I want off! this is not the life
I want a do over. This is not what I wanted to be doing at this time in my life. When I turned 40 I wanted to be an empty-nester with free weekends instead of having to learn how to deal with MS. I wanted to be free to take my horse up to the Ouachita Mountains and ride for a couple of days at a time. I wanted to be teaching the subject I love. I wanted to be able to travel. Now, I'm depressed most of the time. I am lucky if I can saddle up and ride for a couple hours once a month. I substitute at a local school and I will be giving that up now.
I just want off this train wreck so I can have a normal life. I want to enjoy my grandson, not dread the energy it takes to care for him. He is a very well mannered polite child that is no trouble but I still use a lot of my energy reserves.
I don't want to have to save money up to have another mri when I'm still paying for the last one. I want to let my husband see how bad I really feel. I am tired of feeling like I am wearing a ball and chain and have to carry it through every thing I do.
I'm sorry but sometimes I have to vent or I will go crazy.
I want a do over. This is not what I wanted to be doing at this time in my life. When I turned 40 I wanted to be an empty-nester with free weekends instead of having to learn how to deal with MS. I wanted to be free to take my horse up to the Ouachita Mountains and ride for a couple of days at a time. I wanted to be teaching the subject I love. I wanted to be able to travel. Now, I'm depressed most of the time. I am lucky if I can saddle up and ride for a couple hours once a month. I substitute at a local school and I will be giving that up now.
I just want off this train wreck so I can have a normal life. I want to enjoy my grandson, not dread the energy it takes to care for him. He is a very well mannered polite child that is no trouble but I still use a lot of my energy reserves.
I don't want to have to save money up to have another mri when I'm still paying for the last one. I want to let my husband see how bad I really feel. I am tired of feeling like I am wearing a ball and chain and have to carry it through every thing I do.
I'm sorry but sometimes I have to vent or I will go crazy.
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