My first visit ever to a message board...

[SunnyShellyRobin]

Hello,

My nickname is Shelly; I am 44 and was diagnosed with MS on Dec 24, 2009. This is my first time using a message board so I apologize ahead of time if I talk too much and ramble on about my stirred up crazy emotions. I am going to try and keep it short.

Today my hand specialist made me feel like I am absolutely crazy and quickly said that the pains and loss of use was “probably” due to the MS. He’s probably right but wow I didn’t expect to be treated like a dog with rabbies. He didn’t listen to any of my concerns and most certainly was not concerned that I couldn’t brush my teeth, feed myself or clean after using the restroom.

I have had some major flair-ups and have dealt with it and survived the most severe suicidal stomach pains – pains that nobody should ever have to experience. I have had days where it is hard to walk, my feet burn, my head hurts and I have no energy. But I have never lost the use of my hands or suffered the type of pain in my hand and arm that I am now experiencing. Perhaps deep down inside I knew that it could be MS related and was in denial because I think I have been living in denial for years, since I first got sick.

Today, the Dr. visit finally made me crash and burn. I can’t stop crying, I’m scared of what’s to come. What else is lingering inside my body that I don’t’ know about? Are my emotions and tears normal? Or am I really going crazy? Will this pass? Will I ever be normal? Will I ever regain my emotional strong side? Why am I beating myself up for being weak and breaking emotionally?

I can ususally tell myself "this dear shall pass" but I'm not feeling it and haven't felt it for the entire day. I'm not the same Sunny Shelly that I was 24 hours ago and I want that person back! Any suggestions?

Thanks for providing me with a place to share my feelings.

God Bless.

[KoKo]

Hi Shelly

Welcome!

Today my hand specialist made me feel like I am absolutely crazy and quickly said that the pains and loss of use was “probably” due to the MS. He’s probably right but wow I didn’t expect to be treated like a dog with rabbies. He didn’t listen to any of my concerns and most certainly was not concerned that I couldn’t brush my teeth, feed myself or clean after using the restroom

I have had days where it is hard to walk, my feet burn, my head hurts and I have no energy. But I have never lost the use of my hands or suffered the type of pain in my hand and arm that I am now experiencing.

Sorry to learn that you are going through a really rough time - and that you weren't treated very well by your doctor. That really stinks.

Losing function of the hands is very scary. Has your doctor mentioned physical therapy or occupational therapy? You might be able to regain some use, and also be shown how to adapt with the abilities that you do have.

Today, the Dr. visit finally made me crash and burn. I can’t stop crying, I’m scared of what’s to come. What else is lingering inside my body that I don’t’ know about? Are my emotions and tears normal? Or am I really going crazy? Will this pass? Will I ever be normal? Will I ever regain my emotional strong side? Why am I beating myself up for being weak and breaking emotionally?

Most of us go through sadness, grief, and fear when we're faced with the various losses that MS can cause. So I would say that it's normal to have those emotions under the circumstances.

If depression lingers, it might be wise to tell your doctor. Sometimes therapy and/or meds can be helpful. If your doctor doesn't take you seriously, or listen to you, it might be time for a new doctor.

Maybe being on these forums and realizing that you're not alone with the challenges of MS will help. Reading about how other members are dealing with similar issues may be beneficial, and will help you to see that you can get through this stuff.

Feel free to share your experiences, and vent when you need to!

Take care,
KoKo

[hunterd]

My nickname is Shelly; I am 44 and was diagnosed with MS on Dec 24, 2009
hi shelly!!! welcome!!! i`m dave, 44 also and dx dec 5, 2000.

Today, the Dr. visit finally made me crash and burn. I can’t stop crying, I’m scared of what’s to come. What else is lingering inside my body that I don’t’ know about? Are my emotions and tears normal? Or am I really going crazy? Will this pass? Will I ever be normal? Will I ever regain my emotional strong side? Why am I beating myself up for being weak and breaking emotionally?

it`s easy for me to say but, don`t worry about what MAY happen. remember, the flip side of that coin is that it MAY NOT happen. quit worring about tomorrow and live today. tomorrow you can`t get today back.
as far as your sx, my feet also burn! the dr prescribed gabapentin, and so far (8 months) it has worked. good luck.

dave

[Lexie]

Do you have a family support system? Without them I could not face all of this. I have found that my neurologist is of no help after the diagonosis. He has no answers and just referred to the MS SOciety website. My primary physician is much more help with depression, anxiety, etc. It is normal to cry sometimes I do. It is normal to feel sorry for yourself sometimes I do. It is normal to feel guilty for not being able to do things I used to do. I think we all have good days and bad days, good months and bad months. The hardest thing for me is not being able to plan anything ahead of time. Then since we look o.k. on the outside we loose treasured friends because they just don't understand why I say I am unable to go somewhere or do something. It is indeed a difficult disease. I find peace here. Hope you do the same. Keep in touch and don't lose the faith!

[msm]

I hear you.

Shelley,
I am 47, daignosed about a year ago. I often decide my symptoms are due to anything other than ms. I have a tremor in my left hand, of course I'm left handed(God has a sense of humor). I just started seeing a new Neuro. I have to face the fact, yes FACT that I have ms, not menopause,vitamin defficiency, not terminal lazy *** disease, not depression, not stress, not post Navy career blues. Yes all those thing may be in the mix but ms is a part of who I am. I will not let it define me. I will get, angry,sad, scared,& many other things. I have my life and the gift of living one day at a time. Peace