A Control Freak Gets MS? Oh Drama Llama!

[LullabyJD]

Hi, everyone.

I'm a newly diagnosed RRMS'er. I was diagnosed this Spring after I pushed for an MRI to figure out why I was numb. My doctor at first tried to tell me the numbness was most likely from an exercise injury, given that I'd recently begun a very rigorous fitness routine at the gym. Or dehydration. Because as well all know, being dehydrated makes people feel numb in random extremities and lose vision in 1 eye.

I've been reading here since I got the "official" DX, in July. I wasn't sure I'd stop lurking, because for now things for me are so mild and I feel as though I'm coping. But I think I need to be here. I feel awkward bringing up the MS to my husband, because we're both believers that the things we dwell on become our realities. I don't want to dwell to the point that my "what ifs" become my "oh shoot it happeneds."

At the same time, gotta prepare for the worst as I live for the best. What's got me really psyched out is the loss of control. I'm that person that has to watch every single moment of the blood draw, so I know the exact second the cannula enters the vein, all the way to the moment it is withdrawn. So, how do I reconcile that need for control with a nebulous MS progression?

And yeah, I know, "we could all get hit by a bus of Episcopalian nuns tomorrow," but really, the chances of catastrophic trauma like that are so much slimmer than the chances that MS will lead to disability. It's like comparing Justin Beiber to John Lennon, ya know?

Anyhow, thanks for building this awesome refuge (and for reading my tome).

[KarenR]

From one control freak to another...

Welcome to MSWorld, LullabyJD!

I was diagnosed in 2005. Until that day, I was a #1 control freak.

I realized, after some time and introspection, that this stinkin' disease was God's way of saying
"Hey, lady, slow down! Let go! Relax!"

I've learned to enjoy the gentler things in life, to let people help me when I need it, to not say "yes" to every invitation and opportunity, to take my life one day at a time.

You'll learn, too.

Again, welcome to MSWorld. You'll find some of the best people here!

Be well,

[KoKo]

Hi Lullaby JD

I feel awkward bringing up the MS to my husband, because we're both believers that the things we dwell on become our realities. I don't want to dwell to the point that my "what ifs" become my "oh shoot it happeneds."

At the same time, gotta prepare for the worst as I live for the best. What's got me really psyched out is the loss of control.

I hear ya!

Having MS has taught me a few things. One is that no matter what I do, there are aspects of MS that I cannot control, unfortunately.

Second, there are things that I actually can control. Among these things that I do have some control over are what I eat, supplements that I take, doing the exercises that I'm able to do, getting the rest I need, how I treat others, and most importantly - my attitude and how I choose to perceive things.

And yeah, I know, "we could all get hit by a bus of Episcopalian nuns tomorrow," but really, the chances of catastrophic trauma like that are so much slimmer than the chances that MS will lead to disability. It's like comparing Justin Beiber to John Lennon, ya know?

I think the meaning and the point of statements similar to that one is that excessively worrying about what might happen is a waste of time and doesn't serve any good purpose. No one has a crystal ball. There are things over which we have no control, and in life the unexpected can happen to anyone at any time.

We just have to do the best we can, with what we have.

Looking forward to seeing you around!

Take care,
KoKo

[502E79]

Welcome LullabyJD,

I'm sorry for your DX but knowing the problem is less stressful.

First off in MHO communicating with your mate is just that... it isn't some sort of "bad karma" (that the things we dwell on become our realities).... As long as communication does not lead to obsessing, then anxiety, you (and dh) will be better for it.

You speak of being really psyched out over "loss of control."

If you really think about life you will see you have no real control. Everything is indebted to everything else, sacrificed to everything else, dependent on everything else. Nature AND people.

MS will lead wherever it will lead. It's obvious you should use your health, do your best to maintain, etc. etc. but it's your disposition and not your control in life, where your focus should be.

Somehow I think you know that, right?

Best, Jer

[LullabyJD]

Thanks, all, for the welcome.

I appreciate all your insights, especially as I know that unlike others who offer advice, you folks have trod the path I am on as well. I think for me the hardest thing thus far has been reconciling what I know with my head, to what I feel (and fear) in my heart.

I'm sure I'll be depending a lot on what I'm reading here, most notably the great advice about personal upkeep and emotional preparedness. This really is a goldmine of a site.

[cosake]

Welcome to a fellow control freak !

Sounds like I'm not quite as much of a control freak as you, but I had major issues with having MS and not being able to control anything about it.

I spent almost 18 months reading and learning everything I could about MS and treatments so that I could be prepared for what might happen. Then I kind of stopped for a little while.

I realized that the only control I have over MS is knowledge. KNOWLEDGE = CONTROL for me. If I have the knowledge, then I have some control over the situation.

And, being proactive about some things, like getting enough rest, and knowing when to say NO when asked to volunteer or attend events.

Take care of yourself, and arm yourself with knowledge, and that is the most control that you can have.

This is the best place to be when you have MS !

[Jules A]

Hi and welcome,
I'm also a control freak and think this diagnosis is totally inappropriate for people like us. Lets exchange it for something else, ok?

Hang in there.