Need to share.... too much on my mind

[Tracelyn]

On Thursday I found out that a long time family friend, unexpectedly passed way from either a stroke or heart attack. He has been around in my life for over 40 years.
That kind of threw me for a loop, needless to say.

Then today, a dear friend of mine passed away this morning. I will forever miss her. Her smile could light up a room.

On top of that I have a colonoscopy tomorrow morning. I typically would not worry about medical tests ,except that my father was diagnosed with colon cancer when he was not much older than I am now.

Right now I am in a very somber/worried frame of mind. My DH is not really in tune with my feelings nor able to understand my worries.

I want to go to sleep and not wake up until the test is over. I pray they find absolutely nothing to worry about tomorrow morning.

Thanks for reading/listening to me.. .I am just feeling very overwhelmed.

[misslux]

I am sorry to hear of the recent passings and troubles.

[1936siols]

Colonoscopy

You need to stay calm. If it should turn out that you have a sign of colon cancer they will remove it during the colonoscopy. they would then keep a check on it. To many nof us worry to soon. They can do much more for us then in the past. I was told I had stages 1 and 2. They removed the polops during the colonscopy. I do not have to have it checked again for a year. It can be a scarry thing. I have heart problems kidney problems, no voice qnd a few minor things. Maybe I should have been scared but to me it was another thing so I didn't get excited about it.

[MSW1963]

I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your friends. I recently learned that a very good friend passed away too. My friend passed about a year ago, but we have been out of touch and I've had my differences with my friend's family, so reading news came as a huge shock. But it's always shocking news to get.

Greving the loss of 2 friends and staring down your colonoscopy tomorrow, you have a heavy burden today. Wishing you the very best of luck tomorrow and let us know how the test goes.

[Temagami]

Try focussing on controlling your breath- slow, deep, count with 100% focus on breath.

[Tracelyn]

Thank you for your kind words.

I know that me worrying about my colonoscopy tomorrow is pretty silly. There is just that fear that they will discover something while they are there. The positive thing is that if they do discover anything that I am ahead of the game, because many do not get get discovered until there are symptoms.

As for the death of my friends, Marie lived a very full life. She was 84 years old, and I never thought in my life that I would count someone 40 years older than me as a friend. She was such a vibrant beautiful lady. I enjoyed our luncheons and gatherings we had together with our Red Hat Society Chapter. I still remember the look on her face after we took to her to see "Magic Mike" because she wanted to see the movie.

David was a long time family friend. My parents and him and his wife became friends over 40 years ago, and I remember growing up being at their house and playing with their kids. David's wife passed away 7 years ago due to pancreatic cancer and he is now reunited with his love.

I worry about my parents and how they are handling the loss of a life long friend, but my siblings and myself will be keeping a close eye on them.