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[alkalinebecky]

Hello... I'm having a really difficult time lately. I am 27 years old and went to the doctor with numbness/tingling in my back and hands a couple of months ago. She suspected MS and sent me to a neurologist. 2 MRIs, a spinal tap, an evoked potential test, and 3 days of IV solu-medrol later, I'm in rough shape and have no answers. I only recently found out about a family history of MS, (my uncle and second cousin have it). I already struggle with depression and anxiety. Not knowing what is going on with my body is driving me crazy. I've been missing work and had to call out tomorrow due to the "crash" after the steroids. They found one lesion in my neck and I guess that's why I had to get the IV. They didn't taper me, so I guess that's why I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I literally could barely walk today and slept the better part of the day.

I guess I'm just looking for some support and thoughts from people who are going through the same thing as me. It's hard for me to believe that I may have MS. Then again, it would explain how crappy I've felt the past couple of years. I feel like a useless pile of crap... Too tired to do anything and constantly shaking and weak. My hands are always numb and last night, I noticed my vision is going blurry. I live alone and go to school part time. I'm already broke, and now I'm worried about medical bills and losing my job.

I know that MS can be particularly difficult to diagnose, but I just have that feeling that I have it. I just have had enough of all of the testing and poking and prodding. I just want to know one way or another! I feel like a sickly old person and it's starting to interfere with my life. It's also bringing back my depression and anxiety. I'm a super hypochondriac, so this isn't helping.

Any thoughts, questions, answers, or anything is much appreciated.

Becky

[22cyclist]

Hi Becky: Welcome to MS World! Glad you decided to write!

It is always hard to be in limbo, and often times it happens to many of us for a long period of time. Your doctor has found one lesion, which is helpful, they will watch you and do MRIs in intervals to check for more, and also keep track of your symptoms to ensure you do not have more exacerbations (flare up of symptoms that last more than 24 hours). That is when they may diagnose you. For now, its limbo.

I am sorry you are suffering so many symptoms. Coming off of the steroids is hard, they usually drop all of us off of the IV dose without a taper. Sometimes it takes a couple of weeks to feel the full effect of the IVSM. For now you will just feel crappy a couple of days.

I am glad they gave you some though.

Please take care of yourself over the next couple of weeks, I know it will be hard with all you have to do. Give yourself little breaks if you can during the day. Ask for help. Just do the best you can.

As for if it is MS, it is not for now, so try to take that pressure off of yourself until it is. You will have plenty of time to worry about it then. The symptoms now are from your lesion. Just tell yourself that. If you get new ones, worry about it then. We all (those of us with MS) live one day at a time with this disease.

There is a limbo landers board on this site as well. You might be able to answer several posts there and make some yourself, or anywhere on the site. Make yourself at home.

Take care
Lisa
Moderation Team

[MyGirlsMom]

Becky, this is a rough time for you as you juggle life as well as try to get answers on your illness and symptoms. Just be good to your self and take it one day at a time. MS or any other illness that your dealing with takes time to cope with. It took me a good year or more to really feel comfortable about living with MS. Try to put "it" (the MS) on the shelf a couple house each day so that you can enjoy you, family and friends. You are at a hard stage right now...be good to yourself...you will get through this!

[alkalinebecky]

Thanks for the quick replies. I stayed home from work today as I can barely walk, I'm so weak. Is this normal for coming off of steroids? My legs feel like rubber and I feel like I have no strength whatsoever.

I'm trying to take it easy and relax and be good to myself. It's hard, already being broke, and worrying about money. Living alone and constantly worrying that I can pay my bills and go back to school in the fall. I'm already torturing myself about going back to work tomorrow. What if I can't make it? Ugh.

I'm going to check out the limbo section. Thanks for the help!