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Should a person with MS give up on finding love?

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    Should a person with MS give up on finding love?

    I am single and was dianosed with MS in April of 2009. Since then its been hard for me in finding a relationship with a person who understands me having MS and wants to take time to understand my disease. I had to end a relationship because he was not understanding of my disease. He was very abusive verberly, emotionally and sometimes phsically. At first when we were in the begining of our relationship he was so sweet and seem to be understanding. I thought I found my prince. Then somewhere towards the end of our relationship he just changed. The reason for him changing like that, could it have been that he hated that I had MS? I don't know....While I would love to find a meaningful loving relationship. I just feel there is no hope in that area of my life. I just feel like giving up on finding love.
    Kimmy

    #2
    no, never give up , if my wife who has MS gave up we would never had met and been married 20 years now Just be yourself and hang in there...

    Comment


      #3
      I;m sorry that you had to have this painful experience, Kimmy. No one should have to go thru abusive behavior and Never under any circumstances - MS or not!

      It sounds like maybe he was taking his anger out on the disease - ???

      Please, please never give up!!! Believe me, there is another Prince out there waiting for you! It might not feel that way right now as you go thru this confusing time. Take it from this old grandma who has gone thru many painful (and abusive) relationships in my day. Thankfully, I'm am now with my Prince.

      Take the time right now to focus on your health. You are your best friend in this! Be well
      1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
      Administrator Message Boards/Moderator

      Comment


        #4
        Thank you both so much for responding to my message. Im going to try not to give up on finding the love I want in my life. I just wish I had a little more confidence in myself.
        Kimmy

        Comment


          #5
          Never give up on finding love Kimmy! Even more importantly, never give up on finding friendship, which could lead to love.

          With regard to your abusive relationship, you had the self worth needed to end it, you are more self confident than you think or you would still be there! Keep your chin up, you are so deserving of a loving relationship by the sound of it.
          Jen
          RRMS 2005, Copaxone since 2007
          "I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am."

          Comment


            #6
            I am probably the last person to give advice about finding love. My best friend is someone I have fallen for. He and I met at univserity four years ago and since then I have been practially adopted by his whole family. Long story short it is an abusive relationship. Not phyically but emotionally. He knows how I feel and will ask me to come over only to leave me behind with his mother while he goes out with some girls. I once drove him home after we went out and he had a few drinks - and he made me wait outside in the car while he went to visit a girl he knew. He knows how I feel for him because I worked really hard and through some connections in the USA (I live in Canada) I got him in touch with his favorite band ( mine too) and got him back stage passes and inviations to meet up with the band members where they live. Last September we traveled to San Fransisco and hung out with them at their home.

            All this time and all that he knew he just used me. Right now he is living with a girl and her 2 year old child. He moved in after knowing her for 2 months.

            All this to say I know how you feel. No matter if you have MS or not - love is hard to find. Sometimes we are lucky and when we are not looking it happens. I think everyone diserves love including you. Do not let MS take away that too. I don't know you but I can tell from your post you are a caring, smart, and good person. Your ex doesn't deserve a person like you. Maybe this is life trying to tell you you were with the wrong "one". Typing this out, I am seeing that I am in love with the wrong one for me too. It is hard. Your heart has huge part in who you fall for. Sometimes it would be nice to be able to have a switch and turn it off or on - but it doesn't work that way.

            I am sorry this is so long. Just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. Finding love is hard. But when you do it will be awesome. Good luck and please don't give up. I won't either. haha
            "A candle looses nothing from lighting anoher candle".

            Comment


              #7
              Of course not. There are people who are caring.

              But I do want to give another perspective: Be careful to not talk about your MS a lot. Even my wife got tired of me talking about being tired, my fears, my pains, etc.

              I don't mention things unless it's really necessary. Make sure a potential love interest doesn't know your symptoms better than your heart.

              And I disagree with the whole Prince idea. I think you will end up disappointed if you expect a prince. But of course, never tolerate any abusive. You deserve to be loved and there is someone out there who will love you if you love them.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by BigA View Post
                But I do want to give another perspective: Be careful to not talk about your MS a lot. Even my wife got tired of me talking about being tired, my fears, my pains, etc.
                That is so true! I have a family member who complains nonstop about every little issue they have. After awhile, it starts to wear you down. I notice my mood goes downhill quickly when I am with them. I find myself "checking out" and not even listening after awhile.

                When I was diagnosed with MS, I must have had this imprinted in my mind because I rarely complain. I have some issue or another every day but to look at me, you would never know. I figure, I will always have one issue or the other & I can either complain nonstop & make everyone around me miserable or instead just accept it & try to enjoy the company.
                Diagnosed: May 2012
                Medications: Avonex - stopped 12/14
                Plegridy - starting 12/14

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by BigA View Post
                  You deserve to be loved and there is someone out there who will love you if you love them.
                  My definition of a "Prince"!
                  1st sx '89 Dx '99 w/RRMS - SP since 2010
                  Administrator Message Boards/Moderator

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I think it's already been touched on, but it probably isn't the MS that's a direct problem to finding a loving relationship, unless the MS is seriously debilitating. What has worked for me is to ensure that problems don't stem from the symptoms of MS, like getting out of shape or becoming someone who complains about their problems. It's how we deal with MS that can be an issue, not the MS itself.

                    If I felt like my relationship crashed as a result of MS, I would take that as a time to be critical about myself and forego being defensive. What about my MS was the problem? How did I act due to symptoms? Was there something I could have done to be/feel more attractive, interesting, and productive?

                    Be a great person, and relationships will be drawn to you. Good luck!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      DO NOT EVER give up on finding love!! You will find it when you least expect it. YES, even if you have MS. I actually found someone (they also have MS)
                      Peace to all,
                      LM
                      RRMS 11/11/2005, SPMS 20011 (guess I 'graduated')

                      Comment

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