Hi All,
This seems to have turned into a rant followed by a request for advice. My apologies for ranting in my first post. That said, wow was it cathartic to write this all out.
I have spent the last few days lurking here on the forums reading stories from so many other carepartners and am happy to have found such a great resource.
My wife was diagnosed 6 weeks ago - just 2 weeks before our wedding day. It has been quite the roller coaster in dealing with the emotions from the DX immediately followed by the wedding. We were back at the neuro a few days after the ceremony to start treatment, so that 'honeymoon period' never really had a chance to take hold.
I have found myself struggling as of late due to the toll the DX has already taken on our relationship. The symptoms from the initial exaserbation have largely subsided, but the emotional toll has not eased.
Over the past few weeks my wife has become much more withdrawn and it kills me that I can't help her. She spends more time in bed due to the fatigue, does not want to share or talk about how she is doing emotionally, and has pulled back significantly with regards to intimacy.
I have been in the corner with her since this all started 6 weeks ago. I spent all 5 days in the hospital with her when we received the initial diagnosis, even sleeping in the room when she asked me to stay. I have been to each and every neuro appointment and have been active with the doctors (at her request) in asking questions. She leaned on me when evaluating treatment options and we had great discussions about which drug we felt the most comfortable with.
But now she is withdrawn and I don't know what to do.
She is my girl. My best friend. My wife. And I miss her.
It kills me that she doesn't want to talk about how she's coping any more. That she's not interested in physical intimacy. That regardless of how hard I try to be patient, understanding, and supportive, she continues to pull away. It's as if she's a different person as of late.
Surely I'm not the first spouse to go through this. My question to others is how did you cope? Does it get better? How do you support someone when they pull away?
I'm distraught that I've seemingly lost the woman I love and am so very hopeful that others who have been there have some helpful input.
This seems to have turned into a rant followed by a request for advice. My apologies for ranting in my first post. That said, wow was it cathartic to write this all out.
I have spent the last few days lurking here on the forums reading stories from so many other carepartners and am happy to have found such a great resource.
My wife was diagnosed 6 weeks ago - just 2 weeks before our wedding day. It has been quite the roller coaster in dealing with the emotions from the DX immediately followed by the wedding. We were back at the neuro a few days after the ceremony to start treatment, so that 'honeymoon period' never really had a chance to take hold.
I have found myself struggling as of late due to the toll the DX has already taken on our relationship. The symptoms from the initial exaserbation have largely subsided, but the emotional toll has not eased.
Over the past few weeks my wife has become much more withdrawn and it kills me that I can't help her. She spends more time in bed due to the fatigue, does not want to share or talk about how she is doing emotionally, and has pulled back significantly with regards to intimacy.
I have been in the corner with her since this all started 6 weeks ago. I spent all 5 days in the hospital with her when we received the initial diagnosis, even sleeping in the room when she asked me to stay. I have been to each and every neuro appointment and have been active with the doctors (at her request) in asking questions. She leaned on me when evaluating treatment options and we had great discussions about which drug we felt the most comfortable with.
But now she is withdrawn and I don't know what to do.
She is my girl. My best friend. My wife. And I miss her.
It kills me that she doesn't want to talk about how she's coping any more. That she's not interested in physical intimacy. That regardless of how hard I try to be patient, understanding, and supportive, she continues to pull away. It's as if she's a different person as of late.
Surely I'm not the first spouse to go through this. My question to others is how did you cope? Does it get better? How do you support someone when they pull away?
I'm distraught that I've seemingly lost the woman I love and am so very hopeful that others who have been there have some helpful input.
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