It's island time - limbo check in 8/21/2012

[lusciousleaves]

Happy sunshine and beaches!

Glad to hear the storms have cleared and you're feeling better. MVM, I'm so happy for you going on vacation with your hubby to the beach. That is exciting!

I hear you on the lawn mowing. I got a good look at ours today and thought I might surprise hubs with a trimmed front lawn today. We might be getting what's left of that hurricane this weekend. After the 3 inch rainfall the other day, if it doesn't get mowed before another storm, we might need scythes to cut through it.

MRI tomorrow for the abdomen. Spasms still trying to grab hold, but I keep beating them back with all of the weapons in my toolbox. One of these tests has got to show something. I'm ready for a conclusion to this.

Dave, I may ask for one of those neuro/psych tests after all. I'm contemplating taking on a challenging course of study and would like to know if my intellect and memory are up to the job. Sometimes I wonder if they are, which is sad because three years ago there would have been no question about it. There is no point in making the investment if my faculties are in a rapid free fall or expected to continue going downward.

[journeyman]

LUSC, Trudging-onward

I guess dedication and finding other ways to learn to do things other than the standard front door technique. I am doing things that I couldn't do before.

And somethings I just will never be able to do. (this is a man secret - I watch "So You Think You Can Dance) with my wife and am so jealous of those people as well as get goosebumps from their passion. I even took contemporary dance and voice in college. Apparently I have no sense of rhythm and they tell me and apparently I never did. But I can express myself by painting. So I do that instead.

It's all in your passion. I love passion and art. However there are only a few outlets through which I can express that.

DON'T let the Neuro/psych results get you down ! They can make you feel worse than your did. I am one of those people when someone tells me I am incapable of doing something I vow to prove them wrong. Dance and voice are apparently birth defects for me. I will never do them. But I am not incapable of expressing myself. So don't let it kill your spirit.

E-mail me when you get the results and I'll be glad to go through them with you to help you see the positives that may have been stolen from you by the test.

After having had that test twice and when I worked in the psych unit they had us take an annual MMPI. (over 400 questions). The meaning of the initials is not important but they gave us the sealed results and offered to go through it with us. I chose to do that. Unfortunately it was all true. But it armed me against some problematic areas that I vowed to change. The other valuable test that changed my life for the better was a video taping of me being me.

I used to do teaching "soap operas" with a cast, lighting and etc. NO SCRIPT. Just the concept. Unfortunately or fortunately when we were not acting and just being ourselves the camera was kept running. That was my first shocker.

Another time I was doing a teaching lecture that lasted a total of three hours ! Oh my God - three hours of looking at myself.

It was a course on working a crisis telephone line here in Tampa with about 200 participants. After that "test" I realized there were a lot of things about me, facial movements, body movements, gestures and ways of expressing myself need a serious re-do. I have seen myself since then and am much happier with the new me.

No matter what the feedback method it is our job to keep finding avenues for self improvement and ways around road blocks. We must keep working and improving ourselves with that which we possesses in our "toolbox."

It is not easy and I get sad and even cry at times at the struggle but eventually I keep picking myself up or my wife picks me up. I keep trudging on.

OK. Enough of the soap box. Just keep trudging on.
Dave Tampa, FL
"Journeyman"

[lusciousleaves]

Seeing oneself on camera can be an eye opener. I've not seen myself on camera more than a few times, but the image I saw and how I see myself are two different things. Aren't they always? I do not have a high self-monitor, and it's always been hard for me to see myself how others might.

Now I'm back to not considering any course of study. Just can't seem to make up my mind about what to do next. I'm going to take the easy way out this time and keep moving forward with what I've already got. I might still be able to transform it into something new and beautiful. Thank you for the inspiration. We are made to adapt to changes. It's what we do through our entire lives. This is nothing new, really.

Still waiting to hear back on the recent tests. I'm assuming they won't show anything. The abdominal MRI looked perfectly fine to me, but I don't know what I'm looking at. Nobody called, so I'm sure there is nothing urgent hiding in there. The spasms are finally fading out now. Good riddance.

They might have to start marketing MRIs as a healing device. It seems every time I have one, the symptoms they're looking to pinpoint a cause for disappear a day or two later.

I had to spend a couple of hours outside weeding the garden today. My body seems to have had its fill of the heat for the year. It didn't give me much trouble earlier in the season, but it seems to be accumulating as summer wears on. It can start cooling off now. I'm ready for some cooler weather.

I hope everyone is having a nice holiday weekend.