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feeling like I'm going crazy......sigh

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    feeling like I'm going crazy......sigh

    Hello,
    My name is Jamie and I've recently been on this long drawn out quest for just wanting to know what is wrong with me. Sadly I'm not even sure that most dr's now a days can truly say they know what they are doing...

    Well i first noticed my symptoms after the birth of my son. First my entire right leg went completely numb I couldn't even stand on it without falling to the floor. Eventually, about two days later, it just turned into the tingling feeling, but I could stand on it. Then i had what felt like electricity starting at the curve of my back down the backside of both of my legs.

    So my pcp sent me for a mri of my lower back. Which came back as just a bulging disc, an annular tear and a lesion. Well, a few months go by,it goes now where with dr we just let it go, as of now I'm completely depressed for no godly reason, I just feel cloudy like I'm walking around in this thick fog. There are times when people talk to me and I hear what they said but I don't understand what they told me, and I think to myself, I know I know the words they just said to me but why don't I understand them. I never use to have this problem, I was on the national honor society.

    Then the whole right side of my head and down my right shoulder/arm and hand go completely numb. I go to the dr and let him know, he immediately schedules me for a brain mri because of course he is thinking hum lets make sure its not a stroke. So They do the scan and it comes back with 18 white matter lesions, and an 8mm cyst on my pineal gland, and a half empty sala, which Is the pituitary gland seems to be not working properly i guess.

    Of course they are now drawing blood to rule out a whole crap load of ***, did you get bit by a tic, blah blah blah, over and over again. In the course of this long drawn out testing, my vision starts jumping where the entire image that I see starts shifting from left to right, like there is a hesitation, or an absence in the flow of the image that I see, I really dont know how to explain it.

    For example, I had to do this, lets say your driving down a two lane road. All the sudden the on coming traffic jumps in your lane, then back out of your lane, then back in your lane, but in reality you pull over and realize it wasnt the car it was your eyeballs playing some whacked out trick on you, along with a minor ache in your eye.

    Well, I get freaked out go to my pcp he schedules me for an ophthalmologist, I see them my pupils are two different sizes, I fail their visual field test and they eventually tell me that I have had an episode of optical neuritis. Which eventually went away after 11 days of pure torture. He also runs this test on me that made me crazy dizzy, and said that I have internuclear ophthalmoplegia.

    So long story short I have finally gotten in to see a neurologist and they say your suffering from migraines, but I never have a head ache, but because all of your tests are inconclusive lets run a spinal tap then another brain mri in a year just to make sure its not ms.

    I'm just a little frustrated/confused, cause my ophthamologist neurologist says i have a mild case of ms, and my neurologist says he is full of crap I have migraines...o boy... why can't they just agree...I'm so tired of feeling like I'm going crazy, cause I wasn't like this 5 years ago, and now I feel off balance all the time, have twitching all over my body, sometimes when I try to sit completely still i can feel my upper body shaking like I have parkensins or something, I forget if I even seen or talked to someone, I have a hard time talking and understanding when people talk to me...I feel like I'm going crazy...

    ** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **

    #2
    You are not alone. The diagnosis process can be long, drawn-out and disheartening. It's been almost 2 years for me. Others here have gone much longer. I hope this is not the case for you.

    But ... There are so many mimics. If you have a mimic, they require different treatments, and ms DMTs can worsen those disease processes.

    It takes most of us at least a year to become "okay" with the process. Okay is relative lol. I started seeing a counsellor about a year ago and she has helped me navigate this. I also went to a psychiatrist, referred by my then-family doctor who was starting to think mental health. Best referral I've had. His note has helped me, plus has been available in my electronic record for other docs to see.

    My general neuro (and a stroke guy) initially dxed me with migraine. At this point my ms neuro has ruled that out. Vascular, ischemic change, myasthenia gravis, ALS, physical spine issues, cardiac issues, neuromyelitis optica have all been considered and ruled out (as far as I know -- I've seen a lot of specialists.). Plus the things that could be ruled out by bloodwork.

    There may be still more. I find it ironic that my ms neuro is now ruling out thngs more rare than ms.

    I have lesions that are atypical and initially considered too small (although a resident let it slip that they are following one);several relapses now but no supporting lab results. Every single medical professional I see thinks ms now; all of them have "released" me back to my ms specialist. Unfortunately he's the only one that can dx me .

    I hope, for you, it doesn't take a long time for your neuro to figure out what's going on. Just know that many neuros won't mention ms until they are certain. And know that you aren't crazy although this process can make you feel it .

    Sorry you're in limbo as well. There's a special chat for those of us patiently waiting -- information is stickied at the top of the limbo landers message board .

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      #3
      Sorry that you are in limbo, it is very exhausting to be going from from Dr.to Dr.and test to test. I hope you find answers soon.
      RRMS diagnosed 2005
      Rebif 2005-2008
      Copaxone 2009-2014
      SPMS 2014

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        #4
        Incredibly sorry for you! It's a real pain in the arse! I understand the thick fog you describe. It's a real physical feeling. You just feel messed up, like you've done to many drugs lol. You just can't remember stuff. You can't focus. You can't organize anything. You can't articulate your thoughts. It really sucks. I'm only 19 years old and I have to figure out what I need to do with my life. I want to weld but I can't even go to college if I'm so messed up all the time. It's so bad I can't remain aware of anything around me to even drive. My hand eye coordination gets screwed up too. Migraines does sound stupid too me, if that's what you thought. I can't even remember what you said, but you know what my doctor told me. "Depression". That's more like we give up on you. Plus are anti-depressants going to make me feel smart and unfoggy again or just make me feel better about feeling like crap. I understand how you feel. Wish I could give you a big hug!

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by jmwhite2286 View Post
          I'm just a little frustrated/confused, cause my ophthamologist neurologist says i have a mild case of ms, and my neurologist says he is full of crap I have migraines...o boy... why can't they just agree...I'm so tired of feeling like I'm going crazy, cause I wasn't like this 5 years ago, and now I feel off balance all the time, have twitching all over my body, sometimes when I try to sit completely still i can feel my upper body shaking like I have parkensins or something, I forget if I even seen or talked to someone, I have a hard time talking and understanding when people talk to me...I feel like I'm going crazy...
          I'm sorry you're still in Limbo -- it can be very frustrating. As someone else mentioned, there is a Limbo Landers Message Board that may help you while you're in the diagnostic process.

          Hope you find answers soon.
          Bree

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