture into his domain, and seeing the mess would just stress me out, so I just kept the door shut. When even he couldn't stand it he'd clean it. ( he's married now and his wife says he's a great help around the house...so me letting him live in a "pigpen" didn't scar him for life.)