A bad day for me mentally

[Ant1981]

I don’t wanna keep posting, and be annoying but I’m so lonely and I got absolutely no one to talk to.

Im at school and talk minimally to other students and staff but nothing that is meaningful really to vent my true feelings

im very lonely, and seems like no one cares, I’ve got friends that can’t be bothered during the week but I try and remain positive it’s just hard on days like today.

im constantly still thinking of my dx and having lost my girlfriend, a very sick mother, an absent father, I’m getting low on my funds, feels like I’m slowly slipping into depression. I’ve never been depressed before but it seems like no one really cares about me all that much, I’m just kinda like a lone wolf now and craving contact with someone.

Im doing all the good things like trying to stick to my goal of working out in the gym at 5:30 AM every morning so far mom/tues is accomplished. I am working but not making much and it’s very isolating just being a courier.

School is ending in a week then I got a long break till sept. 19’.

i really hope things will chg significantly before my diploma is completed in 2-3 years. My mom is very weak and I’m doing well in regards to my MS but the fallout after the changes from the dx are still being felt.

just another rant, I’m really feeling so frustrated, angry, isolated, lonely and sad. I just want to be happier.

[Seasha]

Hi Ant - first, let me tell you that you are NOT annoying by any means. You must believe that - OK? You are lonely, frustrated and sad and need someone to talk to - that's why we are here and it's the mission of this site to address and help those who feel isolated!

You are still newly dx as far as I'm concerned and are still going through the grieving process. This path that many of us have traveled is like taking two steps forward and one step back. Even after almost 30 years, I find myself at times doing this. The grieving I sometimes feel is almost as real as it was so many years ago. I too, try to mask this with keeping busy as I possibly can, only to find that it's sometimes still there in my face.

I don't have any words of wisdom except to be easy on yourself. What I did to help alleviate the anxiety and depression I felt was to check in with a licensed therapist who thought I'd be a good candidate for an anxiety and depression med. She also was one I could pore my heart out to and she listened without judgement. I followed her advice about the meds and never looked back. It has made a huge difference in my way of thinking. Yea, I still have MS and feel all sorts of emotions, but the difference was seeing all this through a different lens. It's hard to explain, but I see the reality as watching myself through a higher self awareness.

Meditation has helped along with the meds.

Is taking a prescription for anxiety and depression something you might consider?
Is seeking the help of a therapist also something you might consider? Maybe the school has a mental health counselor that would be easy access for you and not cost $?

I don't usually write so much, but I wanted to let you know that you are thought of and I wish you well.

[sarabeach123]

Hi Ant - is your neurologist part of an MS centre, or just alone in the practice? If they are part of a team of people, then it might be possible that they have a psychiatrist on the team as well, or at least associated with the practice. I was able to access a psychiatrist through my MS clinic at no cost. I prefer a psychiatrist because there was absolutely no pressure to even consider meds, as a psychologist doesn't prescribe medication. The very hardest time for me came about 1 year after being diagnosed. It wasn't all MS things that I was struggling with, but really MS was part of it.

[Mamabug]

Hi Ant - I agree that therapy could benefit you. Meds are sometimes helpful; other times they are pushed when not necessary.

I was able to access a psychiatrist through my MS clinic at no cost. I prefer a psychiatrist because there was absolutely no pressure to even consider meds, as a psychologist doesn't prescribe medication.

I found this post confusing.

Psychiatrists are trained medical doctors, they can prescribe medications, and they spend much of their time with patients on medication management.

Psychologists focus on psychotherapy and treating emotional and mental suffering in patients with behavioral intervention.

I prefer to start with a psychologist, rather than a psychiatrist.
In my experience, a psychologist is less likely to push medication but can refer you to a psychiatrist if they believe you might benefit.

In the meantime, try exercise (walks, yoga, tai chi), sunshine, meditation, listening to music, social interaction with others, etc .

[pennstater]

Agree that you are still in the newly diagnosed criteria. You have had so many changes that it is only normal to grieve part of your old life as well.

Did I read right that break is til next September? That is a long break. Will you add more work during this period?

If you have time, maybe find a club or two you could join for shared interests. I think you run - is there a running club near you. They often meet once or twice a week? It might give you an opportunity to socialize a little more.

MS can be lonely and isolating at times, but we all get it. Sometimes the isolation is real, other times, it may be our own actions isolating us from family and friends. Either way, it happens.

Do yourself a favor. If you feel depression coming on, please get help. Don't wait until it is full blown. You may just need some therapy, but you may also need meds. And don't fear meds - it doesn't have to mean lifetime. Sometimes it may just be situational depression that alleviates.

Keep doing all the positives you are. And keep posting, both the good and the bad - we all know the feelings. Hang in.

[Leenyi]

Lot of great suggestions. Just remember we all get it and were here for you to vent to.
Plus we love following your story. You have really come a long way. It's great you're back in school. You could join a study group.
Hang in there!
Ei

[Boudreaux]

Such is life Bro....We all go through ups and downs. You have to detach from your feelings and try to approach it from a logical perspective. You and your girl broke up...good, you can focus on yourself and getting better. Break from school....good, you can use the time to focus on your training and diet. When you find yourself dwelling in the not so good thoughts, put it to bed, get up and move in the right direction.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdTMDpizis8

[sarabeach123]

Whoops sorry, I got them backwards. I always get them confused

Hi Ant - I agree that therapy could benefit you. Meds are sometimes helpful; other times they are pushed when not necessary.


I found this post confusing.

Psychiatrists are trained medical doctors, they can prescribe medications, and they spend much of their time with patients on medication management.

Psychologists focus on psychotherapy and treating emotional and mental suffering in patients with behavioral intervention.

I prefer to start with a psychologist, rather than a psychiatrist.
In my experience, a psychologist is less likely to push medication but can refer you to a psychiatrist if they believe you might benefit.

In the meantime, try exercise (walks, yoga, tai chi), sunshine, meditation, listening to music, social interaction with others, etc .

[ladybug162]

You’re not annoying in the least. Keep posting! Lots of great people here to offer awesome advice! Also what you post may be very helpful to other people who might be going through the same thing. Just to know they aren’t alone you know? So don’t ever feel like your posts are annoying.

[Temagami]

Doesn´t help that the days are shorter and you may be sensitive to the lack of light.
For a while I had a timer attached to the light on my nightstand and it was set to turn on a half hour before the alarm went off. Even with your eyes closed, there is a benefit to the light exposure.

There is something called anticipatory grief and that may apply in your situation re your Mom. If so, it´s worth reading about.

[Ant1981]

Thanks again everyone

I don’t think I got a depression coming on, I usually get back at er’ as I am constantly keeping myself busy.

im just particularly down today and it shifts and I’m sure I’ll be up yet down again.

im meeting a pastor from the new church I found and going to talk to him for an introduction and ask about volunteering.

I am looking to stay on my training regimen, and fully commit this time. 4am wake and a 5;30 am workout with some running, weightlifting and a hearty breakfast after, (eggs, toast, bacon, coffee and orange juice) as it sets me up for the day. School is on break.. long break till sept. yes. I’m looking to a friend with a successful landscaping construction business and going to ask if I can join one of his crews. For the spring/summer season before I head to school. Also look for a cheap apartment near school. Keep attending church sermons and volunteer. After reading a pastors thoughts online I’ve discovered that surrendering to the lord and prayer with belief and faith in that a woman will come when god thinks it’s time, not me. In the meantime I have a huge opportunity to improve myself.

To boudreau: jocko inspirational speech was awesome, something bad or challenging comes up “good”. Thanks for that.

and to everyone else that replied I really feel such a strong support system behind me and that makes a huge difference

im gonna keep pushing and with that I am making new discoveries and learning about myself more and more each day.

[KoKo]

im gonna keep pushing and with that I am making new discoveries and learning about myself more and more each day.

Hi Ant

All things considered, you are demonstrating a great deal of perseverance and tenacity.

Sharing your experiences here, benefits us as well.

Take Care

[Ant1981]

Life is hard

Ok after all this thinking and my perseverance it’s time to get on my warpath (jocko willink: thx boudreau &#128077 not half arse it, don’t take the easy route, the shortcut cause there isn’t one.

All you members give me the support and extra motivation wen things get overwhelming at times.

onward into the unknown and years of hard work to get back to the top 💪

[Mamabug]

onward into the unknown

Onward!....

[Daisycat]

Ok after all this thinking and my perseverance it’s time to get on my warpath (jocko willink: thx boudreau &#128077 not half arse it, don’t take the easy route, the shortcut cause there isn’t one.

All you members give me the support and extra motivation wen things get overwhelming at times.

onward into the unknown and years of hard work to get back to the top 💪

Im wishing you the best ant. You are always an inspiration to me.