Hi,
I was diagnosed in August of 2011. I had numbness and tingling in my left hand and bilateral legs when I bent my head down. I didn't really think anything about that, ironically working as a RN on a neuro floor. I thought it was just pinched nerves. I had back and neck problems in the past and thought that was all it was. This started 3 months after giving birth to my 3rd child.
I went to an orthopedic for shoulder pain, which was unrelated bursitis, but she took some x-rays while I was there. That is when the spot on my spinal cord was seen. Then came the MRI, LP you all know the drill. I have never said "I have a disease" out loud. I have said "MS" but you know its not the same. I didn't even talk about it for months. I was still nursing my baby so we waited for meds. Which was fine because my symptoms were manageable. Well that was the calm before the storm.
Long story short and one more child later- here I am..... MY symptoms are extreme fatigue, severe pain primarily in my legs but can be all over, migraines and now depression. I cannot accept that I hve a disease. My twenties were sucky. I married someone I shouldn't have, had 2 kids and a horrible, verbally abusive marriage. Then came divorce.
While in nursing school, found my true love. Finally, I thought, happiness! We were married a year and this all started. I feel like every time I'm close to being happy, something always happens to take it all away. I feel bad for my husband. He deserves better. And now my oldest daughter, who is 14, has major psychological problems. She was in the hospital in June for suicidal thoughts, hates my husband(or she thinks she does because he does more for her than her father and she can't admit it). My family life is so stressful and hectic that I don't have time to rest. I'm scared for a relapse. Where will the lesion be this time?
Anyway, moral of my story, I am at my breaking point. I know it can always be worse. I've seen worse. But damnit, cant I want things to go my way for once? Can't I feel sorry for myself? I am at the end of my rope! Don't get the wrong idea, I would never hurt myself and put my family through that. But I haven't been happy since childhood. I can't take any more heartache.
his is my story, sorry to ramble but I am having a moment. My name is Tonya and I have a disease. Its called Multiple Sclerosis.
** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **
I was diagnosed in August of 2011. I had numbness and tingling in my left hand and bilateral legs when I bent my head down. I didn't really think anything about that, ironically working as a RN on a neuro floor. I thought it was just pinched nerves. I had back and neck problems in the past and thought that was all it was. This started 3 months after giving birth to my 3rd child.
I went to an orthopedic for shoulder pain, which was unrelated bursitis, but she took some x-rays while I was there. That is when the spot on my spinal cord was seen. Then came the MRI, LP you all know the drill. I have never said "I have a disease" out loud. I have said "MS" but you know its not the same. I didn't even talk about it for months. I was still nursing my baby so we waited for meds. Which was fine because my symptoms were manageable. Well that was the calm before the storm.
Long story short and one more child later- here I am..... MY symptoms are extreme fatigue, severe pain primarily in my legs but can be all over, migraines and now depression. I cannot accept that I hve a disease. My twenties were sucky. I married someone I shouldn't have, had 2 kids and a horrible, verbally abusive marriage. Then came divorce.
While in nursing school, found my true love. Finally, I thought, happiness! We were married a year and this all started. I feel like every time I'm close to being happy, something always happens to take it all away. I feel bad for my husband. He deserves better. And now my oldest daughter, who is 14, has major psychological problems. She was in the hospital in June for suicidal thoughts, hates my husband(or she thinks she does because he does more for her than her father and she can't admit it). My family life is so stressful and hectic that I don't have time to rest. I'm scared for a relapse. Where will the lesion be this time?
Anyway, moral of my story, I am at my breaking point. I know it can always be worse. I've seen worse. But damnit, cant I want things to go my way for once? Can't I feel sorry for myself? I am at the end of my rope! Don't get the wrong idea, I would never hurt myself and put my family through that. But I haven't been happy since childhood. I can't take any more heartache.
his is my story, sorry to ramble but I am having a moment. My name is Tonya and I have a disease. Its called Multiple Sclerosis.
** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **
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