Glad my mother is already in Heaven, because I wouldn't want her seeing me now

[Marie12]

I know she has her eye on me. She was the most wonderful mom. I had four brothers, and I thought that life was difficult. Well, I'm almost 58 now. And this MS stuff has made the no sister deal, miniscule.

I have tried about everything. And it's one of those deals now, that my neurologist wants to know why I've made a dr appt. Well, I don't know either, I guess I thought he'd know.

But, I guess I can't complain. I have a home and food, what more do I need. I used to be very smart, but now I have a MS brain. I didn't think that would happen to me, but it did.

I used to never complain, but I'm a new me

To be honest, I would deal with all this crap, if no one else would ever have to deal with it. I have a daughter who was born in 1994, I just hope she doesn't have to deal with this crap!

Chat later, when I have something worthwhile to say

[Thinkimjob]

No, Marie, what you are saying is worthwhile!

I have one grandparent left, and I am so pleased the other three passed away before they saw me in my current condition. Especially my dear, dear grandfather, who I loved more than anyone else in the world. I do still dream of him, looking out for me, from wherever you go when you die.

Grandma, the 93 year-old survivor, can cope, having lived through a World War in Holland, brother taken by the Gestapo etc. I love her, too. She is more or less blind, so what she can't see doesn't hurt her.

It is so hard to have a "smiley face" all, or even some, of the time.

Don't apologise for telling it as it is. And I am fairly good-humoured and positive, but I can't live the dream anymore.

[marti]

We never told my Mom about my condition either. She was old and fretted about everything. It would have served no purpose to tell her.

[KatieAgain]

Marie

Think got it right....your observation hit home for me. I am so sad that my parents have watched me go through this. And I only have one sibling and she passed away...I miss her so much.

I remain here for them. But once they are gone I am going to quickly join them so all of us can be together again.

[Waydwnsouth1]

Marie12, I hear I what you're saying. It would be harder on me for my Mom to have to watch suffer with horrible disease than it is for me to actually suffer with it. I was always the light of her life. I have two sisters and I am the oldest but I was her heart. I know it would absolutely kill her to see me in this condition.

She has one sister left and when I talk to her she always cries, so I know how my Mom would handle it. My Mom passed away from breast cancer thirteen and a half years ago, she was always brave and fought it very courageously and bravely. I try to mimic her when I am having a particularly bad day. She is where I draw my strength and courage from. I will admit there are days when I loose it but I can hear her voice whispering in my ear to be strong.

She knows what's going on but I am glad she is not here to live through it with me, no matter how much I miss her.

[poppydarling]

I will weigh in with a different perspective. I consider family (chosen as well as blood) relationships, even more so than marriages, to be bound by "for better or worse, in sickness and in health…" I would not be ashamed for anyone who truly loved me to see me in any condition that is no fault of my own! I would expect no less than complete compassion and support, and they could expect the same from me. As Robin Roberts says, "we all have something" and that reality should be part of everyone's awareness.