jealousy

[rocky282]

How do you deal with jealousy? Ok, let me clarify. My husband is also disabled, but I'm the one with the MS. I don't have many friends up here and I really shouldnt' be driving with all my symptoms, so it seems the only times I get out of the house are for doctors apts. He goes out a few times a month and meets with his veteran friends. I am starting to really hate him going out and really treating him badly when he does. I think most of that stems around the fact that he is refusing to help me around the house. I have to practically chain him to the kitchen counter to get him to do the dishes and he never finishes the job, he'll load the dish washer and not run it, and leave it half full and half the dishes still in the sink. He doesn't vacume or pickup or clean. I mean I KNOW he has problems too, but when is enough enough!

Any recomendations for how to deal with the situation? I don't want to leave him, but I'm so tired of being in a bad mood all the time because it feels like it is me and our 3 kids (5, 4, and 2) trying to do everything and he is just acting like a big teenager doing whatever he wants and damn the conciquences.

[Aneres]

With my guy, who is the one with MS. Before we knew this, I had to make out a list of things he is suppose to do and what I'm suppose to do just so it gets done. He always forgets even when its as simple as cleaning up after himself. Taking the trash out when its full, when its overflowing with trash its a big clear sign that it needs to be done (he still has a major problem with these). Cleaning the cat box everyday. I have asthma so it bothers me and he doesn't want me having asthma attacks plus I have back and knee problems so he doesn't want me in pain. So we traded off and I clean the turtle tank instead (think it was a bit too demanding for him). Now we broke it down more as I clean the tank while he cleans the filter so that the job gets done faster.

I don't want to come off as being mean, like I expect him to do everything. He can do the things on his list most of the time and at times I feel I'm not doing enough but my problem is being an insomniac (and have PCOS), I'm always trying to get sleep or so tried. Now there are times that when his MS is bothering him, I then take over his duties for the day. That would be the trade off.

So I guess my only advice is if you are able to. Sit down with him (maybe add your kids later if they are doing chores too). Try to figure out what chores would suit who best on what the demands of the chore is compared to the disability. Or switch every week so its not the same thing over and over again. Express the fact as a family, everyone needs to help out unless he wishes to live in a pig pen.

[Skinny]

Well I have MS and my Hubby comes and Go's as he pleases. Shopping, work Driving around, going to pubs.
I normaly stay home with the kids all the time and in bed or doing house hold stuff. When he gets home and everything isnt how he likes it he yells at me and the kids
Its not fair sometimes I just try not to think about it but one time I fell and called him to come help me up and he didnt for hrs. I can never forgive him for that one.

Sometimes I wish I could dress up do my hair put on some heals and go have a girls night out. maybe make him jelous for once huh!