ADVICE needed
Hello everyone, I am new to this forum. I was diagnosed in December 2007 and have been doing wonderful on Betaseron. However, the past year or more I have what my doctor calls "needle fatigue" and have been non-compliant with my injections. So he recommended Gilenya. We talked about it a couple years ago but he said it was too new and wanted to wait.
He sits on the board of neurology and such and when he started seeing all the positive feedback he said it is time. I have never (thank you God) had a relapse since being diagnosed. When I was diagnosed, saying I was distraught is an understatement. I was so depressed I wanted to die. I wasn't suicidal because of my religious beliefs, but I would lay there and try to will my heart to stop, then get mad at God for not letting me die. When that didn't work I tried to stop eating and drinking for 4 days and made myself very sick, thinking that was "natural".
Anyway, I have come a long way, am very healthy, and am a living example of when my doctor first told me that I would be fine and MS is not the same disease it was years ago and that I would go on to live a normal life. My problem is, I just got the phone call to come to the office on January 14th for my first Gilenya dose. I thought I'd be excited, but I am scared! All the thoughts of first being diagnosed, starting a new medication, and all the fear that comes with it are flooding my mind. I can't stop crying and don't wanna fall back into a depression. Can anyone give me any words of wisdom, especially anyone who is taking Gilenya? Thank you so much.
** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **
He sits on the board of neurology and such and when he started seeing all the positive feedback he said it is time. I have never (thank you God) had a relapse since being diagnosed. When I was diagnosed, saying I was distraught is an understatement. I was so depressed I wanted to die. I wasn't suicidal because of my religious beliefs, but I would lay there and try to will my heart to stop, then get mad at God for not letting me die. When that didn't work I tried to stop eating and drinking for 4 days and made myself very sick, thinking that was "natural".
Anyway, I have come a long way, am very healthy, and am a living example of when my doctor first told me that I would be fine and MS is not the same disease it was years ago and that I would go on to live a normal life. My problem is, I just got the phone call to come to the office on January 14th for my first Gilenya dose. I thought I'd be excited, but I am scared! All the thoughts of first being diagnosed, starting a new medication, and all the fear that comes with it are flooding my mind. I can't stop crying and don't wanna fall back into a depression. Can anyone give me any words of wisdom, especially anyone who is taking Gilenya? Thank you so much.
** Moderator's note - Post broken into paragraphs for easier reading. Many people with MS have visual difficulties that prevent them from reading large blocks of print. **
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