MS WHIRLWIND

[palmtree]

I meant to introduce myself in June but everything has been happening so fast, there has been no time or energy. I chose my avatar because a there was a beautiful little palm tree outside my apartment and it was growing new fronds every day. I loved watching it grow.

I had just gotten my avatar set up when I went outside and THE PALM TREE WAS GONE! I felt somehow that this was a bad omen and I was plenty angry at my neighbor with the chain saw.

To back up, I was given a probable MS dx in May 2010 [ 3 brain lesions and a negative LP] I went to a neuro because my right leg was feeling weak when I walked. She said she didn't think I had ms so when I read the results of the MRI I felt like the world was spinning and sinking at the same time.

I felt better after my pcp gave me a pep talk. She said "you're going to be OK". I started Avonex and braved that 1 1/2" needle for 5 weeks.

Then the PALM TREE. The day after the palm tree disappeared I woke up with my right eye completely red. Then I looked out the window and the bright sunlight made everything go white in that eye.

Went to emergency and the doctor said it was just an allergy and he was going to give me some drops. I told him I had ms and was worried about ON. He begrudgingly called my neuro at 2am and I was admitted to the hospital for 5 days on solu-medrol.

After I got out of the hospital, I saw my pcp and told her my eye still hurt. She said she didn't think the Avonex was working and put me on 3 more days of steroids through home health.

I can't describe the way I felt but it was like everything was slippery and I was wrapped in silk. I tried to carry on and went to my mother-in-law's 80th birthday party. When I got home, it got really scary. I tried to swallow and my throat felt paralyzed. I tried to step with my right foot and it felt like it wasn't there. I grabbed a stool so I wouldn't fall. My doctors weren't on call and I didn't dare go to the hospital at the mercy of the hospital staff so I took a high dose of prednisone on the advice of the "on call" Dr.

MRI showed 3 more active lesions! My dx went from probable to secondary progressive overnight.

I will have my second Tysabri infusion this Friday. I think it's helping. I feel more "normal" now.

But I'm a little lost. Where do I go from here? Before all this started I was getting my credential to teach English to adults. I want to keep working toward that but when I read the posts of all the exhausted teachers on this site I wonder if it's realistic. I guess we just have to keep living in spite of the uncertainty.

I'm hoping that the whirlwind is over, at least for a while. Good news: I planted some palm tree seeds in pots and they are just starting to sprout. Maybe this is a good omen.

[jenniferautumn]

wow

I am sorry you are having such a tough time!

Regardless of the disease, you can not stop being you. Try to learn how to sculpt your dreams to fit your life. If you want to teach English then do it! It may not be in a traditional setting but you can still do it. usually the community has some sort of ESL classes that are offered and this may be an opportunity for you to really help some people with out adversely affecting your health with an unmanageable schedule. Maybe you could even record a CD with guidance for learning English and sell it with in the community as well as online.

My diagnosis has made me re-evaluate everything. My goals and dreams seam to have taken on a new meaning and the way I am going about accomplishing them may be a bit different then planned but that's what life is right? Adaptation.

I hope the trees that you have planted grow a strong root system, as I hope you do as well.

Try to never forget that you are YOU. You are not the disease.

[KoKo]

Hello Palmtree

Welcome to MS World - nice to meet you!

Sounds like you could use a supportive and informative site like this one. Feel free to ask questions, and we'll help if we are able. Browse the various forums and interesting topics. Start a thread if you want to

MRI showed 3 more active lesions! My dx went from probable to secondary progressive overnight.

It's my understanding that Secondary Progressive MS is diagnosed when there is a transition from having Relapsing Remitting MS for several years, to a gradual progressive process with few relapses. I'm just wondering since you were only diagnosed since May 2010. In any case, this disease in unpredictable in all ways, and I'm certainly not a doctor.

I will have my second Tysabri infusion this Friday. I think it's helping. I feel more "normal" now.

Glad to hear you are taking Tysarbi and you are feeling better.

I want to keep working toward that but when I read the posts of all the exhausted teachers on this site I wonder if it's realistic. I guess we just have to keep living in spite of the uncertainty.

Yes, you've got that right! You may not experience severe exhaustion. We are all affected by MS in our own unique way.

Good news: I planted some palm tree seeds in pots and they are just starting to sprout. Maybe this is a good omen.

That's the spirit! None of us has a crystal ball. We just try to move forward, doing the best we can with what we have!

Best wishes to you

Take care,
KoKo

[palmtree]

THANK YOU!

Both your responses moved me to tears. I haven't cried until now, I just felt so understood. Yes, I will pick up where I left off and finish the steps towards my ESL credential. I was hoping this would be gainful but maybe I could volunteer at the night classes. Yes. I will keep moving forward, even if there are roadblocks.

As far as the diagnosis from RRMS to SPMS overnight, I too, question it but I'm keeping myself in a hopeful ignorance because I want the Tysabri to work. As I understand it, they don't give it for PP. Am I right?

Anyway, thank you to all of you who make this site possible. It has helped me so much and I hope I can be of help too.

[hunterd]

palmtree, my dr proclaimed my ms spms from the start, so i went to an ms clinic (mellon center), and they said the same thing!!!! how do you get to second without a first? anyway, tysabri completely stopped all lesion activity as seen on mri, so i`m a beliver
as far as the career goes, only you can determine if you can continue down that path. i will tell you that i worked full time for 10 years after dx. some carry on with life and never bat an eye!! REACH FOR THE STARS!!!! get that degree and go from there good luck.

dave

[jenniferautumn]

Good to hear

I am glad that you have decided to not give up on your goals! We are here to help and support! If you want to vent about anything! If you feel like giving up! If you are simply upset, if you need a little push, or if you have had some sort of accomplishment, we want to know and offer advice, support or a simple pat on the back!

You can do this. Everyday may bring us face to face with some new challenge, how we stand up to that challenge is what matters!

Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing!