watching people walk

[tracibk]

As my legs continue to decline, I find myself watching people walk and try to remember what it was like to just be able to walk without thinking about it whenever I want. They are so lucky....just get up and go. I will be 40 next month and I watch older people walk and know that I will not be walking like them. I see them looking at me hobbling with my cane. While I am walking I am making sure my left foot gets off the ground...how far will I have to walk?........what time of the day it is that I will have to walk? and a hundred other things running through my head. I have young children and can't do things with them. Don't get me wrong....I am thankful that at this time I can walk at all because I know some can't, but obviously this is not what I thought 40 would be.

[Canary54]

I am 20 years older than you, and 60 isn't what I expected it to be either!! Now secondary progressive, I take several meds, constantly struggle with constipation and have to self-cath due to urinary retention..........but oh, to be able to walk again!!

I don't use a mobility aid yet, but can only walk about 50 yards before the electrical signals to my legs start misfiring and my walking becomes spastic at best. More than anything in the world, I wish I could walk effortlessly again. I have to use a wheelchair through the airport now, and I always think that I used to be one of those people race-walking to their departure gate, bypassing the moving walkways because they're too slow!

[Thinkimjob]

I can clearly remember the last time I was able to move freely. The car was rolling forward, I was a few yards away and I ran over, jumped in and put on the handbrake. That was seven years ago.

The very next day, I realised needed to think about where I was going to put my foot before I took a step.
It's slowly, slowly worsened.
All this planning - let alone actually moving - makes you so tired.

[mercadies25]

When I was working as a Deli/Bakery manager, I would walk so fast it was almost running. I would set the timer to bake bread, 3 minutes left, go to the bathroom and get back before the timer would go off. No problem!!! I would pull pallets full of product with no problem.

Last time I went on a cruise I just sat and watched people walk and walk. As I wait at Wal-Mart for my prescriptions I watch people walk and walk with no effort.

I will be 50 this year and this is definitely NOT they way I planned to be.

As an early mother's day gift my kids bought me a scooter. I am so appreciative on the out side and so sad on the inside.

What the hell did I do to deserve this? Just go away I don't want it anymore.

[toot2818]

walking

Boy, it would be wonderful to walk without my four wheel walker. I am so dependent on it now. I even use the wheelchair when we go out at night and I'm tired. My legs just don't work like they used to

I know exercise helps but. It is hard to watch others just bounce around. Would love to dance with my hubby. Just got to think positive.

Toot

[MSW1963]

I had a 'stooped posture and shuffled gait' for a few years and it was like I saw every elderly person with similar posture and walking problems for the first time. It was like they all came out in public places at the same time. It was very difficult to come to the realization that my ability to maintain my posture was that of an elderly person.

Also noticed discoloration on the front chest area of clothing that I imagine was the result of some type of functional loss controlling saliva, maybe problems with food. They were always tidy and clean, but it had me imagining the worse. Sad for them and sad for me.

[ru4cats]

So I can definitely relate to everyone's thoughts on this topic. I remember several years ago when I was till watching "Dancing with the Stars", I thought "Wow, how are they able to do that?" It was beyond my comprehension to understand the complexities of that whole "walking thing."

For three years after diagnosis, I was still able to walk my dogs with trekking poles and an HFAD. Then suddenly, one morning I woke up and wasn't able to walk them at all. It was something to do with the right knee, and to this day, I don't know what happened. Now I use two rollators and an electric scooter to get around, although I can walk short distances.

As a former runner, I believe Ducky, of NCIS, said it best, "Where I once kept pace with the hare, I am now envious of the tortoise."

[Waydwnsouth1]

I too watch people get up and walk away at free will without even having to think about it. I watch them walk at a fast rate od speed and I remember those days when I could do the same thing. I grow green with envy. I know it's not their fault but I am still envious.

But I guess that's just the price we pay like it or not.

[04blackcobra]

walking

I too often look at people or will see someone of TV who is climbing or running and say to myself" I so much wish I could do that"

[Poolwatcher]

Not only do I watch people walk, but I see pictures of legs when I look at clouds.

[REG53]

Although I have never seen legs in clouds, I do watch people walk and think " if only."

I can watch someone walking down a flight of stairs without using the hand rails and I feel unbalanced. Just weird.

My gait and balance are gradually getting worse and I already have drop foot. Not a pretty picture but I try to keep going as much as I can.

[poohb3ar]

oh to walk again!

it is so hard to watch others walk/run around the neighborhood. i guess it's why i avoid sitting in the living room with the big wall length window to the street. it gets depressing.

i am able right now to walk inside without a cane, though i've had to catch myself from falling a few times. i own a rollator and wc just in case.
since being dxd in 2002, i've used all three at various times for various lengths of time.

i taught preschool for 2 yrs from a wc! i'm stubborn and strong willed, wasn't giving up the career i love. after the 2nd school yr of teaching from a wc 'they' eventually won & i am now on SSDI because no one would hire me for anything in my line of career and education choice.

the night before i had my major relapse that lead to my dx, i was playing 'horse' basketball with my then preteen daughter. oh to run around and chase a ball, even to have the balance to stand on the driveway and throw the ball into the hoop would be wonderful!

but even though i'm sad over what isn't anymore, i thank God for canes, rollators and wheelchairs. just watch an old movie with someone in a wheelchair. look hard at how large and bulky it was and that most people couldn't move it themselves and rarely ever went outside the house.

i'm so grateful for the technology and social awareness now that give us handicap parking and wc ramps into businesses so we're no longer confined to home.

it's hard to look on the bright side, but we have to at times or the MonSter will gobble up all our hopes and dreams. though we can't walk or run or dance, there are many things we can still and should do!

take care & God bless all us mobility challenged people!

[Starzilla]

I thought it was just me!

Not sure I'm replying to post correctly. I wanted to reply to this because I cannot believe I am not alone with this. I watch people walk anytime I am out even on people on TV. Worse for me is when I see them not necessarily running but just hurrying from one place to the next. I walked fast seems like always. Now, I'd be happy with a stroll. I see on different MS sites, mags, etc. where people with MS are biking, running marathons, even just holding down a job and I am so jealous. I absolutely do not wish worse for them but I so wish I could do any of those things. I also read those that say they use to be in a wc or they use to need a cane and I think maybe there is hope for me but alas another year goes by and I've not improved but I'm so thankful I've not worsened either.

As my legs continue to decline, I find myself watching people walk and try to remember what it was like to just be able to walk without thinking about it whenever I want. They are so lucky....just get up and go. I will be 40 next month and I watch older people walk and know that I will not be walking like them. I see them looking at me hobbling with my cane. While I am walking I am making sure my left foot gets off the ground...how far will I have to walk?........what time of the day it is that I will have to walk? and a hundred other things running through my head. I have young children and can't do things with them. Don't get me wrong....I am thankful that at this time I can walk at all because I know some can't, but obviously this is not what I thought 40 would be.

[indulge]

It was so good to see this thread. I also watch people walk. I can manage sometimes without my treking poles, but also have to consider how far and what the terrain is like etc. and yes, that is tiring. I'm 67, I have been very lucky and I am grateful. The future has changed. I cannot bear to throw out all those smart heels, although I have had to wear flat laceups for a very long time. I agree positivity is the way to go, but we can still enjoy the sight of those who can run, dance or skip with abandon. I often want to tell them - enjoy!!!

[gwynnf]

I have what I've started to refer to as my "quarterly meltdown". It lasts a few days and I do my self-inflicted pity party. I often watch people walk and sometimes I even get mad. If people could read my mind sometimes, I'd be in trouble. I was dx in 1995 and until 3 years ago I was walking and working fulltime...2 jobs! A stressful divorce did me in. I use a wheelchair, walker, scooter or the wall. It all depends on how far I need to go. I've often wondered what running or even jumping up and down would feel like again. I raised 2 young boys who are now grown. I felt so lucky to be able to be somewhat mobile for them. I never missed a football, baseball or basketball game ever and they knew how much strength getting to those fields cost me. I don't regret any of it. My now ex-husband couldn't deal with my disease any longer and traded down as far as I'm concerned.

I am lucky to have found love again with a wonderful man who I really think would give me his legs if he could. My favorite was the time at a party everyone was dancing. He told me to wrap my arms around his neck and off I went twirling around the dance floor. I tear up even now thinking about that night.

I am now in the process of getting a Walkaid to help with drop foot and hopefully I will get some mobility back.

Never give up....I know that is SO hard to do. There is always hope.