Traveled to Europe to be Insulted

[palmtree]

Let me guess, was this in France? The French are notorious for their rudeness to Americans and I've witnessed it myself.

As I said earlier, Europeans are more more aesthetically and fashion minded that we are in the US. But I am still shocked by this lack of enlightenment.

I would have responded with silence by banging my walking stick extra hard like the Kings do with their canes to express their power,

It would have been tempting to say, "yes, it is necessary to take care of people who ask questions like that"

[loopey]

Travel

So sorry for your discouragement. I'm planning a trip to several European countries and am concerned. What do you mean have an "MS card?" My main concern is with bathrooms and, of course, not knowing the language.

I have lived in Italy for 11 years and have traveled throughout Europe. Europe does not have a great amount of "handicapped" assistance; in some places yes, but others no. I use a cane and 90% of the time people will give me their seat on the tram or bus. Bathrooms can be difficult because they are usually very small and have no handle to hold on to.

The language shouldn't be a problem just an adventure. I hope you have a great trip!!!

[hhurst]

travelling

So sorry for your discouragement. I'm planning a trip to several European countries and am concerned. What do you mean have an "MS card?" My main concern is with bathrooms and, of course, not knowing the language.

[KatieAgain]

Thank-you to all who replied.

I am home now...but have returned to a very sick dog who was grieving my absence. I wish my family had alerted me...I would have been on the first flight out. He is refusing food and he was only 10 pounds to begin with. He has not eaten since last Thursday. We have a doctors appointment today. This has happened before and he had to be fed intravenously. I love my little ball of fluff and right now, he is my #1 priority.

But I would like to answer a few questions about my trip.

The tour guide is originally from the Former Yugoslavia. She fled during the War. She has been in the US long enough to know better.

She stated later her sisters husband has MS and it was hard for her to believe I had MS because her BIL is in a wheelchair...and he is about my age. I saw red once again. Instead of educating I just started humming the new Taylor Swift Song, "Shake It Off."

As far as the others go....well...for anyone that knows me, I never say Goodbye. I always say, "Until We Meet Again." I did not say that...instead I just smiled, hugged them and said, "Goodbye". I took the high road, but none of our paths will ever meet again. And if they do...I will not be as kind.

The trip was fine. I enjoyed my day alone and I really enjoyed The Vatican...the Pope was in-residence so that was cool. And I got a Tour of Pope Borgia's personal Quarters. Of course the food was great, but I am not use to eating like that and am feeling better back on my regular diet. Sure enjoyed my three glasses of wine...

To the Irish MSer above...I am 1/2 Irish and I have been to Ireland...beautiful Country. It was next on my list to return.

But I have made a decision not to leave the US anymore. I have not been to Alaska...so I think that will be my next trip. I'm not stopping my adventures...I would just feel more comfortable on my home turf. Which I find sort of funny because I spent over half my military career overseas. But I have so many wonderful memories, that they will have to suffice.

If any of you are considering a trip overseas, the one thing I would recommend is a MS Card. I actually ended using it in Customs and got fast forwarded. Additionally, I should have preordered customer assistance through the Airlines before the trip. No problems leaving the US...getting back in was a different story. Spent a hour in Passport Control, picked up my bag, rechecked it, and then had to go through Immigration. That's where I fell apart. There were at least 300 people in front of me! I just sat down right where I was...could not go another foot. That's when I got fast forwarded. TSA was WONDERFUL! They zoomed into me immediately and knew I was in distress and helped me. They could not have been nicer to me.

Bottomline: The trip was not a bust, but it was not the best memory either. But my adventures are not over. As long as the Tysabri is working as well as it is...I am going to keep pushing the limits...because I have been given another chance and I am not blowing it because I know it's not going to be like this forever. Alaska, whitewater, and Sedona Spas...sounds pretty good to me.

Thanks Again Everyone!

[aitch10]

Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry for what that ignorant cow said. But I'm so glad you're enjoying your holiday anyway. Yay food!

And regarding the stuff in the Czech Republic, I used to live there and am heartbroken to hear how they treat their disabled. When I lived there I was young and healthy so wouldn't have noticed. You'd think that 15 years in the EU would have led to some change though

[muppy1]

As my sweet Grammy used to say: " It only takes one poop to ruin a perfectly good diaper".

[KSeraSera]

I may not be the best person to respond to this because I am usually very caustic with people like your tour guide. My first thought was responding to her with "Do you need me to pay you for your services?". And I would never let them alter my life. I know that is easier said than done, but if you give up your vacations, or don't enjoy your friends, then you've let them do that. Don't let someone who has no sense control you like that. Then the bad feelings just grow and fester. If she has a supervisor, then let them know that sensitivity training for their employees may be in order, give her a bad review on social media, take steps to fight back.

MS takes so much control out of our lives, don't let the people who are insensitive or ignorant or uneducated have the rest. It sounds hokey, but I worked in mental health for years, and yes, no one can defeat you but yourself. Certainly not that bird brain. Be that good role model by showing your not running from who you are. As a matter of fact, I'd go the next day with a huge tassel and balloon tied to my cane and ask the tour guide "Too much?"

Good luck to you, you sound like a very nice person, be confident in that and forget the rest.

[bobus498]

Being the smart **** that I am, I would have said,


"Yes, and as an added bonus, it sure comes in handy to smack the crap out of people who ask stupid questions."

[sudired]

SO SORRY

Read your message with horror but as Dr. Phil says, "you can't fix stupid". My son lives in Rome, is a Tour Guide in the Vatican, and, of course, was horrified. I have had MS for 28 years and believe me, I've heard them all.

Don't give your power away to such fools.

Blessings,

SUE

[dyin_myelin]

Everyone else around this woman was probably embarrassed for her, or thought you were as tough as nails and it no doubt rolled off. I've only used a cane once and my boss asked if I needed it. I said no, I was only using it to pick up men. It's a dumb question that deserves some snark but I don't think it's borne out of malice. To echo others' sentiments you're completely awesome to travel all over Europe! I am too afraid to travel 40 minutes on a train (because SEPTA thinks lavatories are optional.) Enjoy your trip, I hope you write more when you get back where you went and what you enjoyed.

[palmtree]

I'm glad you are doing something so wonderful. I love Europe! The food is so good American food tastes like cardboard when I get home.

Europeans are sadly behind when it comes to providing for people with disabilities. They are very conscious of aesthetics and disability just doesn't fit the mold.

If your tour guide was from the US, she must be working for an American company. If I were you, when I get home, I would write a letter to the management of the company explaining what happened and how it made you feel. If you do not get a profuse apology with an assurance that the guides will be instructed to be sensitive to the needs of the disabled, sue them for violation of the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA).

[Guzzy]

I am embarrassed more than anything. We have had people on here talk about not wanting to use assistive devices. Now I know why. And I am humiliated.

I don't want to embarrass anyone else, so tomorrow I am going to tell everyone at breakfast that I am doing the rest of the week alone. I have been here before so I know my way around.

I have said it before and I will say it again...MS is a journey for one.

Oh Katie. Oh that must have really hurt. I think the others not speaking up for me would upset even more. It's a possibility they spoke to her later privately, sometimes people aren't good on the spot.

Don't feel humiliated. You are using your smarts to get around, to be part of life. Your tour guide showed her ignorance, and she should be feeling humiliated, not you.

I'm glad you had fun and ate the gelati, had a nice rest. I'd say that tour guide got the point. Don't take yourself off away from the group. We are part of society, no matter what shape we are in. Europe has VERY vigorous anti-discrimination legislation, the tour guide should be aware of that. I know coz I'm in Ireland, part of Europe, and work in a disability organisation.

MS is a journey for one. But don't exile yourself from the rest of your tour. You use a cane; you don't have an infectious illness.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday. I went to Rome 10 years ago for my honeymoon and it was mind-blowing. I'd go back in a flash if I won some money.
Good luck.

[Nicoly3467]

Dale-I liked your comment!

[Dale76]

I have read numerous posts about insensitive crap people say to MSers. My initial thought is blow it off...people are jerks. And honestly, I have never been insulted by anyone except my ex-husband. So I guess I really did not understand until today...and I am so sad and feel so defeated. And I need to calm my butt down or I am going to flare.

A bunch of us hired a professional tour guide from the States who came with us. First vacation since 2008. I have spent the last three days on my feet for at least 6 hours each day...non-stop. And we are having an unexpected heat wave. I drank the first glass of wine I have had in 15 years last night!

I have lasted better than most of the other gals in spite of my MS. Everyone knows I have MS and there is a younger gal on the trip who has had MS for a couple of years, so I am trying to be a role model.

The tour guide points to my Walking Stick today and says, "Do you really need that?" I looked at her completely flabbergasted. I swear she was ashamed of me. My gut told me to knock her #%+ out! With the adrenaline pumping through me, she was not going to need to go to The Vatican to see Angels.

Well, luckily my head and not my gut prevailed. I just told her yes I do or I would have been lying on the ground within the first 30 minutes. What really kills me is no one else said anything. No one...

I am embarrassed more than anything. We have had people on here talk about not wanting to use assistive devices. Now I know why. And I am humiliated.

I don't want to embarrass anyone else, so tomorrow I am going to tell everyone at breakfast that I am doing the rest of the week alone. I have been here before so I know my way around.

I have said it before and I will say it again...MS is a journey for one.

Sorry for the rant...I just want to go home back to Katieville where it is safe. No more vacations for me.

That's when you calmly reply: No I really don't need it but it sure comes in handy when someone asks me a stupid question!

Anyways there are plenty of jerks around the world and they don't require a good reason to act like a jerk, that is just who THEY are and nothing to do with you. Please forget this person and hold your head high, they are the one who should be ashamed not you!

[MSW1963]

KatieAgain, there is no 'can you top this' insult compition, and I know you know that. I'm just sorry that after all you've been through in the past year?+, that your European vacation was marked by an insensitive comment, one that resulted in you altering your itiniary. But then again some solitude can be healing.

I hope you rejoin your group of friends and enjoy the remainder of your vaca adventure.