@ MS Newbies Lounge, Feb 10, 2013

[gomer]

Welcome to.......Newbies Lounge
a special weekly thread & haven for our family of newbies Dx'd w/MS and newbies at heart, or just want to help.

Being a newbie can be just as scary and lonely as being in limbo. When I first got my formal MS dx, I felt lost, alone and tossed into a sea of hungry sharks.

Take a well deserved break from your travels on the MSuper highway,(exit Rest Area 51) pull into a nice cozy shady parking spot, Unwind in our Newbies Lounge, pitch a tent or just lay out a blanket and enjoy the crisp cool fresh air. Help yourself to fresh Cider and donuts. The camp fire is roaring in the open pit ready for hot dogs, marshmallows and smore's Feel free to share your ideas, experiences and support to your fellow newbies. Relax, you are among friends, friends that understand. We have a virtual soap box, feel free to vent anytime.

We have fresh cookies,brownies (Chocohaulic here) and red velvet brownies etc Free for all, just follow the fresh coffee aroma.

This week, I need to get labs done for my PCP and see my cardiologist.

PLEASE.... Let US know how YOU, a member of our MS newbies family is doing.

Have a QUESTION? Please don't be shy........
The only dumb stupid question........is the one NOT asked.

How was your Week?........

Any Dr.apts tests etc coming up?


Now Y'all B good and don't 4get 2 Check IN,
we miss or MSIAs!

Gomer Sir Falls-a-lot

Moderator: this replaces the previous sticky, thanks.

[gomer]

Gomer here…..

Well I got up and around this morning. Today is our 40th anniversary, I left a nice card propped by her coffee maker last nite. This morning the only thing she said to me was she did NOT want to get out today. The weather is good (for a winter day) the sun is shinning and cold but not too cold. She always likes to go out to eat, but I guess not today, and NO rational reason.

I was planning to take her/US to Bob Evan’s, nothing too fancy or expensive, just a meal out and good food. I guess that is not near good enough for her. I would never again take her to a real fancy place like Paris Las Vegas, did that about 10 years ago and it was a disaster, a romantic get-away that for me was worse than a waste. She has an ability to torpedo what are, or would be great moments.

Kinda, in a way bums me out. I know I rate low on the totem-pole with her, she keeps me at a distance, but does help a little with some of my insulin and Copaxone injections. If I need something more she calls on one of the boys.

Over our 40 years she has never even oncer visited me in the hospital, (even refused neighbor/church baby sitters so she could). When I was taken to ER and admitted (& Dx’d w/diabetes), in for a kidney problem, had cancer surgery etc. I know she was disappointed I am not wealthy and healthy, but that’s life. I guess 4 decades & 4 kids plus 3 grand kids and everything we survived together means little to her.

Sorry for the downer post, but my day is a bit shattered at the moment. I love the one I am with, but I guess oposites do attract.

Gomer Sir Falls-a-lot

[CaroleL]

Ahhh Gomer I'm so sorry!

Short of telling you to run her out of the house with a frying pan, I don't know what to say.

I'm sad that you don't have a loving supporting spouse. It seems to me that you deserve so much more.

Would she ever agree to councelling?

Love the person that you are! Wether or not she recognizes the person that you are. Don't let your happiness depend on others.

Sending you a huge cyber HUG!!!!!!

p.s. You much loved and appreciated here!

[gomer]

I got ready to go, as planned and she asked me where I was going. I told her I was going with or without her and she decided to go with me. She was actually quite civil and we had a good lunch. She is stuborn and proud of it.

Back in the mid 80s when I was having a rough time, in oncology followup, felt like a dead man walking (now we know it was the MS) and more; the social worker/counselor wanted to meet with her, she refused.

I give her extra leeway, she lost her mother to diabetes/kidney when she was a teen. Her brother was also a type-1 diabetic, not well controled and into drugs. Her dad was an alcoholic and raised partly by her good grandparents. She failed driver ed several times, teachers gave up, I succeded in teaching her to drive. She drove reasonably well for quite a few years. I bought her a car whe wanted, but she tired of it quickly and crashed it in one of our kids cars in the driveway and into the garage. That's when I pulled her keys. Never ever get in her way!


She got into an argument with our daughter one summer and she went on a eating strike that landed her in the hospital & nearly killed her. Our daughter used to wait till she went to bed to visit then quit visiting us at our home.

I try and always do what is right and proper, regardless of what others do. At least today ended a little better than it started.

Gomer Sir Falls-a-lot

[Min]

Gomer Anniversary

Oh Gomer I am so sorry that your 40th Anniversary was not as good as it should have been.

You seem to be such a lovely, loving person with all the help you offer to everyone here at MS World.

Can't help comparing your celebration with mine, my 50th and Golden, we had a really lovely meal and day out, but my DH is as loving to me as you seem to be towards your DW, and I feel the same way towards him, he is my rock.

Just wanted to let you know that you are appreciated and loved by all here and many thanks for your help, and love, are sent you way,

Big Hugs

Min

[journeyman]

So Sorry!!!

Just got around to reading everything. I was out of contact for about four days. I am sorry to hear about all the goings on for you.

I just checked the 10 phone messages and heard your voice but several cataclysmic things going on here.

To sum it up in a few words. "Dad just moved in." I will need more than prayer to keep from commuting a homicide between now and his end. Glad my wife and caretaker is caretaking me while I am caretaking him. I was so stressed over the past few day I have to admit I switched my water at dinner for Vodka.

Things are going so much better now. That was pretty rash for me but I had had all I could take and it's just starting.

Gomer I will try to give you a call in the next day or so probably during his nap time.
Dave
"Journeyman"

[journeyman]

GOMER

I just got a chance to read all of the posts here. Gomer I feel for you. You are such an up-beat guy than I never guessed what you were going through.

I am really sorry to read all of that. You know we love you here and you know this is a place to vent. You need to be human and stop trying to hold all of us up and not letting us hold you up in your trying moments. Good grief when I think back about the things that I have said here and you have always been a bastion of support to me and others.

When we tell others to let us support them that goes for you to. We are here for you too. Let us be your ear for your vents.

I wish you could be here. I am sure a dose of Grouper sandwich and Key Lime pie would at least take the edge off.

Look at me. I drank last night. I am one for an occasional drink or a glass of wine. But last night I drank for all the wrong reasons - to get away from my problems. That's the start of something bad and my family has a history of alcoholism. I will not let that get hold of me.

Please pray for me today as I begin to lay down some ground rules. I am sure that will be difficult as he already thinks he has to, "walk on eggshells and not express his opinion." This is tough for all of us but I feel this is his last year of life and I want to try to be friends for it. We have never been much for talking to each other and this is forcing us to be civil even if you doesn't understand that.

Gomer you have lifted us all up so much please let us be here for you. We love and worry about you. You already have so much going on - let us support you for a change.
Your buddy
Dave
"Journeyman"

[Cira]

Gomer- I don't know what to say, other than I'm sorry you don't have the loving, supportive partner that you very much deserve. You are always such a strong, positive presence here & I know you are loved & appreciated by many on these boards. I hope that we can be of some help to you & give you some of the support that you're not getting at home.

Dave- You've been in my thoughts. I hope that things go well for you as you get your dad settled in. I can only imagine how difficult this all is, but I think it's pretty incredible that you're doing what you know to be the right thing, in spite of how hard it is- not everyone would do that.

As for me, I saw the MS specialist yesterday. I was very nervous, but it went very well & turned out to be a great experience. Full details are in a post somewhere below, but in a nutshell, I'm doing well & recovering well & he thinks we have a good chance of keeping it that way for awhile.

[Min]

Journeyman

My heart goes out to you as well as to Gomer.

You too seem to have had the world dumped on your shoulders at the moment and things must be very difficult to handle, you now being the carer for your father whilst trying to come to terms with your own problems.

At least you do have your own angel carer to love and look after you.

You and Gomer have given so much help, love and pleasure to me personally , just love the banter between the two of you.

Please remember, as you said to Gomer, come here to vent, cry, let off steam, anything that wil help you deal with the crisis you are in at home.

Really hope that things turn out OK between you and your father and that it will not be too stressful

With love and many thanks

Min

[gomer]

Jman Dav....if U recall I had Coconut cream pie our first bayside lunch.... I won't 4get... before I could get out of Tampa I had to pull into a Wend's to unload some liquid and take more insulin.... 4 others here, we are both quite verbouse...(got to talking) and I 4got to take extra insulin for the pie...ha ha.

Jman may be like me, short, but he has ultrawide (big) shoulders...ha ha. Remember stay away from steps, but now I have to add fire-water to the list as well. Play with fire (water or other) and ya likely to get brurned! I am glad you recognize the risks.

Glad to see our newbies lounge full of newbies (and newbies @ ) here this week.

I have had a busy week (+tired gumby stix) I forgot to keep a lab draw...ouch! Went by to reschedule (and apologize profusely) and they worked me in. So my labs (for kidney monitoring) are done for an upcoming Dr. apt

Gomer Sir Falls-a-lot

[journeyman]

Changing things.

Dad is going back to his home an hour north of here for a month. He says that there is too much confusion here and my daughter is due to deliver my other grandson in two weeks. This way we can get is own room ready for him and that way he will have is own space. His neighbor up there is his caretaker but she will need her own soon. So that one of the reasons he's with us.

I think his idea is good and they take good care of him and in a month we will have our brains back in order, he will be more sure of needing our help and his own space will finally be ready for him.

So, perhaps a breath of fresh air is in order for all of us.

Thanks so much for all of your support. You guys are great.
Dave
"Journeyman"

[CaroleL]

That's good news Journeyman!

Enjoy the break, lol!

[Min]

Journeyman

Yes good news indeed and time to get yourselves sorted out and prepared for his eventual return.

Good luck to you and good wishes

Love Min

[journeyman]

UUUrrrggg!!!

His caretakers husband just had surgery and turned up with that lethal infection MRSA. She can't have any contact with Dad so you know who is going up to stay with him and cook for him.

Perhaps he will be coming back here sooner than I thought. Pray for me and him. No way to contact with you from there. Can't even use a cell phone.

Oh well, time to toughen up.
Dave
"Journeyman"

[CaroleL]

Journeyman!!!

What a mess! I'd be drinking that beer all on my own! Lmbo!

Can't your father get some kind of "meals on wheels". I know that in Canada we have that kind of delivery for those who are challenged.

It seems to me like you already have your hands full with your own issues. I'm praying for you my friend!

Maybe somebody close to your dad would like to volunteer?

I hope you find a solution that's beneficial for all involved.

(ps don't even think of putting hot sauce on all his meals so that he won't like your cooking!!!!) LMBO!!!

Best of luck!