To work or not to work, that is the question...

[DebbieB]

Job, I vote (and have voted before) for you quitting your job and freelancing. You are such a talented writer, that I have no doubt you'll not only be successful, but much happier.

I work full time. To do so, however, I have a "reasonable accommodation" that allows me to work 3 out of the 5 days from my home. It's a federal position in DC, and I live in Baltimore - which is a 2 hour commute each way (door-to-door) by train/shuttle on the 2 days I do go in. Despite the blessing of being able to telecommute 3 days out of the week, the 2 days that I do go in take everything out of me. I get up at 4:30 and usually home by 8...

I enjoy my work (grants management), but it has become much more difficult to maintain over the past few years. I'm constantly taking leave when I don't feel well and/or just can't get through the day. Haven't taken a "vacation" for years, all my vacation time, as well as sick time goes to MS days and/or doc appts.

Work is all I do - almost literally. I often nap after getting off on days I work from home and nap on the train to and from the office on days I commute. I am generally too fatigued to go anywhere on the weekends. This past Saturday, for example, I spent the entire day in bed.

My friends have gone to way side...no energy to do anything to work. Thankfully, my children are now young adults (although the buggers still live with me) and [theoretically] able to take care of themselves.

I'm single (divorced years ago), so I gotta keep doing what I'm doing until I can't do it anymore.

[Seasha]

Hi Think! You have asked some good questions and everyone has their story to tell. I am one of those who loved my job, and was a go-getter for 30 years. So much so, that I would crash and burn and really never got the balancing act just right.

In the last few years of my work history, so many people suggested that I go on disability (neuro and pcp were at the top of the list), but NO - I was going to fight thru till the end - at least till regular retirement time came around.

Well, the day that I realized I simply.could.not.go.on as I had before was a bittersweet moment.

Bitter = defeated, deflated, humbled by my own self judgements and imagined judgements from others, imagined loss of self worth.

Sweet = relaxed to finally get off the crazy merry-go-round that I subjected myself to; realization that life didn't end with my job; opened to other possibilities and dreams of getting back to hobbies that I never thought I'd have time for; opportunities to volunteer in various ways; less stress and more relaxation; starting an exercise program!

Guess the sweet outweighed the bitter. I quit work and got on SSDI and never looked back (well, not quite true but you get the picture)

We have shared our stories for you, but I really think you'll know when the time is right for you. Only you can decide what's right for you and you will know it deep down.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

[maxi]

To work or not to work

I am fortunate in that I work for my husband but it is definitely not easy (although people might think it is). It is stressful as he is a health care professional and I deal with patients and insurance issues which in today's world is not easy or smooth.
However, I do love working and fortunately I can work part time. I love having the interaction with people and would miss it when we retire which might be fairly soon. The office is small so I can get around. It is not easy fitting in the time to do everything else like shopping, cooking, errands, etc. but as long as I can, I will continue.
Thanks for posting this though provoking question. Regards to all.

[thisis354]

Great post

I am struggling with this issue myself AGAIN. I am killing myself, working full time. I don't have family/friends and I am my only resource, so when I go down financially, that's it.

My life is work, sleep every spare second, blow off errands to save energy for work, get up and do it again. No quality of life, it's grim.

It's how I am keeping a roof over my head. I have less than 0 energy and cannot sustain this anymore BUT, I am looking at living in poverty if I have to go on disability. I and just 3 months back to work after finally having to go on medical leave for 3 months- it turned out that I had a relapse and didn't know it because I am always dragging myself through a day, so I always feel like crap.

I think it comes down to what other things exist in your life, are you in a situation where you have the choice, are you missing out on time with your friends and family, etc? That can make the decision easier - if you can work part time and fit it in with your energy level, that might be a solution.

I gave up on trying to figure out what to do but it's back to the point where I am going to collapse, entirely, so now I get to think about it again.

It's never an easy decision, no matter what your circumstances are, but if you have the chance to consider quality of life- choose quality of life and work the employment in with that. Best of luck with your decision!

-Christine