My Peeps... moving day is coming soon.

[marti]

Some of you might remember back several months when I first told you all we were trying to sell the farm and had bought a smaller house ( in town, UGH! ).

We are having an auction Saturday, Oct 25th and are going to try to auction off the house and property along with all the designated possessions. Needless to say I have been a total wreck and it is showing in my health.

The other house is ready for us, but I'm not ready for it. Every time I go to the new house, I hate it more. We've been in our home for 36 years and I hate to move. But, it's too big and has stairs that are becoming a problem.

Really worried about what we will do if this place does not sell. Can't leave it empty all winter. We do have one family member who might be interested in renting to own. So I guess we have one option. The ticking clock is scaring me now that it is getting so close to being over. I hadn't really thought about the day that we will be sitting here with only a few last pieces of furniture to sustain us until we actually move. We'll only have 2 twin beds, the kitchen table and chairs and the tv. Also a few odds and ends. It's been such a huge job.

The fatigue has been overwhelming. Every little thing I try to do wrings me out. I've been so sick with my gastritis, stress, anxiety etc.

Just asking you all to think of me ( us ) and give me any encouragement you can. I need to hear things over and over because I seem to lose those good thoughts. I know this move is necessary, but I keep forgetting that. In my 13 years with MS I have never been this sick or this aware of being sick. I wake up thinking of feeling pain and dizziness and I go to bed with it on my mind. Just can't shake this.

Sorry to unload on you all. But this group has been family to me for 13 years. Thanks for listening.

[Seasha]

Ahhh Marti - I will be thinking of you this coming weekend and hope that all goes well with the sale! I hope that in the near future you can put all this behind you so then you can focus your time and energy in to recuperating and regaining better health. You deserve a little R & R! Even an otherwise healthy person would feel the effects of a sale and a move. It is a huge undertaking!

Take care and let us know how it went

[nes]

Oh Marti, I'm so sorry for what you are going through on so many levels. The major shift in your life, losing a sense of your identity from your home of so many years, and now all the health problems that arise when a person has a chronic illness and is stressed out.

I am a caregiver to a young woman with MS. Although, she has had to endure all the hospitalizations and treatments, I have been responsible for her very intensive level of care and supervision at times. The good news is my advocacy has meant fantastic treatment and much of the disability she incurred during recent relapses went away with aggressive therapy. I'm just telling you this because the stress of caring, worrying, dealing with insurance, and going into financial hardship has caused tremendous stress. I feel I have to figure it all out while keeping her well and protected. The advice I can offer you is let yourself feel sad, angry, frustrated, whatever and know that it is ok.

A chaplain reminded me of this a while back and it was so reaffirming. Also, your life is in substantial upheaval right now. Try as best you can to look for the positive. Once you have resolution with the old house, what is nice about the new house? Smaller space to maintain? The ability to save more money? You might also explore the neighborhood if you haven't already. I've lived in some places I have hated, but met a great neighbor or found a nearby green space or coffee shop that brings me some joy.

Going through these transitions are tough. You are in limbo and your heart will probably be aching for the past and it is natural to question the future. It might seem corny, but I tried some free meditation sessions (guided, audio) on a site called headspace.com. I've using the breathing techniques to calm me down when I can feel myself getting all stressed out. I also try to incorporate a few things during the day to relax me and give me happiness. Brewing an amazing pot of tea and savoring it. Taking a walk in the nearby park (I'm in New England, USA, so the leaves are at their peak!).

Take care. We are here for you. You are not alone and I'm sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

[marti]

Oh Marti, I'm so sorry for what you are going through on so many levels. The major shift in your life, losing a sense of your identity from your home of so many years, and now all the health problems that arise when a person has a chronic illness and is stressed out.

I am a caregiver to a young woman with MS. Although, she has had to endure all the hospitalizations and treatments, I have been responsible for her very intensive level of care and supervision at times. The good news is my advocacy has meant fantastic treatment and much of the disability she incurred during recent relapses went away with aggressive therapy. I'm just telling you this because the stress of caring, worrying, dealing with insurance, and going into financial hardship has caused tremendous stress. I feel I have to figure it all out while keeping her well and protected. The advice I can offer you is let yourself feel sad, angry, frustrated, whatever and know that it is ok.

A chaplain reminded me of this a while back and it was so reaffirming. Also, your life is in substantial upheaval right now. Try as best you can to look for the positive. Once you have resolution with the old house, what is nice about the new house? Smaller space to maintain? The ability to save more money? You might also explore the neighborhood if you haven't already. I've lived in some places I have hated, but met a great neighbor or found a nearby green space or coffee shop that brings me some joy.

Going through these transitions are tough. You are in limbo and your heart will probably be aching for the past and it is natural to question the future. It might seem corny, but I tried some free meditation sessions (guided, audio) on a site called headspace.com. I've using the breathing techniques to calm me down when I can feel myself getting all stressed out. I also try to incorporate a few things during the day to relax me and give me happiness. Brewing an amazing pot of tea and savoring it. Taking a walk in the nearby park (I'm in New England, USA, so the leaves are at their peak!).

Take care. We are here for you. You are not alone and I'm sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

Thanks for the information. I signed up with Headspace but haven't had time yet to take advantage of it. Right now I am totally worn out... exhausted, in pain and feeling useless. My husband, who has some very serious health issues, is working himself to death with this sale. I went out and tried to sweep the barn for about 15 minutes and was wasted beyond words. I've never had to pace myself before. I did everything fast... moved fast and kept going. The last couple years I've seen such a downward decline.. it's amazing. I am walking on my own and fairly good, but the fatigue is killing me. And with fatigue comes pain. I have several autoimmune diseases to deal with. Maybe they need to find something to fight autoimmune first, MS after that.

[MSW1963]

marti, I hope in time the new house in town(!) comes to represent a new beginning, the next stage in life for you and hubby. With the bonus of smaller spaces to maintain and clean, conveniences of nearby markets, shops and parks, and new neighbors to meet, some who will become friends in no time. With the burden owning a farm must be for you both, you may even experience improvement in your MS and hubby's health as well.

I've moved twice with major MS sx. I remember standing in the kitchen looking at cabinets full of dishes to pack, but only being able to turn in circles looking from empty boxes to full cabinets, totally overwhelmed but unable to initiate what I knew in my mind had to be done, just unable to figure out how. Thankfully the people hired to do the heavy lifting stepped in when they realized how 'incapacitated' (code for cray-cray) I was.

I hope the burden of your move becomes easier as things wind down. I am very sorry you've found it necessary to leave your happy home on the farm.

[Thinkimjob]

Marti, I had a farm, too. All gone. Breaks your heart. Horses, chooks, ducks, sheep, the sun going down, the stars in the sky...
Anyway, my farm went two years ago. The sale had nought to do with my MS. It's like every 'death' of something or someone you love. You grieve.
And I loved that place. I think about it for even a moment and, well, you know.

It's all right to be sad.

The only way I can cope is to resolutely set my eyes forward. I look back, and I break.

It's a memory now, and I rarely let myself think about the past, and life's not too bad.
The %#¥€ with MS is sometimes you don't really have a choice, and speaking as a 44 year old, that is really hard.

[pennstater]

Good luck tomorrow Marti. I do hope you and your husband find some relief with your new home. While I am sure you will miss the farm, you can give thanks for the easier lifestyle of town. Try to keep focusing on the good aspects of your new house and with time, it will truly become home.