Scared but trying to stay strong

[glenski]

My wife was diagnosed with MS about 3 yrs ago. We talk about it, I help her with her nightly injections and I try to be supportive and helpful (tho I feel I have no idea what I am doing or saying). I admit I need more knowledge but the truth is-as much as I love my wife I am scared to death of this! Am I just selfish? I have my own physical ailments that are bothersome but seem so petty compared to her situation that I ignore or worsen my condition to make sure she is fine. It's confusing and frightening. Anybody ever feel this way?

glenski

[Jules A]

Hi and welcome,
I think it is perfectly natural to be scared by something like a MS diagnosis.

It sounds like you both will be facing some physical issues in the future as will most aging couples. I hope you are able to grow stronger from this experience and that neither of you have it too bad.

[kirkb]

my wife's symptoms started in 1993 and we didn't get the full MS DX until many months later. We went thru years with different neuros and hospitalizations until we found the right caring DR. Things happen that you can't control and it seems like you are falling into a well and can't stop the slide nor see the bottom. Feeling helpless is par for the course as I did years ago. Learn as much as you can and talk to friends/family. It can get difficult and complicated and the stress can greatly interfere with happiness and mood. Find a balance somehow.

[glenski]

Thank Jules n Kirk

Thank you Jules n Kirk for the quick response. You both have some insight that I don't, at least didn't. I need to keep in mind that in order to keep helping my wife, I need to be healthy enough to do so. As long as I do not let my brain wander too far ahead I know we can work thru this. Thanks again.

[rikihalo]

Agreed...

It scares and frustrates me that MS is different for everyone. I'd love to have a plan, to know exactly how my husband's MS will progress, but that just isn't how it works. And, while family/friends may love you both and want to help, many of them have no idea what she (or you) is going through.

I think it's wonderful that you're so supportive, but don't forget that you need to take care of yourself, too. More often than I care to admit, I've downplayed not feeling well to keep my husband from worrying about me... but doing so usually makes me more ill, takes me out for longer, and causes him even more stress. Taking some time to care for yourself isn't selfish, it's sane.