Don't know how I feel

[lifeisajourney40]

I`m 44year old I have 3 children 2 boys both married a daughter in college she is in her 3th year. A wonderful Husband what more can you ask for. Right.... Well I like to know how I’m suppose to feel knowing since August 10th of this year that I have MS. Not looking to great for me there. I feel good one day and bad for few more, before I knew of the MS, I just thought I was out of energy all the time. Now I feel nothing, I tell everyone I’m great I’m fine, look at other people there live is worth than my. Inside of me I’m cold. What do I need to do so I can deal with this better? I keep everyone away from me. What`s wrong with me am I normal or not? I feel like I’m in a movie or at times that it’s all not true then I just cry. I want to scream so loud. I’m I ever get out of this stage? I don`t like talking to my husband about it too much he helps me so much as is I don’t want to put more on his plate..
Up down I sure do hope it’s normal, dying comes to mine a lot, leaving the kids and my husband. Maybe they need me and I will not be there for theme.
Is someone out there that can talk to me please? I just don`t ppknow anymore…..

[empirerecs]

Hi, I am sorry you are going through this. It's normal and you are not alone. I was diagnosed in 2008 at 42 with some numbness and tingling in my lower leg. Didn't really think the other things were anything as I was under crazy stress at the time.

You are going through the mourning process right now and it will take a while. I think you need to find some way to discuss your concerns with your family, everyone needs to talk about it because I'm sure they are scared too. Your husband sounds very supportive and concerned, he's also feeling helpless because he can't 'fix' you. If it's available to you, some counseling might help through the beginning of this. You didn't mention the medication or how you like your doctor. Have you discussed your concerns with him/her?

This disease is so different for everyone. It's hard to do, but don't focus on the future, we can't predict it. I'm not being hypocritical when I say that, I'm going through a bad time right now and I'm looking at nursing homes! I have a long way to go before I get there and my therapist won't like it when I tell her! It's very natural to go through stuff like that.

You aren't alone, you need to get more information so you can understand where you are in the progression and how to manage it. You will get lots of support here and get a lot of quesitons answered. It's important to have a good doctor who will work with you, you have to feel comfortable talking about everything.

I really hope you begin to feel better soon.

[AnneLouise]

It is so normal to feel the way you're feeling. You feel like you've been robbed. So many times I thought of dying. Everyone would be better off, but, no, they would be devastated. Your husband, children. Every one who loves you does not want to lose you. No matter what.

I'm still trying to get a grip on this. I cry and am angry, also. I see people, too, running around, doing things I used to do. But they're not more worthy than I. Who knows what troubles they have? I think I'm pretty lucky, despite ms. And you never know what the future holds.

Get your finances in order. Look into walkers, wheelchairs, nursing homes. As much as you don't want to, as hard as it is, you will feel more in control. I try to live day to day, and not look to the future, but it is good to know some things are taken care of. And, you know what? Who really cares what my house looks like? I won't be taking it with me and I doubt I'll be judged by my housekeeping skills.
I clean when begins to bother me.

I tell most people I am fine. They can't do anything anyway. And most don't understand. I understand about overloading the husband. I try not to, because I know it's hurting him, too. That's why you need a good counselor.

One thing, though, I am thankful for, is that I am glad this disease hit me now, when my daughter is in her twenties and does her own thing. When she was little, we ran, rode bikes, flew kites, played on swings, slides, merry-go-rounds, swam in pools and the ocean, and so on. Thank god I could do all that then.

The Divine does not punish. Instead, I think it wants to know the strength and determination I have. I won't lie. MS is hard. Very hard. But try and be harder.

[hunterd]

hi life and WELCOME!!!!!!!! you ARE VERY MUCH loved and you would be terribly missed by many. you said you wanted someone to talk to, so i`ll list some phone numbers for you;
National Crisis Lines
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
http://www.findcounseling.com/help/hotlines/
International Crisis Lines
http://www.befrienders.org/index.asp
http://suicidehotlines.com/international.html
National Domestic Violence Hotline
http://www.thehotline.org/ or 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Homeless Resources
http://www.nationalhomeless.org/ (USA)
http://www.homeless.org.au/directory/canada.htm (Canada)
Law Enforcement (for when you have an address of someone in need of a welfare check)
http://www.usacops.com/ (USA)
http://www.ipa.ca/lawenflinks.php (Canada)
National MS Society (Information and Resource Center)
Email the society at contactusnmss@nmss.org and we have specialists that can respond to questions and search for resources
Or call the toll free number at 1-800-344-4867 and press option 1, Monday-Friday from 7am-5pm, MST
Callers may leave voice message and specialist will follow up to address their needs.
i hope these help you. you are never alone, remember that, come here and seek support if you wish. we are all in the same boat. i truely am looking forward to many more years of comments from you here.

[Sequoia]

Welcome to MSWorld, lifeisajourney40!

What you're feeling is very normal, and you will start to feel better about having MS as you get used to your diagnosis, gather more information, and maybe get some professional counseling (as many of us have done). And of course, we want to help you here too.

I like your username very much. It's true that life is a journey, and on a journey nothing stays the same. There are always new experiences, new understandings, around the next bend in the path. Your path will continue on past this point of fear and misery, and you'll begin to see your way clear to a future that holds much more than just MS.

Sincere good wishes,

Sequoia

[lifeisajourney40]

Thank you so much, think i have a better day so i hope lol

[BlessMS]

It will get better. I was diagnosed in August as well...you will still have "those days". Don't fight them. Just go with the flow, and know that it is just a "speed bump" in the road, and it's a new day tomorrow. I'm learning this is a process, but no one, unless they personally, and I mean PERSONALLY have MS, do they understand.

You can't expect someone to understand why in the world you want to just sleep all the time. Each time I get in the car with my husband, I'm OUT!

Treat yourself gentle. We all need one another. Your children and Husband would be lost without you. Know you are loved Sunshine!!

[lifeisajourney40]

God bless to have such wonderful people around….

God bless to have such wonderful people around….

Well, let me tell you all a bit about me, my husband and I have been in the Army for 25 years just retired. Is last Duty station was in Texas we did not know if we were going to stay there? We were told that the heat out there flared my MS up that’s how I found out that I had it. So we dissident to move to a colder place (what’s not to great for my osteoporoses) LOL…. I know but hey what can we do…..
We moved to Nebraska I do love it here the folks here are great and kind. I do not want to move away from here ever again. I really think God send us here.
I have not made an attempt to fine a DR. jet why I don’t know; maybe I just don’t want more bad news. The Dr I had in Texas was great he explained everything to me I just was not ready to talk jet .I`m going to call sometime this week so I keep telling my husband for the last 3 weeks. Anyhow all of you made me feel so much better I know now I’m not alone out there. We all are fighting just about the same thing.
I know I’m still in denial and the time will come where the next step will come and new challenges. Will I be able to deal with it don’t know that today..
I will take a day at a time as so many of you tell me to do, get more info. And start looking around for places. Yes I know counseling is really coming handy at this time. Never that I thought I will need it.
Thank you all so much….
Oh….. My spelling is not the greatest (I`m from Germany) but I think I do OK

[Thinkimjob]

Your spelling is very good. Better than my German. Dub ist nict ein dumpkuft.

[hunterd]

LOVE DEUTSCHLAND!!!!!!!! vacationed there once. love the food even more! my cousin lives in berlin. austria was very nice too!