2023 was not the best year

[lukeduke]

Well now that 2023 is over I can vent about it. 2023 was the year that I finally fully gave up on working. I know that I always say that work is a dirty word. I had been trying for years to get on SSDI. I didn't want to quit working. I miss going to work and having my own money to handle.
Once I got the SSDI I eventually got the letter that showed how much back pay I was getting. They also approved me for SSI for a little bit. I have received a little bit of the back pay. My family thinks that I don't know how to handle my money. I can do it but they won't allow me to. I know that I didn't handle the back pay the best I could but I loaned it to someone who is near and dear to me. They are on SSDI too and they live in a house with five people. Two are on Social Security, one is trying to get SSI, and two work.
I did get rid of a credit card that I owed a lot on. It had actually been charged off and they were trying to settle it for less.
I was hoping to get my SSDI but my Dad got an account setup so that it has his name for the benefit of me. Now he gets my SSDI check and shares my money as he sees fit. He was not happy when I had to go to the dentist and we had to pay an arm and a leg. He was like I wrote them a check last time. I tried to explain to him that the check last time was for a previous visit. Then he was trying to look at the statement that they gave me to see where the numbers came from. The insurance didn't pay for everything from the last visit so I had a balance.
I know he loves me and will not do anything that's not for my benefit. I just wish he would give me some of my money. He got mad when I asked for money to pay the light bill.

[Mamabug]

Sorry for your rough year.

Yes; enen though employment can be difficult, it can also be a struggle to adjust to giving it up.

You said your family does not allow you to handle your own money. Do they have guardianship?

[pennstater]

Sorry to hear, but glad your approval went thru. Since you are frustrated with your father's guardianship of your money, maybe you can work with him to show you can handle finances.

Do you have a budget, know what your bills/expenses are? If not, work on setting one up that shows what the expense is, when due, and if a routine monthly expense, and then pro-rated to the month for quarterly and annual expenses. Also list variable expenses like food, gas if you have a car, doctor appointments, prescriptions, etc... At the end, you will be able to see if any discretionary income left and also show your father that you may be able to handle your finances. Even if he doesn't agree, he will have a better idea of what all your expenses are and when due so he is not surprised, and less prone to getting mad when you ask.

Lots of luck to you.

[lukeduke]

They do not have guardianship now. I wouldn't put it past my dad. He got himself set up as my payee. I had set it up at first so that if I needed a payee it would be him. I had to get a hed pep for my infusion site and he went in with me to see the NP. He had her write it up that I needed a payee.

[pennstater]

Your mentioned you know he would only do what is best for you, so it seems he feels you needed him to be the payee. It could be because of the way you said you handled the back pay and your credit cards. Since he is the payee, you could work to prove to him you can be proactive and handle your finances.

[lukeduke]

Yeah. I didn't handle the back pay as good as I could. I paid off one credit card that had actually been charged off and they were trying to come back to get the money. I'm also trying to get the others paid off. You know when I was 26 just after I was diagnosed with MS I opened a new bank account and when they ran my credit as they do when opening an account were shocked that my score was as high as it was. I also helped out a friend some. I probably helped them more than I should. They are going to pay back every penny I loaned them. It just may take a while since there are 5 people in that house with only one person working right now. There are two on Social Security, one working, one looking for work, one working with the lawyer to get SSI. That one didn't work enough to get SSDI.

[pennstater]

Is there any chance your SSDI payments do not cover all your expenses? Just thinking why your Dad might get upset when you ask for money. Or maybe he just needs a listing of when your bills are due each month and the amount, so he is not surprised?

Hope things get better for you and your friend repays the loan over time. Maybe they can start paying even a small amount each month so your Dad sees a little repayment. If they do, just make sure you keep track of the payments made.