"The Closet" (and shame)

[headrift]

Like I've been trying to say in the chat, Ant1981... some of it is how we see ourselves differently now that we've had to accept MS and its place in our lives. There's always an aspect of how we see ourselves in how we think other see us.

There's probably psychology there somewhere. Maybe metaphysics. Anyway, that's how I think things are. *shrug*

[headrift]

You might be onto something, pennstater. I've never seen any, but I haven't spent much time in the upper echelons of management, or even supervisory level, and I'm sure there's discrimination everywhere. I don't like it to the point of walking away if I think I need to. That and I try to avoid situations where the rules or lack or unapplied.

The woman who was fired after she disclosed hopefully sued.

[mathgirl24]

I'm still in limbo but I haven't told many people what's going on. It's not that I'm ashamed but more that I don't want to tell anyone until I know what it is that is causing my problems. I've told only 3 people one of them being my boyfriend. I was most nervous about telling him because I thought that he might be too overwhelmed by that possibility. But it didn't seem to phase him and he just said that we would just have to adjust to my limitations. He has a few health issues himself so he understands more so than the general population.

I have not told anyone at work. I've tried to hide it in general there. I'm afraid of the same type of discrimination and I can't afford to lose my job right now.

[headrift]

Yeah, mathgirl24... I was mostly quiet until I got out of limbo. Some got the memo as time went on and things became more apparent. Not sure if a blanket-memo on a wide channel would have been a good move when it wasn't "real" yet.

[SNOOPY]

I have never dealt with shame with anything to do with MS, I really have no concept of feeling shame over something I have no control over having.

Even before my definitive diagnosis of this disease family, friends and neighbors knew something was wrong with me...it was really very obvious. I have never kept MS in the closet. However, the more years that go by the less I am inclined to explain just to satisfy a stranger or an acquaintance's curiosity. Those that know me well know about the MS.

Quite some years ago I went to a Company event that was held at an Amusement Park. The park was closed to the public for this event. It was quite by accident that my family ran into my son's best friend and his father. None of us were aware the other worked at the same company, even the boys.

The father had been around my home on numerous occasions and we had many general conversations, but MS never came up. At the Amusement Park I was using my cane. He asked me a few times how I am doing and if everything was okay? I said yes. I was aware that he kept looking at my cane and his questions were because of that cane. If he would have directly asked me what happened or why I was using a cane I would have explained. I am aware he may not have wanted to be intrusive or rude but if someone doesn't want to be direct then I don't feel the need to explain.

Strangers or those that don't know me very well will form their own opinions and I simply don't care.

I have a Solve The Mystery, Cure Multiple Sclerosis magnet on the inside of my front door. When my front door is closed anyone in my home can see it.

[headrift]

Right on, SNOOPY. Right on. *nod nod*

Really, that sounds nice and balanced. Make 'em ask.

[dyin_myelin]

There used to be a slacker pin that said, "on the cellular level, I'm actually quite busy." I always think of that pin, but with "stupid" replacing the word busy because my own body doesn't recognize my brain tissue.

[msgijo]

... "on the cellular level, I'm actually quite busy." ...

Love it! Will use this from now on.

... I always think of that pin, but with "stupid" replacing the word busy because my own body doesn't recognize my brain tissue.

Don't say that! We are NOT stupid. If anything we are extremely smart - we not only know (realize) the way things 'should' be but we also know (recognize) that things aren't that way AND we even know why they aren't.