Have you ever felt like dying?

[Tawanda]

Trace,

i know you're probably feeling really down still. but PLEASE drop a short note and let us know how you're doing
.
there's a lot of loving, caring people here who would love to know.

you're still in my thoughts and prayers!

if you have those thoughts again, you can contact me by going to my stats(click on people's name at top of messge and that stuff comes up) and email me or on board here, or at least call a live person on the suicide line 1-800-273-8255, a great bunch of people who want to help you.

we really care about what's going on with you.:rose

hang in there!
take care and God bless ya!

I'd love to hear from you, too. I was hoping by this time you would have resurfaced on this post.

I don't feel like dying, but I don't fear it either.

[lilSarah]

Feel the same way all to often...

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I have the very same feelings a lot of the time. And yes I'm very medicated as well. It seems like they add another diagnosis every time it talk to them about it. I have depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder now. I too have gained weight, which really doesn't help with the self pity. I know it sounds horrible but at least there are so many of us that are going threw the same things. You came to the right place if your just needing a little pick me up. I hope you feel better and please email me if you ever just need someone to talk too.

***Email address removed per MSWorld guidelines. You may put it in your Profile where all registered, logged-in members can see it.***

Lil Sarah

[Sdickerson1]

It's easy to give up .. Ihave wanted to myself! I think my husband may leave me and our three girls... I feel quitting would be so easy but I live each day for my girls!! Don't give up!! Sending Gods love to u!!!
Stacy

[poohb3ar]

I hope you're feeling better, Trace.
I've noticed lately when I'm watching TV about 9/11,I think to myself, if I was on a plane that was hi-jacked, I'd be one of the people who attacks the hi-jackers.
I'm not brave, I just don't care anymore. I'm tired of evil people who don't appreciate their health or who want to do harm to others. Why live a long life? So I can get more & more debilitated???
On the other hand, you've received some great support here & I also appreciate the responses. I like the idea of seeking out a therapist & think it's time I do that myself.
Please let us know how you're doing.

candy cane, good for you for deciding to see out therapy! it's not easy thing to decide! glad you found the courage to do
it!
praying that you'll find the help and answers you need.

Trace,
if you're still reading on here and don't want to post you can send me or anyother moderators a message to let us know how you're doing.
just click on our name (ie. poohb3ar) and it'll show you the email address we have here that's private. i'd love to know how you are and would be glad to help in anyway i can.

take care & God bless ya!

[sunshine008]

Trace your very smart......

I read through your post and everyone else's response.

I sat and thought wow shes' hurting (YOU) yet you knew exactly what to do "reach out". Reaching out is the number 1 thing to do when you feel so low and just lifeless and numb. You seem to be saying you feel NUMBED out by it all. You dont' want to smile, eat, cry. So, that tells me your ready to fight, you may not feel it yet your will is so strong.

Life isnt' easy, MS def. makes it more challenging. Do I ever get tired? YUP. Do I ever feel like oh man i dont' know if i can do this? YUP.

Do you know what helps me the nights i feel down, lost and kinda in shock with all that's life's thrown me not just my disease,my daughte'rs mental illness, my teenager who is just all over the map most days, the ex whose still so difficult, my stepkids who (long story) haven't been here in 3 mos. and i miss them, or the fact i'm an abuse survivor?

EVERYTHING. that's what helps me..... I look around it can be a tree, my stupid dog who drives me nuts, the smiles on my kids faces, a really good cheat of pizza, or it can a shower that i turn on really warm for a change and walk out not swelled up for a change.

Literally i'll grasp at anything I can to get me thru. I immediately get sleep as well. Sleep makes everything better. A new day is a new start at life. Sounds silly yet it is. Take it hour by hour if you have to for right now, than tmrw. a few hours at a time, day by day. whatever works. also get your dr. to check your meds. Alot of ssri's carry with it the feeling your feeling right now.

things to remember:

Accept the things you cannot change, and change the things you can. the wisdom to know the difference, and you sound like one smart woman so you def. get the difference.

You have a family that loves you
You have people here that clearly care so very much and do not even know you. how amazing is that?

Most of all you have you. which right now may seem like it sucks and yea pity parties are a good time and honestly sometimes necessary. Yet you are a remarkable, strong woman with whom keeps on fighting the fight, finding solutions it seems and working them.

First order of business is:

do something amazingly great for you. I dont' care what it is make it all about you. Remember the loves in life you used to have and force yourself to do it.

When your done go get a small notebook, and name it your gratitude journal. Now you may not want to hear this right now, yet I dont' care....... I've been where you are, and trust me it works. Each day in the beginning of your day write down ONE thing you are grateful for. doesn't matter what it is write it down.

Your going to be great, and your going to be fine. Venting here is awesome and great, and i'm so glad you did it as i'm sure everyone else is. Yet i think i can speak for everyone else when i say you touched us with this post, ppl you dont' even know are thinking about you...... and YES you need to update when you can.

thinking of you sending lots of hugs....... this too shall pass truly it will.

[Nicolemarie1313]

Sick of being tough!

All I hear is you'll be fine your tough. You'll get through this. I have been through alot of problems with back painand all but now throw the ms on top I feel like giving up. In all reality I wouldn't hurt myself but I understand where your coming from. Sometimes I feel there's no light at the end of the tunnel and is there going to be a day I feel human. I am so tired sometimes I'm fighting to keep my eyes open so I can care for my two youngest boys which are 1 and 3. I hare what I make my family go through seeing me like this also. It's hard on them to. I have always been strong but don't feel strong anymore.

[empirerecs]

hi Nicolemarie -
I understand how you feel. I don't have children but I have a very strong BF with an even more debilitating disease than me and you would never know it - he's like the energizer bunny on steroids. I feel like a slug and a whiner everyday. But you know what, we don't have to be strong every day - that's too hard. We can have a day where we just cry or whatever it takes to get all the emotion out. I know that you think you are showing your family horrible things from you but I bet they understand and are not faulting you for it. It's hard for kids that young though, they just don't get it. Is there someone can come help you a couple times a week for a few hours so you can have some alone time to rest?

I'm not going to tell you you will be fine cuz you are tough, you are like all of us and have bad days. I'm not fine or tough all the time either. Not today, that's for sure. But I do wish you the best and you do deserve a hug because you are doing your best.