Irony

[hmarie47]

As a "lesbian" (word I hate, because noun used where an adjective would suffice: annoying), it is entirely ironic that my MS symptoms (so far) have included limited use/feeling of my hands and face. Not trying to be inappropriate, but the eye-roll inducing (oh, what's what's messed up for you?) is kind of funny.

Going for humor, here. MS --> killing sex. Great. Thanks.

This would be hilarious if it didn't suck.

[Selsia]

hmarie47,

I just had to respond because I hate to see you put yourself out there and not get a response. That is in fact, ironic. Ironic, funny, and probably a bit frustrating.

However, that does not foreclose all your options when you are, um, enjoying time with your lady. There are a ton of other options out there for you two to enjoy your time together. One of the great things about being gay is that you already had to break the mold on what you were taught about sex.

If your symptoms are killing your sex life, it may be time to have your own queer film/L word marathon. See if any of those present other options.

Good luck, hope you are feeling better!

[blissfuldrake]

Don't give up...

My partner of 14 years has developed many different chronic conditions, including fibromyalgia. She also has COPD, among a half a dozen others. She can't stand to be touched most of the time, and when she can be touched, she can't breathe.

Granted, this is not me and the MS I struggle with...but I can understand the frustration you must be feeling.

Now, the odd snuggle or kiss are precious.

And I love my massaging, hand held shower head. Hey, that may be an option for you, too...LOL Instead of, "come fly away with me" you could say, "come get clean with me"

[hmarie47]

don't worry

haha. Thanks for the tips?

Not only are both my hands and face functional "enough," but I'm more creative than the people (including myself) who think my particular plethora of (relatively minor, so far, thank goodness) symptoms are sheer irony.

Also I'm in law school, and single, and that combination has done more to demolish any (current) hope of a remotely interesting sex life than MS ever will (seriously, law school is a great antidote to getting laid.)

I'm not particularly upset about any of this..... I just try to find reasons to laugh at myself as much as possible.

[Adeline]

Hmarie47, I’m chuckling at the “Irony” you mentioned, it does help to find humor in ALL aspects of this illness. I’m a single lesbian and have not had sex since a major MS attack in 2008 and my partner left after my diagnosis in 2010. Even if I were to be in a relationship again I’m not sure where I would find the stamina for sex. I need all my energy to make it through the day. My new partner would have to be understanding, patient, have self control, a good imagination and understand you can make love without having sex.

So you asked, ‘what’s messed up with you?” Just a few of many, my hands are more functional than two years ago but my facial muscles (more specifically my tongue) have declined, speech and eating are often a problem. I’m often short of breath and have regular pain in my legs and ribs. I’m dizzy all of the time but to varying degrees and have ringing in my ears day and night. I’m quite a catch! Hahaha.

It’s great that you try to find reasons to laugh at yourself as much as possible; humor has really helped me get through some morbid moments. It’s great that you are pushing through your MS symptoms to get through law school, that’s not easy for someone without MS. If we can keep our humor while we lose all else…we keep the best part of ourselves.

[hmarie47]

Adeline,

Your former partner, if they left re: MS, is an ***.

Not my business, just had to put that out there. But as far as I'm concerned, humor > sex, and anyone who doesn't get this doesn't get to date me. And really, shouldn't get to date anyone else....

[reason # 36 or so, after law school, bad teeth, pickiness, not being a vegan, preferring dogs over cats, returning text messages days late, dressing like an un-stylish 12 year old boy who raided his mom's closet, and being generally unwilling to "process" mine or anyone else's feelings that I'm single. All of which I find pretty entertaining, because, you know, stereotypes are funny.]