Feel like a ton of bricks is on top of me.

[J-Bo]

kittysmith, I know your emotional state is probably more important right now, but I couldn't help reacting to what you told us they're doing to you at work. I don't have a legal background, but them giving you a hard time about bathroom breaks seems kind of illegal.

And do they know about your MS and how that affects you? If they don't, maybe you could think about telling them. I know the choice to "out" oneself at work is a very individual decision, but I wound up doing it as a way to protect myself when it looked like there were people working against me.

I don't know if any of that is helpful, but I do hope that things get better for you.

[pennstater]

Kitty,

You in no way come off looking stupid. Please keep posting, you need a place to let your feelings out. If I upset you in anyway, I am sorry. Post your feelings, it is important. Just let us know when you need to let it out, need some empathy, but are not looking for anyone to provide solutions. You just need an ear. Then I would know to respond in kind, not suggesting anything, just sharing in your emotions.

Whatever you do, please keep posting. It is the one place where people understand.

[sam]

It sucks

I'm sorry to here your feeling so down, I know exactly how you feel when you want to just lay down & never get back up. I'm sending you my thoughts and prayers to feel better.

[msgijo]

This is never going to get any better. My emotions are out of control. I'm on so many meds it would make your head spin. Talked to my MS doc about fatigue. He says it's the "multiple sedating medications" I was on (I'm assuming he means my psych meds). I have to take meds for every frickin' thing. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of trying. I just don't want to be here anymore. I have no friends. My family refuses to understand me. Everything I say is misunderstood. I'm tired, physically and emitionally. I just don't want to fight it anymore. My family would be better off without me.

Hi kittysmith.

I hope you are feeling better today. No words of wisdom here, just thinking about you and wanted to let you know that I understand.

Last month I had asked my PCP for something for depression that was not a 'heavy -hitter' - just a little something, and and he picked out something for me. I did try to take it for over a week and the headaches were so bad that I could understand why 'suicidal thoughts' is listed as a side effect. So I quit taking it.

I went to visit with neuro this week, and he decided that my fatigue is caused by depression. He insisted that I take the anti depressant that my PCP had rx'ed for me last month.
I took one yesterday (trying to be a good patient). Woke up this morning with one of the worse headaches ever. It truly rivaled the migraines I had years ago. I took the bottle and threw it in a drawer that I have for meds I cannot / will not take.

I refuse to get back in the cycle i was in about 8 years ago - with doctors giving a med, then having to give me another one to counter the side effects, then another one for those side effects ...

Yeah today sounded like one of those days to crawl back in bed and pull the covers over my head - forever.


Kitty, I get it and I care, Hang in there.

[The Wonderer]

Snoopy, Research has shown that Anxiety disorders are linked with chemical issues in the brain. That is why the drugs used that affect the neurotransmitter sites work.

Yes, a negative mind set has been linked with anxiety/depression but it's the chicken or the egg problem, which comes first, which is causing what? Or is there a third thing that is causing both?

I agree that CBT and DBT are good therapies, and used for a variety of anxiety/phobia issues. But it not the answer for every case.

I really try to avoid medications as much as possible. I hope to get a diagnosis soon and will be faced with decisions regarding treatment. I will likely follow doctors recommendations. Persons with psychological issues really have to be careful.

Kittysmith, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I have no advice for you except that when life is overwhelming it is good to take a step back, rest and relax, unload some chores/responsibilities if possible. Nobody is irreplaceable.

[TinaP303]

Kittysmith
I just read this thread for the first time-
DON'T STOP POSTING HERE, we get it!! If you're "nuts", so are we. The things you wrote actually made me feel better (OK, that's almost perverse) because it made me realize that the stuff I'm feeling isn't as nuts as I thought. I could have written your post. You aren't as alone as you think, and even though we're about a bajillion miles apart, we're together in this.
Big Gigantic Hug
Keep writing-it helps us all
Tina

[SNOOPY]

Snoopy, Research has shown that Anxiety disorders are linked with chemical issues in the brain. That is why the drugs used that affect the neurotransmitter sites work.

It is possible for someone diagnosed with an anxiety disorder to, at some point, get off medications, with proper therapy.

I spent 10 years on a Benzodiazepine for the treatment of anxiety and panic attacks. I have been medication free for over a year.

If a person wants to improve their mental health it is doable, with a lot of hard work on their part. There are those who would rather live the way they have always lived and not work to change (I have family members like this ).

It's not entirely clear if the imbalance was due to poor coping strategies, or if the imbalances came first and lead to the experience of anxiety. Therapy – without any medicinal intervention – has been shown to improve chemical regulation, indicating that even though there may be a biological component, the mind can overcome them and improve the flow of neurotransmitters throughout the brain
http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/causes

[kittysmith]

If I want to improve?

It is possible for someone diagnosed with an anxiety disorder to, at some point, get off medications, with proper therapy.

I spent 10 years on a Benzodiazepine for the treatment of anxiety and panic attacks. I have been medication free for over a year.

If a person wants to improve their mental health it is doable, with a lot of hard work on their part. There are those who would rather live the way they have always lived and not work to change (I have family members like this ).

Your quotes make me feel like you are saying I'm just not trying hard enough. I have been through CBT and EMDR. I have given it my all. I have been having panic attacks since I was about 5 years old. I have lived my whole life feeling this way. If I could get better, I would. I have a chemical imbalance. I'm sorry for those who don't believe that. Every time I went off my meds I'd go backwards again. I was told by one therapist that it's similar to haveing diabetes. If you need your insulin to feel better, you take it. A lot of people want to put down those who are on meds. I, for one, would not be here today if it weren't for anti-depressants.

I don't know what else to say. I am trying my hardest. I am not worried about what meds I am taking. That was not the point of this post. I was just looking for some sympathy/empathy, not to be put down about what meds I've been on.

Guess I'll just have to live this way and keep trying to be a better person. I can do that on psych meds and MS meds.

Thank you to all who have shared your wisdom and understanding. I don't know where I go from here. I am doing the best I can. It seems that is never enough for some.

[kelm10]

Personal

kittysmith,

Good for you for exploring and trying to do things on top of the meds.

It is true. There is something biochemical going on in your body. Take the meds. It seems that you are confident in you healthcare provider. Then follow their lead and question things when you need to.

No, there are some people you can never please. That will never change. There concern is not your concern and I try my hardest to take what they say with a grain of salt. Not so easy to do.

[The Wonderer]

Anxiety and panic attacks are not based within a chemical imbalance. Anxiety and panic attacks are due to(negative) thoughts and (negative) feelings/fears.

:

I found your posting to be very informative and positive. I only had a quibble with the above quote.

Psychology is unable to prove causation due to the limitations of experimentation. They can only prove correlation which does not prove causation.

Like MS, Psychological issues (depression, panic attacks etc) are as individual as we are.

I am so happy for you that you got relief from your psych symptoms with a lot of hard work. But we mustn't make the mistake of assuming that all others have the same issues that can be corrected the same way.

I really enjoyed the links you provided, thank you very much.

[SNOOPY]

Your quotes make me feel like you are saying I'm just not trying hard enough.

The previous post I made was in response to
The Wonderer and not directed at you.

I was just looking for some sympathy/empathy, not to be put down about what meds I've been on.

I strongly believe in "better living through chemistry." If someone needs medication then that person should use medication.

My personal history is quite involved but I dealt with PTSD starting at the age of 2 1/2. So, I have literally had PTSD, anxiety/panic attacks and depression from a very early age.

Due to this and the very early age there are brain changes that do happen.

I once felt I would never be able to "live" without being on a Benzodiazepine even after my Psychiatrist said it was possible. I was pleasantly surprised when, in fact, I no longer needed the help of a Benzodiazepine.

My personal experience.