I don’t tell a lot of people that I have MS. Only my family and a couple close friends know and I regret telling one of those people whom I thought was a friend.
At my previous job I got really close to one of my co-workers. We both started working there the same time and ended up becoming best friends. Anyway, eventually my work started to suffer because I wasn’t able to complete the work load I was required to do. Basically, I wasn’t working fast enough and wasn’t meeting my quota.
This girl whom I thought was my friend started questioning me about it and saying things like “the supervisors are really keeping tabs on us and watching to see if we are meeting our quota and I notice you are struggling to keep up. Is there anything I can do to help you with this?”
I felt bad because I had no idea until this point that people were noticing I wasn’t keeping up. I also felt like I knew her well enough that I could tell her. I told her to please keep it between us though as no one else knew, especially our supervisors. She gave me her word so I told her I had MS. Granted, I wasn’t even sure that me not being able to keep up with my work load had anything to do with MS. Anyway, her response was not what I had expected. She basically said “I’m sorry you have MS, but you knew you had it before taking this job. You knew what you were getting into and it’s not fair to us (meaning her and the other co-workers) that we have to pick up your slack and take on extra work because you can’t keep up.”
I was so floored I didn’t know what to say. I had no idea how MS was going to affect me and did not know how difficult this job would be for me. I also found out the next day that she told another one of our co-workers which really upset me. She has been cold towards me ever since and no longer talks to me.
I’ve noticed my family treats me different too. Like the other day I was around some of my extended family and my mother was talking to her sister. She made the comment that there was only two of us kids left to get married, my cousin and younger brother. I never got brought up in the conversation. On one hand I’m relieved because I’m not being hounded about finding someone and settling down like they used to do before I was diagnosed. However, on the other hand it makes me feel kind of worthless. Like they no longer expect me to find someone because of this disease....as if I’m damaged now and no one would want me.
Also it seems like every decision I make I’m reminded of this disease. My mother, even though I know she means well and is only trying to help me....she constantly reminds me saying things like “well you need to think about how your ms is going to affect you before you do this or make that decision,” or “what are you going to do when your father and I are gone? Who is going to be there to help and take care of you?” I understand that I need to think about these things. It’s just that at 35, it’s not something I want on my mind everyday. I’m still fully functional even though I know something could happen any day. Even if I don’t think of it, my mom is right there to remind me. Always asking what am I going to do? Well I guess I’d go into an assisted living facility or something.
It’s just little things like these which make me feel different. Like I’m not treated equally because I have a disease. I feel like I can’t live a normal life without constant reminders that I am different. It’s just yet another reason why I don’t tell people I have MS. The less they know the better.
So I was just curious if you guys got treated any differently by people who know your diagnosis?
At my previous job I got really close to one of my co-workers. We both started working there the same time and ended up becoming best friends. Anyway, eventually my work started to suffer because I wasn’t able to complete the work load I was required to do. Basically, I wasn’t working fast enough and wasn’t meeting my quota.
This girl whom I thought was my friend started questioning me about it and saying things like “the supervisors are really keeping tabs on us and watching to see if we are meeting our quota and I notice you are struggling to keep up. Is there anything I can do to help you with this?”
I felt bad because I had no idea until this point that people were noticing I wasn’t keeping up. I also felt like I knew her well enough that I could tell her. I told her to please keep it between us though as no one else knew, especially our supervisors. She gave me her word so I told her I had MS. Granted, I wasn’t even sure that me not being able to keep up with my work load had anything to do with MS. Anyway, her response was not what I had expected. She basically said “I’m sorry you have MS, but you knew you had it before taking this job. You knew what you were getting into and it’s not fair to us (meaning her and the other co-workers) that we have to pick up your slack and take on extra work because you can’t keep up.”
I was so floored I didn’t know what to say. I had no idea how MS was going to affect me and did not know how difficult this job would be for me. I also found out the next day that she told another one of our co-workers which really upset me. She has been cold towards me ever since and no longer talks to me.
I’ve noticed my family treats me different too. Like the other day I was around some of my extended family and my mother was talking to her sister. She made the comment that there was only two of us kids left to get married, my cousin and younger brother. I never got brought up in the conversation. On one hand I’m relieved because I’m not being hounded about finding someone and settling down like they used to do before I was diagnosed. However, on the other hand it makes me feel kind of worthless. Like they no longer expect me to find someone because of this disease....as if I’m damaged now and no one would want me.
Also it seems like every decision I make I’m reminded of this disease. My mother, even though I know she means well and is only trying to help me....she constantly reminds me saying things like “well you need to think about how your ms is going to affect you before you do this or make that decision,” or “what are you going to do when your father and I are gone? Who is going to be there to help and take care of you?” I understand that I need to think about these things. It’s just that at 35, it’s not something I want on my mind everyday. I’m still fully functional even though I know something could happen any day. Even if I don’t think of it, my mom is right there to remind me. Always asking what am I going to do? Well I guess I’d go into an assisted living facility or something.
It’s just little things like these which make me feel different. Like I’m not treated equally because I have a disease. I feel like I can’t live a normal life without constant reminders that I am different. It’s just yet another reason why I don’t tell people I have MS. The less they know the better.
So I was just curious if you guys got treated any differently by people who know your diagnosis?
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