Outbursts of anger and frustration.

[marti]

I've been having some almost uncontrollable bouts of anger later. I get so mad I tense up and then end up with headaches and body aches. We've been taking care of our neighbor's dog while they are on vacation. She is very much untrained, except for potty. She does ok in that area. Today she followed me into my bedroom and got up on the bed. I yelled at her to get down and of course she wouldn't so I grabbed her by the legs and I jerked her off, threw her into the dresser. It didn't hurt her one bit, but I was trying to hurt her. She doesn't have a collar so I couldn't grab her any other way. This dog has imprinted on me and follows me everywhere. Sometimes I actually hate her. I think I'm just sick of having her disrupt our pets and their way of life. My poor cat is terrified. The dog is young... kind of a puppy, but pretty big. Anyway, is this burst of anger anything to do with MS or any of my other problems? I've read this somewhere, but can't remember. And of course, I hurt myself worse when I get this angry.

Does anyone understand this? Can MS be causing these outbursts? I find myself getting less and less patient with my husband and his illnesses. I don't want to even talk to him. Can't stand the sound of his voice sometimes. I just want to be left alone... no responsibilities... no one to take care of... no phones... just be a hermit.

Thanks for listening. I realize there's probably not much anyone can say to help me. I just want to know if this is common in MS.

[pennstater]

I know they list emotional liability as a possibility for MS, which can be irratibility and anger. They don't know if from changes in brain or just dealing with chronic illness.

You should let your neuro know and if not already, seek counseling. You don't want to hurt yourself, your husband, or any other family members or guests, including the furry kind.

It sounds like you may be overwhelmed right now. Can you get someone to give you a break?

[thelegendlc]

Help needed

I do not have any formal psychological training but it sounds to me like you definitely need some counseling. Even before that, the first thing that needs to be done is get the poor dog to a different home when the owners are gone.

[marti]

I do not have any formal psychological training but it sounds to me like you definitely need some counseling. Even before that, the first thing that needs to be done is get the poor dog to a different home when the owners are gone.

Yes, I will never agree to do this again. This dog is behind me every step I take. She's not really a bad dog, just not trained. We have her kennel that I put her in when I just can't take it anymore. I really hate to cage her up, but she does not take commands at all and I just don't like her. I probably do need some counseling, but I hate to add one more specialist to my long list. Then I have to find a driver... another hurdle. And truthfully, I'm just not sold on psychological doctors.

[Jules A]

I do not have any formal psychological training but it sounds to me like you definitely need some counseling. Even before that, the first thing that needs to be done is get the poor dog to a different home when the owners are gone.

I agree 100%. Please remove the dog from your home even if that means paying to kennel her somewhere until her owners return. MS induced or not there is no way you can ignore what you did to her and your continued report of disliking her. Please do the right thing and get her out of your care now.

[marti]

I agree 100%. Please remove the dog from your home even if that means paying to kennel her somewhere until her owners return. MS induced or not there is no way you can ignore what you did to her and your continued report of disliking her. Please do the right thing and get her out of your care now.

Not to worry. They will be back tomorrow.

[dyin_myelin]

I'm sorry Marti that you are feeling this way. Could your husband take her off your hands a bit? I know he is sick too. You could relegate her to areas of the house using baby gates, I do that with my dog. I get angry post MS, it wells up inside of me and I clench my jaw. I remember my mother used to get angry and snap, so I never let on how I am feeling. I also get OCD type worst case outcomes flash into my head. As a result of these things I, too, hate myself and have become a doormat, virtually incapable of managing a classroom or standing up for myself, just to ensure nobody gets subjected to a tantrum. I've read some people with autism do this too.

It's worse when I have PMS, do you still get that or are you going through menopause? Taking chasteberry helps take the anger off of this time of the month. I was asked to pet sit post-DX. It was a huge mistake. I literally just tossed food in their bowls and then worked all day. I was frustrated at them and then would chastise myself for being so selfish. One of the cats had a tumor and was old, he died "on my watch" and even though I was not blamed/didn't do anything to hasten demise I had a meeting to go to, the dead cat was wrapped in paper in bathroom until I got back in the evening and put in a box outside.

I had pet sat for these people whom I love many times and always worked a full day and lavished affection and care on them all. This was in fact a situation that made me realize that things had changed for the worse and I had to take some things off my plate. People think that we have these souls and free will and I'm not saying that to ding anyone's convictions, it's just the truth of the matter is that your brain is just like your body or your computer. Fate gave it a few good kicks and now it doesn't work as well. It's not your fault. It may not be totally or partially fixable. Just take care of yourself as best you can. , DM

[KatW]

Marti,

I've had these issues too recently and I've found them to be linked to overstimulation. I have to have some down time and get plenty of sleep. One extra issue during my day can push me over the edge. So, I can sympathize, completely.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

[Jules A]

People think that we have these souls and free will and I'm not saying that to ding anyone's convictions, it's just the truth of the matter is that your brain is just like your body or your computer. Fate gave it a few good kicks and now it doesn't work as well. It's not your fault. It may not be totally or partially fixable. Just take care of yourself as best you can. , DM

I'm saddened that the gravity of this is minimized. It does not matter if it is her "fault" or not. The fact is this could be considered animal abuse which is a huge red flag and depending on the state could be a crime. I'm not saying we need to beat up on Marti and I appreciate her insight in hindsight that this is wrong but for the love of God cyber hugs and "its not your fault" aren't practical suggestions that will protect this helpless animal.

My guess is this dog actually likes her and is frightened because her family is gone which would explain her being underfoot constantly. I get this might be annoying and probably a falls risk for many of us but not being able to empathize with the dog's anxiety and distress is concerning.

I'd agree that seeking help in hopes of improving her frustration tolerance whether it is due to MS or not is important and it doesn't need to be a psychiatrist or psychologist. A decent therapist should be able to diagnose and offer coping skill strategies. FWIW they are usually kind and easy to talk to.

[marti]

I'm sorry Marti that you are feeling this way. Could your husband take her off your hands a bit? I know he is sick too. You could relegate her to areas of the house using baby gates, I do that with my dog. I get angry post MS, it wells up inside of me and I clench my jaw. I remember my mother used to get angry and snap, so I never let on how I am feeling. I also get OCD type worst case outcomes flash into my head. As a result of these things I, too, hate myself and have become a doormat, virtually incapable of managing a classroom or standing up for myself, just to ensure nobody gets subjected to a tantrum. I've read some people with autism do this too.

It's worse when I have PMS, do you still get that or are you going through menopause? Taking chasteberry helps take the anger off of this time of the month. I was asked to pet sit post-DX. It was a huge mistake. I literally just tossed food in their bowls and then worked all day. I was frustrated at them and then would chastise myself for being so selfish. One of the cats had a tumor and was old, he died "on my watch" and even though I was not blamed/didn't do anything to hasten demise I had a meeting to go to, the dead cat was wrapped in paper in bathroom until I got back in the evening and put in a box outside.

I had pet sat for these people whom I love many times and always worked a full day and lavished affection and care on them all. This was in fact a situation that made me realize that things had changed for the worse and I had to take some things off my plate. People think that we have these souls and free will and I'm not saying that to ding anyone's convictions, it's just the truth of the matter is that your brain is just like your body or your computer. Fate gave it a few good kicks and now it doesn't work as well. It's not your fault. It may not be totally or partially fixable. Just take care of yourself as best you can. , DM

I could kiss you. Thank you for your understanding. This is something new for me. I've always been the gentle one in the family. I think the problem with this particular dog is she is young and active. She absolutely LOVES me. Go figure. I just can't stand having her in my space all the time. Thank God for the kennel! Today should be the day she goes home. All the way.. next door. I just wish I knew what to do for this "symptom". I am very OCD. My mind never stops working ahead. That makes for insomnia. We can't win. Love you.

[marti]

Marti,

I've had these issues too recently and I've found them to be linked to overstimulation. I have to have some down time and get plenty of sleep. One extra issue during my day can push me over the edge. So, I can sympathize, completely.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

Thank you so much Kat. I'm afraid I scared some people here and some seem to be a little judgemental. But, I understand that. The dog is fine and happy. I tried to discipline her but she is hopeless. No training at all. And she is very young and energetic. It will be fine. She goes back today. Love you.

[marti]

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...1124093546.htm

An article on MS and anger. There are many. I talked with one of my MS doctors. This is the one who has MS. She told me she went thru the same thing, but with a cat. So I guess this is not so unusual. But it is painful, both emotionally and physically. Thanks all for listening.

[poppydarling]

Yes, I will never agree to do this again. This dog is behind me every step I take. She's not really a bad dog, just not trained. We have her kennel that I put her in when I just can't take it anymore. I really hate to cage her up, but she does not take commands at all and I just don't like her. I probably do need some counseling, but I hate to add one more specialist to my long list. Then I have to find a driver... another hurdle. And truthfully, I'm just not sold on psychological doctors.

Marti, I totally empathize. I've always had some issues with stress and a short temper, but I also think I have had MS for much of my life. Who knows what has been brewing in my brain and nervous system for all those years? That said, I think abusing any living being, even if you didn't mean it, is a warning sign that you need to seek out professional support ASAP.

Despite the hurdles, a counselor is really the best person to help you figure out next steps for a less stress filled life. I saw a licensed clinical social worker in my town on a sliding scale, and it helped me so much. I only have mini-meltdowns now and I have methods for coping with the illness and stressful events.

I understand all of the hurdles, but I think the effort to find this type of support for yourself would make a huge difference in your life. Wishing you well.