I miss everything about me

[kristine31]

i have realized that my symptoms keep me from doing the simplest stuff, stuff that i'm not willing to give up. The hardest part is watching my bf do things without me, that i should be able to do, but i can't. My kids see me struggle, but i don't have the heart to tell them. I have been through a lot of things in my life, but watching myself waste away is frustrating. It is the one thing i can't accept. But yet i can't do anything about it.

[MSSINCE09]

Hello,

For a year I felt that I could not and would not ever be the same person I was. I was not able to go out at all. Lost my job, quit driving due to right side weakness and meds , and am on disability now. I kept having flare after flare. I am feeling ok these days I have bad days and good days. For instance I was able to ride my bike the other day, and on another day the last month was able to go hiking using walking sticks.

I have found, and I hope you find that sometimes will be better than others and we have to see the best in each moment of our lives.

[Mynamegoeshere1]

Me too

Thats the hardest thing for me. How long have you been dx? I've only been dx since October but have gone downhill fast. It's really tough for me but I've heard the first year, the adjustment period is the worst. This place is a great place for support though and we all are there for you and understand if that helps give you any peace. It helped me just knowing someone else out there understood. I wish you the best of luck. There are also a lot of work-arounds and assistive devices that can help you still participate partially in some of the activities. Your life is not over. You have ms, it does NOT have you. That's a phrase I tell myself daily!

[Thomas Jackson]

You are not alone , kristine. Sometimes I can't do what a 5 year old could do easy. I will however , seize any good moment I can. There are a lot of wonderful people here which helps me immeasurably.

[jlambert16]

I miss everything too Kristine

I can't drive because of sever pain and numbness in my right leg. I had to quit my job, hanging out with friends on a regular basis. Everything! I was just diagnosed a little over a month ago and I hate it! I've been having symptoms for 7 months.

[Abe Munder the Wheeled Wonder]

The period after I was diagnosed was the worst time of my life. Kept getting worse, worse, worse, with no control over anything. It felt like the floor dropped out of my life and I was in freefall, with nothing to stop me.

Then my condition leveled off, plus I learned how to manage my symptoms… I got my system down. We adapt. It gets better.

Wishing you strength.

[rsunde8735]

just a question

did dr advise you to get some type of meds to slow the progression?,every one is different,and meds react different on each person.dont know if it has helped me,but only have 1 problem since i got ms,did the rebif help,,,,,,,,who knows,but i wont quit taking it because it may be working,i will never know,but have heard from others who quit taking what ever the dr prescribed,and were sad they did.

[JacquiK]

Same boat

Kristine,
I struggled with the dichotomy of the two people living inside me. The one who played/coached soccer, drove, worked and kept an active social life. Then there was the one who had to use a soccer ball as part of her PT to try to regain balance, who needed a ride from friends and family to get to the store, who spent days filing out forms for SSDI and has a left eye the doesn't stay still.
It is a daily struggle to find some beauty and something positive in each day. I take joy in the flowers that are starting to bloom, I enjoy laughs with my sister and the charms of my 2 little granddaughters. I try to see the things in life and the world that I surely missed during the first 57 years and above all, I don't tolerate anyone who brings me down. Our community is a strong one, lean on us when you need to!

[ccoghill]

I posted almost the same thing a while ago. The other members here made me feel very welcome. Reading others posts, vents...made me feel OK with myself.

You are feeling the same as others on here feel. Yes, things suck right now, but you will find other things to make you smile.

Keep on here and you will feel better.

[Moosette]

I understand what ya mean it is so hard sometimes to deal with ms and all of the lovely things that it does to us and although people can be supportive, unless you are going through it themselves, people don't really get it...they think as long as you are not in a wheelchair that things are fine when in reality, ms affects people in so many different ways with so many symptoms (and most people don't have just one). This forum has been great, people are so understanding and supportive .

I am crossing my fingers for an eventual cure but in the mean time there are some pretty good drugs out there to help combat symptoms/progression and there are many others in development..I am so sorry you are going through this and making the adjustments to life with ms is one of the hardest things to deal with... There are days that I would give anything to have my old self back....my thoughts are with you and hope that whatever drug you are on or choose to go on will be able to give you some of yourself back

[Monica_67]

I completely get it!! I just signed on here & your post resonated so strongly within me... I was such a strong, independent, intelligent geo-engineering student. Now, I am none of the above. I have yet to begin treatment, but find life so difficult most days it's hard to feel any hope.

I guess what I'm trying to say to you is that we have to push forward each day! I do it for the 2 young boys I have so that I may show them that NOTHING should stop you from following your dreams! Even if you have to take an unexpected detour, find your way back on the right path.

Try & see even the smallest reason to smile or feel positive. It looks like this is the right place for the both of us.

[Nanobaby]

To everyone else who posted on here.

Being Dx in 2008, I can completely sympathize with what you are going through emotionally.

My number one piece of advice: DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF.

Yes, you may have lost a lot but you will find that you will gain a lot too:

You gain wisdom, in knowing who truly loves you by sticking by your side no matter what happens

You eventually overcome medical phobias, be it as simple as going to the doctor's. That in itself is already one step forward.

You learn new ways to do things, and about new things.

Just tell yourself this: I CAN overcome and I WILL.

Vent on here anytime.

[WendyRochet]

I can completely relate to this!

This is so frustrating at least you've been able to control ur emotions with your kids I can't say I've been that good. Most of the time but I have had my share of breakdowns hear and there. It sucks!

[Juulez]

Hi...so sad

Hi I was finally diagnosed after years of pain and other sx. I am glad to finally have a diagnoses but I feel so alone and sad. I feel like I am no one anymore. Always in pain can hardly walk can't drive fall all of the time. This is yucky!i am not me I feel like a baby that needs to be taken care of all of the time.and let me tell you I am so tired of crying!