sad but true, I have MS

[wizardsmom6]

Hi, I was diagnosed in September. I am having such a hard time emotionally coming to terms with it. I cry every day and even though I know logically that it is not a death sentence, I still feel it is. What can I do to accept it? Any experience would be appreciated.

Thank you in advance!

[Pipes123]

I obsessed and grieved for more than a year. I still miss believing I was healthy. I definitely miss being free of doctors and medical treatment.

While I was cursing my fate, I was also noticing that the horrible confusion and fear around unexplained symptoms was gone. I fit the ms profile. Knowing my symptoms are not unique... knowing why the fatigue, etc. has been amazingly helpful.

We are all different. But, if you can, I would say don't try to rush through the sadness. You have a lifetime to learn how to live with this... I think of it more as a life sentence than a death sentence. I don't have other conditions, so it will probably kill me eventually before anything else does, but we all die of something.

There are ways to fight ms, slow it down at least. When you're ready, look for them. But yeah. It's a huge loss. Don't minimize that, to yourself at least.

[Seasha]

I am sorry you have MS. I am sorry we all do. You are grieving the loss of what was and entering the stages of what it. Something that all of us at one time have, or are dealing with, along side of you.

I agree with Pipes that you shouldn't rush through the sadness. Feel it and express it with every once of your being. Your situation is unique to you and no one really knows your pain and sadness better than you. For myself, I think that crying helps me get the sadness out creating more space within to let more lightness in. Acceptance eventually will come sometimes down this winding road in its own time.

There is a great site I want to share with you on the 7 stages of grief. Bear in mind that "there is no neat progression from one stage to the next. In reality, there is much looping back, or stages can hit at the same time, or occur out of order. "

http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-...-of-grief.html

I have been where you are in my MS journey and found that working with a therapist really helped me work through these stages towards the road to acceptance. She reminded me to not set any time limit as I worked with her through these stages.

You are not alone wizardsmom. I wish you eventual peace with all that you are going through

[Cat Mom]

Time is the best source of acceptance, personally. I think you're in the right place here, I wish I found it when first dx. Support is so important, especially at the beginning. I hope we can help guide you through.
Jen

[Mable]

Nobody freaked out worse than I did! I was diagnosed with PTSD as a result. What a baby, huh?

What keeps me going is reading about the progress they're making in research for the disease. Drugs like Tysabri and Lemtrada mean that, for those of us with relapsing remitting disease, MS isn't what it was for older generations. And I think in just a matter of months we're going to start having treatments for progressive disease, too.

Early on, I wrote myself a little pep talk, as though I were talking to someone I loved who had just been diagnosed. I review that from time to time.

I still mourn my old healthy self, though. And every time I see someone trot down a flight of stairs, I get a little jealous. But the truth is that I haven't been disease free in a long time. I lived a pretty full life with MS before I knew I had it.

Everyone told me it takes about a year to get used to the DX. I think that's about right. You'll find your way.

[wizardsmom6]

Thank you so much!

Thank you to those that answered my question. My family seems to think I've "lost it" because although they are coming to terms with it. I'm not. They don't understand why I don't want to use a cane when I go out for a walk. Or why I'm so sensitive to the possibility of progression.

Thank you my friends for being there and not judging me!

[Mrsparsons]

Cane

I finally broke down and got my first cane a few months ago. I am actually so glad I did. I have found that, although I get looks from people wondering why this young person has a cane, so many people are kind and hold doors open for me. It really does keep me safer. I would fall a lot before and have not fallen for quite a while. I don't always use it, but it does come in handy when the muscle stiffness kicks in later in the day. I have two of them---one folds up and I can just throw it in my purse or whatever bag I am carrying.