HOW TO EXPLAIN

[mercadies25]

my daughter asked me to "hang out" with her 12 year old twins Saturday because she and her dh had to work the same 10 hour shift and didn't want them alone that long. I said sure. Mind you they CAN do for themselves. Just need some adult super vision.

2hours into it: I'm bored, I want to do something, I'm hungry. I say well go play games, watch t.v., movies whatever in the house.

Long story short I didn't hang out. I curled hair, made cupcakes, played games etc.....

There was no laying on the couch. I tried to explain I'm tired and need a nap. They know I have MS, but you look fine grandma and I'm bored.

I will not be volunteering again any time soon.

[tinglytoes]

That's so hard. I ALWAYS overextend myself to the point that I am out of a commission and NOT taking care of myself. That's just silly!!

I agree, we need to be a bit more firm when it comes to taking care of our own selves. My 12 year old knows full well that sometimes I can and sometimes I can't. I am thankful for very empathetic little people!

Hopefully you can hang out with them again soon but in a setting that requires you to do a lot less!

[Mamabug]

I can understand not wishing to leave 12 year olds home alone all day. I began to leave my kids for short times when they were 10, but I don't remember how old they were before I would've left them alone all day.

However, they are getting closer to the age when they could, actually, be babysitting. Even if you are around for supervision, you don't need to be "babysitting" and entertaining kids that age, especially when they have each other.

Like tinglytoes said, I also hope that you can hang out with them again soon. But, next time, you need to explain what the limits will be, first to your daughter when she asks for your assistance, and also to the twins at the outset.

[msgijo]

I have a 5 yo granddaughter that loves to spend time with me. One day she was bugging my daughter to bring her out so that she could spend some time with me (maybe overnight?), but I wasn't feeling all that great - really tired and 'spacey'. When my daughter told baby that grandma was sick today she said that baby looked at her like she was crazy and told her that "Grandma is ALWAYS sick so why cant I go today?"

Baby is always good with me - even better than she is with my mother who keeps her when my daughter works. I don't know why that is - I don't remember ever saying anything to her about MS or how it affects me. That is not not say that other people around her haven't but still ... When she comes out we play with the cat, put together puzzles, play with dolls or play board or computer games. When I need a time out she watches TV, or plays quietly by herself. But if I am doing anything she is as helpful as she can be.
I think that I have set the rules that I will NOT entertain her, but maybe not in so many words. Just a "No I am not going to do that, I am going to do this. You may do that if you wish but I am not".

BUT my other two grands aren't as good with me. They sound more like the twins, and as a result I don't keep them. They are welcome to visit as long as there is another adult here to take up the slack, but I know that it would be a disaster for me to attempt to keep them by myself. I have (once) kept all three of them at the same time, but I paid dearly for that.
It is sad, and I imagine that they think that I don't love them as much, but the fact is simply that I cant keep up with them.

I really don't know why baby is good with me and the other two aren't. Maybe the difference is that my daughter knows a bit more about MS, and has talked to baby about it. Maybe she has explained to baby that grandma cant do some things. Or maybe it is because baby has never known me any other way (and since I am the 'keeper of the cat' she is extra good so that she can visit the cat ).

[Thinkimjob]

Think you did pretty well, all things considered.

[rdmc]

I'm not a grandmother (yet), at least not until March

However I have watched my nieces and nephews kids many times over the years.

My arsenal for babysitting consists of an iPad and pay-per-view movies on Amazon, Netflix, or
the Cable provider. We eat popcorn and snacks and watch movies, sometimes play online games, sometimes board games, and everybody's happy.