I can't even escape this monster in my dreams

[choco]

I used to dream in such a way where I was "normal" in my dreams. Now when I dream I am struggling with the MS in my dreams just as I do when I'm awake. As a result I wake up absolutely exhausted from my dream struggles.

The other day I had a dream that I was on the beach and in my dream I was realising that I would never again walk on the sand or indeed swim in the sea. I won't even begin to describe how I felt.

It seems there is no escaping this diabolical monster. Anyone else with this issue?

Dreams aside, my biggest challenge other than dealing with the physical difficulties brought on by MS is not giving in to the mental anguish and defeat. It is literally a constant uphill battle staying positive when you realise your life is another version of groundhogs day and is all but over. But my tolerance for negativity is zilch and I am constantly applying that to myself with daily reminders of how fortunate I am that I have what I have and don't have what I don't have. When the pity party is threatening to rear its ugly head, I get annoyed with myself for being so shallow, in fact an ex boyfriend once told me he knew puddles deeper than me - and that was before the MS had it's wicked way! lol

[Mamabug]

Choco --

You sound sad.

I encourage you to "dream" when you are awake. Many of the dreams you may have had when you were younger may now be out of reach. So, create new dreams.

They can be small dreams:

If you are no longer working, find ways to get out of the house and be around other people. Are you physically well enough to volunteer in some areas that don't require you to push yourself to try to do more than you are able, or more than is comfortable?

RSVP (Retired Senior Volunteer Program) exists in many communities, and no longer caters to just senior volunteers in my community. They may be able to find a match for you to volunteer.

Do you have a church home? Communities have more and more options for churches these days. Traditional churches (lots of denominations, as always), less traditional churches. Large, small. Churches that meet in coffee bars. Lots of possibilities.

Or, go to a local library, book store or park on a regular basis, and just sit there and read and people-watch.

Coffee bars often have free concerts of starting-up or part-time musicians, especially in the summer.

If you have a friend, invite someone to go along. But, I often go to those kinds of things alone. My husband isn't interested, and it's easier to go alone, for me, than to try to decide who to call and make the effort to invite. I still have fun, and it becomes my me-time.

Or, audit a class that interests you at a local community college.

Or .... ________________ .

Fill in the blank.

~ Faith

[Tawanda]

I have never cried about my M.S. (not even at diagnosis) in my waking state. I have been angry as heck, but never in tears EXCEPT in my dreams. My husband will hear me whimper and sometimes there is a tear in the corner of my eye...I will say I don't remember what I was dreaming, but I do. In some way, shape or form it was the MonSter, or rather my fear of it. You can't stuff your feelings all day and not have them leak out somehow, somewhere I guess...

[kelm10]

ditto

Choco --

You sound sad.

I encourage you to "dream" when you are awake. Many of the dreams you may have had when you were younger may now be out of reach. So, create new dreams.

They can be small dreams:

If you are no longer working, find ways to get out of the house and be around other people. Are you physically well enough to volunteer in some areas that don't require you to push yourself to try to do more than you are able, or more than is comfortable?

RSVP (Retired Senior Volunteer Program) exists in many communities, and no longer caters to just senior volunteers in my community. They may be able to find a match for you to volunteer.

Do you have a church home? Communities have more and more options for churches these days. Traditional churches (lots of denominations, as always), less traditional churches. Large, small. Churches that meet in coffee bars. Lots of possibilities.

Or, go to a local library, book store or park on a regular basis, and just sit there and read and people-watch.

Coffee bars often have free concerts of starting-up or part-time musicians, especially in the summer.

If you have a friend, invite someone to go along. But, I often go to those kinds of things alone. My husband isn't interested, and it's easier to go alone, for me, than to try to decide who to call and make the effort to invite. I still have fun, and it becomes my me-time.

Or, audit a class that interests you at a local community college.

Or .... ________________ .

Fill in the blank.

~ Faith

Faith, all excellent ideas.

I would like to add, if you can not get out. Go to positive areas here, like the creative center. Search other websites about what interests you and/or is positive. Maybe you will find something as a new interests. Genology. Call your local librarian for help and ideas for things to read or research. Tell them that you are not able to leave your house.

[Mamabug]

...

I would like to add, if you can not get out. Go to positive areas here, like the creative center. Search other websites about what interests you and/or is positive. Maybe you will find something as a new interests. Genology. Call your local librarian for help and ideas for things to read or research. Tell them that you are not able to leave your house.

Also an excellent idea. Thanks, Mary!

~ Faith