My 56th birthday was yesterday

[JerryD]

I just felt like putting this down in writing. So here goes.
I turned 56 years old yesterday and I have been in HELL for 6years since I was diagnosed with PPMS. I have been to many trips to the ER and have found that I have progressively lost the use of my right leg ( and I walk with a cane). i can no longer walk any kind of distance and I have both bowel and urinary malfunction. I have a problem with my eyesight and I don't ever seem to get restful sleep. I have seen all of the appropriate ndoctors that have been suggested by my PCP. I have been tested in all kinds of ways and by many different machines.
I can say without any doubt that I am miserable. I am living a miserable existance, even though the people around me try very hard to make me comfortable. I just want to say that this disease has made my life a living HELL. I only hope and pray that there will be a 'cure' for this disease soon. I wish that everyone who reads this post prays for the end of MS, too. Merry Christmas to all.

[bree2013]

My prayers go out to you

Jerry, reading your post brought me to tears. I've read your posts over the almost 2 years I've been a member and you've been struggling for a long time.

Yes, I pray there's a cure soon for this MiSerable disease and it eventually becomes something that can be "nipped" in the bud before it progresses and gets out of control.

I pray you and your family are able to deal with the physical & mental stress this causes. That you're able to find some sort of relief from the anguish & pain you're enduring.

Jerry, I'm going to wish you a Happy Birthday. I know it's not one of your best, but I hope and pray your next one will be so much better.

Bree

[Jennagain]

Although I know you are suffering I wish you a happy birthday. Sorry to here you are not doing well. I hope you have a good holiday season with friends and loved ones and I wish you better days ahead.

[Karenkay]

Oh Jerry,

Your post touched me, deeply. I agonize with your frustration and loss. I have said to my hubby many times over the years how I go though the steps of grief every time I lose just one more piece of me to MS.

I will be 55 in two weeks ... I suffer much of the same problems. My brain just doesn't work right anymore. I wake up every morning and lay in bed a few moments to test to see if things work the same as when I went to bed.

So what am I trying to say? ... you are not alone in your misery.

[DebbieB]

JerryD,

I can relate to you and your situation way too well and my heart is breaking for you.

I'm sorry you are so miserable. I wish there was something I could say that would make it better, but you and i both know that there's little to be said or done.

Just know that I'm thinking of you, and have just said a prayer for you.

Happy (belated) birthday and I hope you have a peaceful and Merry Christmas.

Debbie

[Temagami]

Happy Belated Birthday Greetings.

Sorry that MS has eroded your way of life and that you´ve hit dead ends for addressing some of the sx. I do hold hope that there is going to be a breakthrough - soon. The basic research on restoring myelin is already on its way.

Writing songs and working with kids is what helps me- songs let out the sorrow and kids "forget" I have MS and treat me like any ole Joe. Sometimes I wish they´d remember the invisible struggles, but the other day I realized that they are aware- I let out an "ouch" because my knee joint did not bend in alignment and immediately was questioned with worry in the voice. Maybe they are the ones who truly have my back.

Anywho- I make crocheted crowns for kids undergoing chemo and whenever I am in a low state, get out the needle and start crocheting- it reminds me that I am "relatively" in an "ok" place.

Hope you made a celebration of your special day- my elderly neighbor whose wife predeceased him would say to me, "Consider the alternative."

[Marco]

Jerry - Happy Belated Birthday! If we were to meet, words would largely be unnecessary. There just isn't much to say. What can be said is, "I respect you, I care for you, I hope for you and I pray for you."

I hope 2015, brings you closer to having grace, peace and joy independent of your circumstances. I also hope that 2015, brings your situation into control, that real solutions will be developed for PPMS, and you receive both comfort and respite.

Again, Happy Belated.

[JerryD]

Thanks for the replies, fellow MSers. Your posts are very considerate. I pray for all of you. Merry Christmas.

[J-Bo]

JerryD, I'm so sorry for you and me too. Sometimes it needs to be acknowledged that it IS miserable. There are so many people who expect us to be some kind of heroes just to make themselves feel better. But you know what? We kind of are, but not in any way that they'd ever understand.