New to this site, Mom diagnosed with MS

[JPowell]

Hi! My name is Jess. My mother was diagnosed with progressive MS in 1997. She does not have exacerbations and remissions. She constantly has this disease and it slowly progresses over time. Of course certain things in the environment can make it worse at times, but she never "catches a break" from MS. She was 35 years old and my dad was 37. They are now 49 and 51. I was 11 years old and my brother was 8. Right now I am 25 and my brother is 22. I am married and currently trying to conceive. Scared that I may end up exhibiting signs of MS and possibly later be diagnosed as well or pass it on to children. My Dad has had some rough spots in life that I may give stories of later on, but he is currently thinking about a divorce and it basically just "hit me" last night. I just want maybe some advice to give him. I don' know... I know I can not "persuade him to stay", but it is so sad and scary. They have been together since they were in high school. Anyway, I'm not going to post everything in here, but I've got SO much to share and perhaps I could help someone else with the things that I have experienced.

[hunterd]

WELCOME JESS!!! sending positive thoughts to your mom and dad! glad your here! ask or just relate, whatever strikes you at the moment. i look forward to seeing more of you around here.

[sunshine008]

your such a good daughter to think of coming in here to get advice to give your dad..........

as far as your dad goes and their interpersonal relationship, MS as you know can be really hard on caregivers and partners. Maybe you should suggest to him that he take a step back for a moment and get some advice, some support for himself.

Men I find sometimes do not do that. they just keep on going without getting supports in place for themselves. Maybe if he got that he'd find a friend that is going thru the same thing, and through that support can find his way in the marriage again....??

just an idea. try not to be too nervous about you winding up with MS also.. i know it's hard. my daughter often worries about it also. yet you cant' live your life nervous about what may or may not happen. be happy and good luck with the baby making Having my first child was the most exciting time in my life, it can be hard but it's also alot of fun

[JPowell]

Thank you! He has talked to a counselor (marriage)and other people (not people experiencing this though), but he seems to think this is the best for him at the moment. I wrote a 3 page letter to him trying to explain how my brother and I feel and how my Mom would most likely feel if she could express herself again. Didn't really make an impact on his decision. I can only control the decisions I make...unfortunately. I try not to worry about it... it didn't really affect the way that I think until a month or so before I got married. I try to keep it out of my thoughts though. You never know where this life is going to take you next huh? They say you are only given what you can handle.