I do not know

[kbloom2]

I used to do so much stuff with my kids go to the park, go to the mall go window shopping etc. Its seems to me now that I cant do those things with my kids they have lost all respect for me.

I have had Ms for 6yrs and 3 of those yrs I have had major issue to deal with my oldest, which was stress after stress.
Then me breaking my ankle needing surgrey to have screws put in to not being able to move because of a pressure blister on my heel to me getting a parasite in my blood.

I really miss just getting up grabbing my walker and the kids and going. Now I cannot. I think they have stopped listening to me because we cant do the things we used to do. My son says just lift you legs or just move your legs you know you can and that is when I yell.

My youngest also is falling suit, she thinks if they do it I can too. My husband says be the parent act like the parent your an adult act like it . I think I have but they do not take me seriously anymore because I am in a wheelchair. They know I cant punish them like taking them by their arm and sending them to their room because I am in a wheelchair .

I just do not know anymore, I feel like my husband isnt even welling to understand all he hears is when I start yelling not the stuff before. I love my family a whole lot but it hurts to know they just dont listen thinking its me causing the chaos really what happened to its the whole unit that has the problem now its time to fix it. I just do not get it.
Has any of you gone through this or is going through this?
kari

[HereIam]

Kari,

Oh, the pain that you are feeling as a parent comes through so loud and clear in your posting. Parenting and MS don't always work well together, but they can.

Before any of it can work, though, your husband has got to get on board. If that requires meeting with a social worker or counselor, then that's what has to be done. If he leads by example, by helping you, showing the kids that you cannot do it all for yourself or by yourself, then the kids will start to understand and perhaps start to mimic his behavior. I don't think anything is going to work without hubby's leadership, he's the first fish to fry.

As for doing things with your children, it's so sad to lose those activities, but you can gain others in their place. If there is a college near you, see if you can hire a student to take the kids to parks, beaches, pools, active activities that you aren't presently able to take part in. Perhaps you can go along and be a part of it without the physical requirement You may be able to get a student for very low pay if they are in early childhood ed and want internship credits.

Then, turn your home into a wonderland of things to do while sitting--go to an art warehouse and let your imagination go wild. Play dohs, finger painting, bead work, simple needlework, the list is endless. Have a closet full of these goodies and take out an activity one at a time each day and engage the kids in it. Teach them how to cook simple things, how to fold towels, sweep floors. Make it fun by having a chore chart where they earn a star, and once they get a certain amount of stars, then they can visit the art supply store with your husband and bring home a new project to tackle together.

Life with MS is always changing. We are always adjusting. My son is now 23 and is very understanding and empathetic. However, my 20 year old daughter is still growing into that and at times I can see her resentment that I'm not a mom that can do hours of shopping (Huh, even when I was well I had no interest), days of camping like we used to, and all kinds of hot weather activities that sustained us as a family through the years.

I hope that you are able to incorporate changes that will help you to enjoy your life and children more.

[kbloom2]

Thank you so much for your encourging words. I will try to try tose things you suggested thank you again so much
Kari