Should I take someone on my Neuro Apts with me?

[tenacious triathleate]

My mom is really wanting to go on my neuro apts with me. Part of me wants her there just for support and because my memory/train of thought most of the time is past derailed. Part of me isn't sure I want her in the doctors office with me, don't have a good reason for that though. Do you take someone with you? Why or why not?

TIA

Lauren

[Seasha]

Welcome tenacious triathleate!

I think a lot depends on the relationship you have with your mother. If she is supportive of you, and you have nothing to hide, I would have her come along. My husband did so for me at the beginning when I was trying to understand all that was happening to my body, and I was so grateful. He was a great note-taker, so that was invaluable as I was not able to retain all the info! I referred back to those notes many times and he was there to discuss them with me and be my main support system.

He also wrote down questions that I had compiled over a period of time before the appts.

I'm hoping your mom is a good note taker or has a good memory in case you're not feeling up for it. I actually think your mom is super wanting to come with you. Sadly, some family members are not that supportive. Hope the appt goes well for you regardless, if she is there or not!

[JerryD]

I don't know enough about your situation / condition to respond too specifically. If you have a good relationship with your mom, I would suggest that she accompanies you. You should have a writing pad and a pencil to take notes.
No matter what the neurologist says to you, give the information a lot of thought. If you get a diagnosis of MS, get the doc to suggest someone to do a 'second opinion. I hope all goes well. Good luck

[Marco]

Lauren,
I always prepare for doctor's appointments with a typed/printed summary of my medical status. This includes a brief summary, current medication lists, any recent changes, questions and action items I need from the doctor. I leave enough space for comments and make 3 copies. One copy goes to the doctor, I keep one and one goes to my wife. My wife and I both take notes and this system works out well. There have been many times when the doctor asked a question that my wife could answer better than I could.

I think it's great i your mom can be there for support, will take notes and help you stay on track.
Now, if you mother wants to "take over" the appointment that would not work out so well. You can also ask your mother to leave for part of the appointment if something completely private needs to be discussed. There have also been times when I have left the room and my wife and doctor talked privately. Whatever your decision, I hope your appointment goes well and your MS is well-controlled. I wish you well!

[Abbie2207]

My mom is really wanting to go on my neuro apts with me. Part of me wants her there just for support and because my memory/train of thought most of the time is past derailed. Part of me isn't sure I want her in the doctors office with me, don't have a good reason for that though. Do you take someone with you? Why or why not?

TIA

Lauren

hi Lauren,

I am just starting my series of appointments and seeing specialists and I am personally making sure I have someone with me at all times. I, too, have great difficulty recalling what is said to me, especially when my doctor shared with me my brain MRI results and rambled for 10 minutes about what is to come for me. So now either my fiancé, mom, or dad will be with me for all my upcoming appointments. They know everything about me. Including my medical history, even the enbarassing stuff. It gives me comfort knowing they are there and that I don't have to try and remember every single thing that was said to me.

Good luck!!

[22cyclist]

Yes. It is a great idea if they will go with you! Support cannot be overstated in these situations. Even if you are not eventually diagnosed with MS, they will be able to help guide you through the differential diagnosis process that can be a long and arduous thing.

Best of luck
Take care and keep us posted on your progress!

Lisa

[Phoenix822]

I'm grateful for your question and to see all of these thoughtful responses. There are definitely parts of my appointments that I wouldn't want to share with more people than I have to, but having someone there - and all these wonderful ideas for taking notes - that's really good stuff!
so... Thanks for asking, and thanks to everyone answering.

[Mamabug]

I take my husband with me, and am usually glad for the extra ears. He also asks good questions sometimes. However, he is well aware that it is my appointment and, because there are confidentiality laws, if he is out of line (which is a risk -- sometimes he has been controlling and has threatened to ask questions that should be directed elsewhere or left alone, IMO), I have the right to ask that he leave the appointment.

So far, I have not had to do this.

[pb909]

I prefer having my wife with me when she can take me. Helps me remember things to bring up if I forget but best part is remembering what was said when he is on to the next item while I'm still grasping the previous (yes he'll go back if I ask but sometimes it moves quickly.)

If a friend or one of my daughters takes me I will go in alone.

[lucidmom]

It's up to you

I wasn't going to take anyone with me. I was ready to go alone, didn't actually even tell my husband that I had a neuro appointment. I didn't want to make a big deal of it. we were at my sisters and my mom was asking me how the hallucinations and thrashing around was going and he piped up saying he was tired of me not sleeping well, so i finally said I had an appointment. He insisted on going, and I was very glad. He was able to answer some of the questions that I had no idea how to answer. He explained things when my words couldn't come, and was there for the dr answer. It actually helped him out, he knew I wasn't over reacting, embellishing what was going on, and could help with remembering what the doctor told me. In the end, I'm very grateful he went.

[Marco]

I wasn't going to take anyone with me. I was ready to go alone, didn't actually even tell my husband that I had a neuro appointment. I didn't want to make a big deal of it. we were at my sisters and my mom was asking me how the hallucinations and thrashing around was going and he piped up saying he was tired of me not sleeping well, so i finally said I had an appointment. He insisted on going, and I was very glad. He was able to answer some of the questions that I had no idea how to answer. He explained things when my words couldn't come, and was there for the dr answer. It actually helped him out, he knew I wasn't over reacting, embellishing what was going on, and could help with remembering what the doctor told me. In the end, I'm very grateful he went.

I love this post! My wife, Michelle, does not go to every medical appointment, but she doesn't miss a neurology appointment. She takes notes, helps with answers and ensures all of our questions are answered. I also take notes, but I have a hard time keeping up with the pace. I would encourage everyone to try to find a supportive person that can go to medical appointments with them.