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Psychosis, Stage 4? Might be faking MS

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    Psychosis, Stage 4? Might be faking MS

    Let me preface this by saying I truly feel for everyone affected by MS. I cannot imagine how difficult it is for someone to go through this. I felt the best way to answer some questions is to come to you all. I don't know what to do or think and I'm afraid for my Dad.

    My father has been dating a woman for the last 2 years who claims she has MS. There are countless incidents of things happening that just don't make sense and I've caught her in multiple lies, so I really don't even know if she has MS in the first place. I feel horrible for saying that, let me add. They mentioned a situation at a hospital here when she first moved to be with him, where the doctor told her it's all in her head and that she doesn't have MS. She went in for a pain crisis at the time. When I asked later (after many other red flags happening) she said it was because the doc didnt have her records to prove it.

    I feel like she has some kind of psychosis going on. There have been multiple times she has told my dad that his ex has bugged his phone/email/computer etc. He keeps changing his number. She says she used to work in some criminal justice IT thing back when she was younger (she is almost 50 now) so she "knows when it's bugged". Their debit card info have been stolen many times, jewelry stolen from the back of his truck when they were moving, all of her paperwork and medical info from when she was married to ex who was a disabled vet and not living anymore, etc. WAY too many instances of just odd things happening to them.

    I have had so many warning bells go off about her it isn't funny. I just had a baby 9 weeks ago and don't even want them coming over. She is on a TON of narcotics, patches, etc- morphine, fentanyl, and more and still is walking. She apparently has had so many seizures she isn't allowed to drive..?

    When leaving our house this last time, she had some pain putting the strap of her shoe on and said she was about to seize so my dad caught her. I'm a nurse and it was weird watching..I felt like it wasn't really a seizure? Then she got up and was out of it and continued walking with my dad to go to his truck. Are seizures common with MS?

    My grandmother and Aunt are concerned too about her making this stuff up. Apparently she now has sores all over her face and my dad told my grandma it was from an amoeba?! I'm beginning to think it's drugs or psychosis or something.

    Also, I'm pretty sure my dad thinks she is getting ready to die soon because he mentioned they were going to take a trip here in a bit and she quickly was like, "noo, shhh it's ok, dont talk about that right now." and he gave me this look like, "it's bad." Half the time I think she is the one texting on his phone to me..saying things like she is very sick, it's so bad, stage 4 etc yet wouldn't respond back when I said something I know he would respond to about my other sister. Then says "Stage 4 MS, it's bad. But I love her". Just strange.

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Stage 4 MS one of the longest stages?? Is everyone in late-stage MS to the point of not being able to walk/feed themselves- in bed or wheel chair? Because she isn't. She's walking in wedges when we see her, but of course needs to hold on to my dad because she is swaying around and slurring her speech.

    I'm so confused and need guidance! I want to confront my dad and tell him the truth, that I am not comfortable around this woman and I don't want her around my son and daughter, because that's the truth. My nana thinks I should say something too...I think she is too scared to say something.

    What should I do? Does this sound like she has Late Stage MS?

    #2
    Weird uneducated answer, but she could very well be both. Later schizophrenia or other mental illness with MS to boot. I'm not sure how to handle the situation, but talk to your dad and help him in what he feels is best?

    Comment


      #3
      It doesn't sound like the late stage ms scenario.
      But headrift is right people with ms can also have other things going on.

      Maybe to reassure yourself you need to do a bit of detective work and get closer to her instead of pulling back so you may be able to get a clearer picture of what is going on.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by headrift View Post
        Weird uneducated answer, but she could very well be both. Later schizophrenia or other mental illness with MS to boot. I'm not sure how to handle the situation, but talk to your dad and help him in what he feels is best?
        I was thinking the same. I definitely think I should talk with my dad, but I would have to make sure it was during his lunch break since I know she would be with him otherwise. It has been eating me up inside and I have to get it off my chest, but I don't want to be insensitive either. I truly think he is totally warped and unaware of things.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Carolinemf View Post
          It doesn't sound like the late stage ms scenario.
          But headrift is right people with ms can also have other things going on.

          Maybe to reassure yourself you need to do a bit of detective work and get closer to her instead of pulling back so you may be able to get a clearer picture of what is going on.
          Thanks for the reply. Yep I initially was getting closer to her, but then things became too odd (she was wanting to come with me to my prenatal ultrasound/doc appointments etc) and she was constantly telling me about what "my dad's ex was doing to them again." So I backed away. My husband and I tried to include them in things- my birthday dinner, Christmas dinner, baby shower- and things were so strange with her that my husband especially was uncomfortable.

          I think I just need to be open with him and tell him I'm worried and feel uncomfortable around her. Not sure if I should bring up the facts that what she has going on doesn't sound like late stage MS and I think she is taking him for a ride with that. My husband says I shouldn't get involved and it's his relationship between the two of them, but at the same time I can tell he is SO stressed out and doesn't seem like himself..and I want to be able to have him have a relationship with his grandchildren now that he is living near us. I just don't want her part of it lol. Gah I sound like a horrible person.

          Comment


            #6
            Hi RN516

            Originally posted by RN516 View Post
            Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Stage 4 MS one of the longest stages?? Is everyone in late-stage MS to the point of not being able to walk/feed themselves- in bed or wheel chair? Because she isn't. She's walking in wedges when we see her, but of course needs to hold on to my dad because she is swaying around and slurring her speech.

            .What should I do? Does this sound like she has Late Stage MS?
            MS has a disability status scale, known as the Kurtzke Expanded Disability Status Scale, or EDSS.

            I wonder if that was what your father was talking about?

            Here is the EDSS Scale, from 0 - 10:

            https://www.va.gov/MS/Professionals/...atus_Scale.asp

            Take Care
            Last edited by KoKo; 10-07-2018, 10:11 AM.
            PPMS for 22 years (dx 1998)
            ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by KoKo View Post
              Hi RN516



              MS has a disability status scale, known as the Kurtzke Expanded Disability Status Scale, or EDSS.

              I wonder if that was what your father was talking about?

              Here is the EDSS Scale, from 0 - 10:

              https://www.va.gov/MS/Professionals/...atus_Scale.asp

              Take Care
              I'm not sure, but I don't think so. A rating of 4 on this scale doesn't sound like her and if it is, why would he be texting that it's so bad and them saying she is nearing the end of her time etc? It doesn't sound like a 4 on the disability rating scale is near death?

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by RN516 View Post
                I'm not sure, but I don't think so. A rating of 4 on this scale doesn't sound like her and if it is, why would he be texting that it's so bad and them saying she is nearing the end of her time etc? It doesn't sound like a 4 on the disability rating scale is near death?
                RN516 ~

                When your father said stage 4, I thought that perhaps he might have really meant EDSS 4.

                The MS EDSS 4 rating is definitely not near death.

                I do like your idea of talking to him, and telling him that you are concerned. Maybe he will volunteer more info.

                Good luck!

                Take Care
                PPMS for 22 years (dx 1998)
                ~ Worrying will not take away tomorrow's troubles ~ But it will take away today's peace. ~

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by KoKo View Post
                  RN516 ~

                  When your father said stage 4, I thought that perhaps he might have really meant EDSS 4.

                  The MS EDSS 4 rating is definitely not near death.

                  I do like your idea of talking to him, and telling him that you are concerned. Maybe he will volunteer more info.

                  Good luck!

                  Take Care
                  Thank you! I will definitely talk to him.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I agree--this is weird. I have NEVER heard of Stage 4 MS. There are 4 TYPES of MS, but would think that anyone who has MS would be able to tell you what type they have (relapsing remitting, primary progressive, secondary progressive, progressive relapsing) but to my understanding you don't go through all 4 types, so they wouldn't be considered stages.

                    I've heard of stage 4 cancer--that's what first came to mind when I saw stage 4.

                    Honestly from what you've written it sounds like she is addicted to the narcotics and is using her lost medical records as an excuse to get the Rx for everything she is on.

                    Also, the "lost" jewelry and debit cards also sounds like drug addict behavior--used and sold to purchase drugs. I had a coworker who went through something like that with her daughter. Strange charges for fuel on her credit cards (daughter was filling up friends gas tanks and they would give her $20 cash which she would use for drugs.)

                    I would agree with you that she should not be around your kids, or in your home because I would not trust her to not steal stuff to sell. (this could also be a reason why she wanted to get closer to you--easier access to your belongings?)

                    I would encourage you to have your dad go to her dr. appointments with her--see if all those Rx and claims are legitimate.

                    I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but as a nurse and mom and daughter, I would suggest you follow your gut feelings on this.

                    I would also be concerned about your dad's finances--if she really is a drug addict, she could be manipulating him into using his money/retirement funds/assets/etc. to fund her addiction under the guise of "treatments" for one thing or another.

                    I would maybe write a list of things that concern you--just facts--not emotions, and present it to your dad. Ask him to look at those things objectively and see if things are adding up or not.

                    I hope I'm wrong, but these are all the things that are jumping out at me.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by hsmaldo View Post
                      I agree--this is weird. I have NEVER heard of Stage 4 MS. There are 4 TYPES of MS, but would think that anyone who has MS would be able to tell you what type they have (relapsing remitting, primary progressive, secondary progressive, progressive relapsing) but to my understanding you don't go through all 4 types, so they wouldn't be considered stages.

                      I've heard of stage 4 cancer--that's what first came to mind when I saw stage 4.

                      Honestly from what you've written it sounds like she is addicted to the narcotics and is using her lost medical records as an excuse to get the Rx for everything she is on.

                      Also, the "lost" jewelry and debit cards also sounds like drug addict behavior--used and sold to purchase drugs. I had a coworker who went through something like that with her daughter. Strange charges for fuel on her credit cards (daughter was filling up friends gas tanks and they would give her $20 cash which she would use for drugs.)

                      I would agree with you that she should not be around your kids, or in your home because I would not trust her to not steal stuff to sell. (this could also be a reason why she wanted to get closer to you--easier access to your belongings?)

                      I would encourage you to have your dad go to her dr. appointments with her--see if all those Rx and claims are legitimate.

                      I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but as a nurse and mom and daughter, I would suggest you follow your gut feelings on this.

                      I would also be concerned about your dad's finances--if she really is a drug addict, she could be manipulating him into using his money/retirement funds/assets/etc. to fund her addiction under the guise of "treatments" for one thing or another.

                      I would maybe write a list of things that concern you--just facts--not emotions, and present it to your dad. Ask him to look at those things objectively and see if things are adding up or not.

                      I hope I'm wrong, but these are all the things that are jumping out at me.

                      Thanks for your input! Yeah the way he says "Stage 4" is like it's Stage 4 cancer. Things have become even more strange if that's even possible lol. Come to find out the ulcers on her face and body are from "mites" my Nana was told. She said my Dad wasn't too clear about it, whether it is bedbugs or scabies, not sure. But I guess he got treated with a shot and cream. Also, they have been kicked out of their apartment due to her son for some reason (this was the drug addict one per his report and the one that stole his truck and was arrested.) He said they kicked him out and had him arrested but he somehow got out of jail. So now they are living in a hotel and have been asking my aunt and uncle multiple times for help with money for food.. My dad hasn't told me about the mites, the lack of food, the change in apartment, none of that.

                      I agree with the financial thing you mentioned. I mean he even told me he listed her as half of his life insurance policy and the other half to me to split with my little sister. They are not married but "common-law married". They don't want to get married because she would lose her benefits through the military from her late husband. I do want to ask him if he has ever been to a doctor's appt with her or has physically seen her records.

                      I went to my dermatologist today for my own appt and asked about a pic I had of her face with the ulcers and redness. The derm said she didn't think it was mites, and if it WAS then there definitely was another component to it because it looked pretty severe to be mites and usually they are in like the webbing of fingers, belly button, groin. So I don't know.

                      He told me a few days ago his phone got stolen "by a friend." He was messaging me through her FB messenger which I thought was strange. Why not use his account? I asked what my 2 favorite childhood stuffed animal were called because I wanted to make sure it was him and not her pretending. It really was him...that or she happened to ask him in a side convo at the time.

                      My son's 6th birthday is coming up next month, and of course the holidays. I feel physically sick when I think about her and I'm trying to get a hold of him to talk to him about my feelings because she isn't welcome around our kids. My husband agrees. I love my dad, but I need to tell him how I feel. He says he wants to come and see the baby and my son. Definitely not right now because I don't know if they have everything properly washed and sanitized if it truly is mites. How scary!

                      Once I talk to him, I know it will open a huge can of worms and I'm honestly a little afraid of what will happen with her after that. I can see her going crazy and doing something weird.

                      I'll update though. Hoping he gets another phone soon because this is eating me up.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        At what point are you considered "end stage" and in the final stage before death? Sorry to be so blunt about it, and I hope it doesn't come off insensitive. I asked my dad just now what he meant by Stage 4 MS and that's what he said in reply. He said 3-5 years to live...

                        Is this stage always accompanied by pretty much needing 24/7 care? Trouble using the bathroom, eating etc? Because she doesn't have that which is why I'm confused. He told a family member they needed extra cash to fill her pain med scripts to pay out of pocket for it because the insurance wouldn't fill it at that moment and she was withdrawing. Things are strange.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I also forgot to add, she is in her late 40s. Don't know if that matters, but I know I've read that typically the life expectancy with those with MS is about 5 is years less than avg expectancy with someone who doesn't have MS, which would be in the 70s

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by RN516 View Post
                            At what point are you considered "end stage" and in the final stage before death? Sorry to be so blunt about it, and I hope it doesn't come off insensitive. I asked my dad just now what he meant by Stage 4 MS and that's what he said in reply. He said 3-5 years to live...
                            MS isn't "terminal", just "chronic". It's not nice enough to kill you.

                            Comment

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