Challenging myself or lying to myself...

[Donna In Texas]

I wake up every day telling myself I dont have MS. Reality is, I do have MS. I was diagnosed in 2010, two weeks after horrific incidences occurred in NY. I will be traumatized for life. I believe this trauma played a roll in my MS onset. That said, I look for no pity, I'm only sharing my thoughts.
My issues stem for my need to prove I'm in control, I seem to get out of control. For example, today in South Texas it was near 100 degrees. I decided to mow the yard, telling myself "You've got this beat". I finished the yard but now I sit in my bed because I'm beat. Last week I came back from a road trip to Boston for the 4th of July. YEP I drove it! I painted my livingroom, my kitchen and tiled my fireplace in 4 days. All this and more over the years to prove to myself and to others I can still do anything. I'm on my 3rd modifying drug since my 2nd relapse. 1st drug was Steriod infusions & Tysabri, 2nd was Copaxone injections, and now Tecfidera. I need to be doing something all the time otherwise I get depressed and scared. Anyone one else like this?

[October22]

A little

I have to say, I have four kids and I LOADED up our summer schedule to the point of absurdity some days.
Part of it is I want them to have memories of something other than me being (I can barely type the word)...sick. Part of it is I feel better when I'm not sitting around and then throw some denial in and that's about it.
Loss of control is huge for me, too and I can't get my head around it yet. But yes, if I think too much, I get depressed and sad.

[hunterd]

WELCOME TO MSWORLD DONNA!!!! IM like that also, I always need to be doing something ( and more often than not it leads to me getting in trouble! LOL). I think that the key word here would be moderation. I have learned over the years to do things at a much slower pace so as not to "burn myself out". It is much easier said than done. I still have days that I try to do things too quickly and I overdo it. Since you live in Texas I am assuming you have air-conditioning. When doing things outdoors, try to do them duringthe cooler hours of morning and evening. Also find a hobby that you can do indoors where it is cooler. While pushing your self to do things is great ( and it is fine), you need to listen to your body, your body will send out warnings that you are overdoing things long before you pass that point of no return. It is much easier I have found that it is better to do things at a slower and steadier pace than to try to do things all at once and you end up taking hours to recover.I will get off my soap box now. Good luck to you

[pitlover91]

Hey Donna, I find myself in the same situation. I have to keep myself busy( well I try unless symptoms kick in to strong) lawn work, wash the cars..of course later in the day when its not too hot. Clean my fish tank or go shooting if its not too hot outside. I've never really liked the heat before the dx but now I guess I have to be more careful. Especially because on 4th on July was kind of warm but tolerable but for some reason my body was running extra hot that day too and I had double vision from like 2 pm till like 845pm which really sucked. So now that it is hotter it makes me I guess you can say nervous or scared that itll happen again.

[Jules A]

I do although in my case it is more to get the stuff done now before MS tackles me rather than proving I'm able to beat this miserable disease. I'm resigned that it will in fact kick my butt at some point but I have a strong need to make as much money and do as much physical stuff as I can before that happens.

Last Saturday was my first day off work after 19 in a row and I was whipped but I don't regret the couple of days I have to lay in bed like a slug to recover because I was able to accomplish what I wanted to do.

[Donna In Texas]

Thanks for input

THANKS Y'All. Glad to know I'm not alone in this behavior. The fear of the unknown is a drivng force to keep moving. My family is my heart, and I do all I can to make every moment special.

I admire all of you for sharing your MS experience.
Thankfully, I have many inside(A/C) projects refinishing and restoring antiques. This is one of my passions. Plus my one year old Rottweiler keeps me busy. He's my 125 pound sidekick lol. Im a big Rottie lover.

THANKS AGAIN Y'ALL!!!