In the middle of the night.........

[New normal]

Hours and hours the tremors continue....take more meds...that will do it....relax, think gentle thoughts....hmmmm, test the tremors....aw, if I stop the hand, just the finger shakes...that's good....just fool the arm, like side stepping the computer when it thinks it's in control....just the finger

.....hmmmm...oh, now the toe moves...hmmm..I can win...I'll let my toe and ankle move and my finger...fool the arm..

oops that didnot work, now my entire leg tremors..oh, bad...

I'll go back to the arm...divert my thinking..that will work, sure...let the arm tremble til the meds take effect and just think of something else.....

...hmmm.oops, arm thinks it is in control, tremors increase, increase, INCREASE, Gosh, watch this...how BIG can this tremor get? OK, "tremor", just go for it...go big...go as big as you want..no one is watching...I don't have to hide..you just go as big as you want cuz I know the meds are going to catch up to you and KILLLLLL you...

Ooops, tremor is winning...arm is beating my shoulder...oh no, waking the pooch, DH is moving.....stop ye "tremor", STOP! STOP!

Ahhhh, you stopped. I CAN control u! No Tremor! Ah, does that mean I just imagine you? I am having an anxiety attack in my bed in the dark? ....cuz I killed you, TREMMMMMMOR!!!

Yep, you are gone...neener, neener, meds won, or I won...sleep soon......ahhhhhhh.....

My face? Tremor in my FACE? NOOOOOO, I am imagining this...I am dreaming....no my mouth is smiling on one side...then the other.....no, you blasted tremor.....you MOVED again!! Right cheek, left cheek ....right cheek left cheek....what a cruel joke..... My dimples on each side...depressing alternately. Right...left...right .... Left

Ok, ......time for more meds.. As I walk to the nearby bathroom, both legs bounce as if I were in a street gang initiation dance.....knees buckling...legs bouncing..OMG! Who or what possesses my BODY???

And, the real question remains.....how do I ever explain this to a neuro??????

[Cat Mom]

Please forgive me for saying this when you feel so horrible but I was captivated reading your post. I love your descriptions ("like in a street gang initiation dance"), can you describe it to your neuro just like you did here? Or will he/she break out West Side Story?

In all seriousness, it's awful that you had to spend the night in such discomfort and fear. We often play "trade the body part", negotiating (sometimes out loud) with one, sacrificing the other. I call it MS poker "I'll see your tremor and raise you a blind eye". Like I can bully it away! It's a vicious circle, fatigue causes sx to act up but can't sleep because sx are acting up... geez!

I do hope you got some sleep and that your neuro understands an can give you something that eases this for you. Let us know how you make out.

Jen

[New normal]

You made me laugh...

I thought I had crossed the boundary to the insane when I posted this thread...I actually was "playing the MS game" trying to find any diversion... and posting seemed to take me "away" for awhile......

And sure enuf!! By golly, someone "gets it!". I am amazed!! Makes me wonder how many other people actually "bargain" with their symptoms to make it thru the day.....
.
I honestly laughed out loud at your post..gosh, thanks for posting..."dark humor" is better than no humor at all, I suppose....

The neuro?.....no, better try to keep credibility and not share the absurd.....they can only handle so much "bizarre" symptoms....I save this for my forum friends...ya know? They are the ones who "get it"....

Happy 4th!!! Thanks for yr kind words.......

[Cat Mom]

So glad you weren't insulted by my dark humour and LOL-ed, it's a survival mechanism that keeps me going. It comes out of the closet on hot, housebound days like today. I have no potential victims (kids, husband) home right now so I guess you're the lucky recipient!

Insane is ok and I think it's safe to say that most of us "get it" so post away!

Happy 4th to you too! I'm in Canada but look for any excuse to eat cake. You just gave me one!

I hope you have a better night and get some sleep tonight.
Jen

[ladibabe]

sounds like your body is dancing and there is no music. I am just starting to feel tremors or spasms in my body and it tickles. I am sure it will get very annoying but for now I can live with it.

[WillyNilly]

You guys crack me up- oops, sorry, probably shouldn't have said that

Ahh yes, ye olde tremors. Are ye massively stressed?

I ask because oddly (or maybe tellingly) that sounded like me off and on, then after I kicked my husband out they gradually receded and haven't been back to visit except for the mild eyelid or brow twitch thing.

It's been since Feb. of ...2010. Hmmmmm...

[New normal]

Just for more laughs...

When asked about my tremors, I just say, "welllll, now I can season my food without moving ...."

Or...for those who saw the movie,"the Great outdoors" with John Candy & Dan Alkroyd and they met the guy in the tavern who was tremulous from being struck by lightning "sixty,sixty, sixty..six times", I do my best imitation at "sixty, sixty, sixty, SEVEN times".....

I do not intend to make light of any of this.....it is not fun...and my legs are really challenging me.....which is scary...I have thought to call the neuro to move up my appt....but they wd only offer me steroids....and, again, at my age, the unintended consequences are greater than the benefit....

I am Irish ....I no longer drink....so my best coping mechanism left is to laugh.....

My 5 year old granddaughter recently said.."grandma, you are shaking faster than before when you held me...". I said, "no, honey, I am just giving you a massage this time...."

My dog no longer obeys me cuz he can't tell where I am pointing.....

My husband chastised our little dog for scratching while on the bed...poor little thing...he was sound asleep...my tremors were going.....

Oh, yeahhhhhhh...gotta million of them! So what else is there to do?

(apologies to anyone I may offend.....I would make jokes with the devil if I thought it would help.......No one deserves to experience these things)


Willy nilly sounds like you lost over a hundred pounds along with the stress......good for you!!

[ladibabe]

hahaha.. I am Irish as well and have yet to stop having a drink every now and then.. I just make sure not to leave the house. It helps me laugh at the twitching.. My eyes have joined the party for the last couple days.