Hi all,
In the grand scheme of things, I really ought to shut up and stop feeling sorry for myself. I had no idea that I had MS, even though I apparently have signs of old and new lesions on the cerebral and cervical MRIs. Without going into tons of detail, two months ago I went to the ER for something unrelated. The CT showed something abnormal, the first MRI provided more detail...the rest is history.
I started Copaxone in June and have been going through the grief whirlwind. I'm in my late 20s, super-active, very job and life-oriented...and the part of this situation that I struggle with the most is my inability to handle the uncertainty. I feel great now, but instead of focusing on that I keep getting hung up on fears about tomorrow. The what-if's get to me. (Where will I feel it first? What if it's more than I can handle? What if I have to cut back on the things I love?) I want to find a support group but haven't had a lot of luck finding other low and asymptomatic young adults, but you must be out there!
I'm totally, completely scared. No one really "gets" it, either. My parents think it's silly for me to worry about the future, but how can I not when I feel like the rug's been yanked out from under me? My husband is amazing, but I want to find other people who really understand what it's like to feel like your whole world's been flipped upside down, and you have to keep going. I am going -- really well most days, thank God -- but there are days where the fear or the anger just leave me stewing.
Ugh. Normally I'm pretty positive, so I apologize. Like I said, I really can't complain -- which is why I get mad at myself for doing just that. Thanks, though, and I'm glad to find this group!
In the grand scheme of things, I really ought to shut up and stop feeling sorry for myself. I had no idea that I had MS, even though I apparently have signs of old and new lesions on the cerebral and cervical MRIs. Without going into tons of detail, two months ago I went to the ER for something unrelated. The CT showed something abnormal, the first MRI provided more detail...the rest is history.
I started Copaxone in June and have been going through the grief whirlwind. I'm in my late 20s, super-active, very job and life-oriented...and the part of this situation that I struggle with the most is my inability to handle the uncertainty. I feel great now, but instead of focusing on that I keep getting hung up on fears about tomorrow. The what-if's get to me. (Where will I feel it first? What if it's more than I can handle? What if I have to cut back on the things I love?) I want to find a support group but haven't had a lot of luck finding other low and asymptomatic young adults, but you must be out there!
I'm totally, completely scared. No one really "gets" it, either. My parents think it's silly for me to worry about the future, but how can I not when I feel like the rug's been yanked out from under me? My husband is amazing, but I want to find other people who really understand what it's like to feel like your whole world's been flipped upside down, and you have to keep going. I am going -- really well most days, thank God -- but there are days where the fear or the anger just leave me stewing.
Ugh. Normally I'm pretty positive, so I apologize. Like I said, I really can't complain -- which is why I get mad at myself for doing just that. Thanks, though, and I'm glad to find this group!
Comment