What should I do?

[lstrl]

A friend of mine asked me a few weeks ago if I wanted to take a road trip with her back to the town we both grew up in. It's 600 miles away, and as much as we'd have to stop (for her to stretch her legs and me to pee every 5 minutes), it would probably be close to a 12 hour drive. She initially planned it to be a week long trip, but now texted me today saying 7-10 days. We would both be driving, but it would be in her car because I won't let anyone drive my car. We would both be going our separate ways after arriving (I'd be staying with my best friend who I haven't seen in a while), so that means I would not have a car to drive, and my best friend was recently in a car wreck and can't do very much right now.

I'm really torn about this. Time isn't an issue because I'm not working, but that means I'd be leaving my two cats at home all that time without anyone around. My family here could check in on them, but a couple years ago when I had to stay with my parents after having surgery, my cats went nuts being alone and started tearing up things they don't normally mess with. My friend would pay for all the gas since she has to make the trip anyway (and knows I'm not working), but then I'd still have to pay to eat out at least on the two days we're driving, but possibly more during the week, I'm not really sure.

I've also just started getting into a routine of working out (which I really need right now because of my lower body weakness), and I don't want to mess that up. I'm scared if I take a week off (plus all the eating out), it'll totally mess everything up with me trying to get healthier. My gym does have a location there, but without a car, it would be difficult to get there (I wouldn't feel right asking my friend to borrow her car or for her to take me), and renting a car is not an option due to the cost. I've also been dealing with a lot of fatigue lately, to the point where I get lethargic and can barely function. Being in a car 12 hours won't exactly help with that, and when my friend expects me to do some of the driving, I worry that I'll get too tired, with no option of taking a nap on our driving days. I also have a huge fear of making a drive like that with someone when I don't know how they drive (I got stuck in a car for 3 1/2 hours with a terrible driver and had to keep my eyes closed because I was scared to death before).

On the other hand, it would be nice to see a few people I haven't seen in a while. It's been almost 2 years since I last went. I would also escape what looks to be another severe weather event here during the middle of this week (we'd leave on Monday and it's supposed to hit Tuesday-Thursday, I believe). After our tornado outbreak last weekend, I don't know how I can deal with another event so soon. I'm honestly really torn about this and I have no idea what I should do. What would others do if placed in this situation?

[katgrant63]

Afraid to travel

Wow. You sound really scared. I understand all your fears, but are you sure it's not excuses. I mean, yeah, it's scary to travel with health issues. We're all a little scared sometimes.

First of all, if money really is that tight then the bottom line is that you just can't afford it. On the other hand, if food is the only expense, borrow a little ice chest and pack what you would normally have eaten at home. Just plan meals you can eat on the go like fresh fruit and veggies, tuna or chicken salad, which if you're going healthy these days should be right in line.

Second: It's your best friend. Just ask her ahead of time if you can borrow her car to go to the gym while you're there.
As long as she's insured she probably won't mind and you'd only be gone what and hour and half or so. As for being afraid to ride with another driver, is it a valid fear or a control issue? If you have good reason to be afraid with this driver (have you ridden with them before?) then stop right there and don't go. Otherwise, relax and enjoy the ride. Take naps while the other person drives. Do explain ahead of time, though, that you may not be able to drive certain lengths of time. Full disclosure.

Fatigue and frequent potty trips: Are you taking any meds for either of these? If so, call your doctor and see if it's safe to raise the dose a bit until the symptoms ease up.

The issue of your cats being home alone and tearing up your place: Maybe you know someone who can take them while your gone. Indoor cats are quite adaptable as long as they know where their box is and are comfortable with the people they stay with. If you're out of work boarding probably isn't an option.

Was that everything? Look, this disease sucks. It can be painful and limiting and depressing. Don't let it control you. Don't let it be what you are. Don't be afraid to get out there and have some fun. Say to yourself, "I can do whatever the hell I want. I just have to have a good plan."

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck. Oh yeah, one more thing. Think about incorporating some meditation/relaxation techniques into your health and fitness routine. It'll help you through these darn storms we're having, as well as the MS BS.

Take care,
Kat

[MSer102]

When I'm in a situation where I can't come up with enough good reasons to do something and I'm debating what I should do it means that there aren't enough good reasons to do it so I don't. If I'm so not sure about something that I have to ask someone else what I should do it means I shouldn't do it so I don't. Works for me.

[Temagami]

Hire a neighbor to check and hang out with the cats. The daily company will make a major difference.
Substitute walking for working out.
Pack healthy snacks so youŽre not tempted to eat junk.
Sleep when your friend is driving so youŽll be fresh- bring a neck pillow.

The time spent with your best friend will be the best medicine ever- why would you pass that up?

[naphappy]

Torn

I tried to reply once and it disappeared. I hope I can recreate my thoughts.

My first reaction would be to encourage you to try the trip. But it is obvious that you have many objections that make you anxious about that decision.

Maybe you could find somewhere that can "cat sit" so your house won't be in shambles when you return. Or maybe someone could stay at your place to help your cats feel a sense of nomalcy.

As far as the trip goes: My family and I drove from Ohio to the West Coast and back last summer. I was concerned and anxious about making such a trip.

We sat down and talked about how things would go and it worked out. They, of course, know that I need to rest, can't drive too long, need to stay cool, and need to get out often.
They were great.

And because we didn't stay on the big highways and turnpikes for all of the trip, we discovered all kinds of interesting places and people.

Maybe you could have a frank talk with your friend about your concerns and iron out some of the issues.

Good Luck

[cosake]

My first impression is that you are trying to talk yourself out of going on the trip because you listed all of the negatives first.

It is a tough decision to make, but you have to weigh it out - will getting away from home and visiting your best friend after so long be worth the travel and worries about the cats ? I think if you have the opportunity to relax and enjoy yourself you should do it.

The other suggestions about snacks, the cats, etc. are great ones.

Perhaps you could ask your friend to pick you up and go for coffee to discuss the trip. Then you will get a "test drive" for her driving skills, and you can each talk about your expectations and clarify anything.

Good luck with your decision.

[lstrl]

Thanks for all the advice. After talking to my mom as well, I have decided that I am going. Since I've been out of work for so long, she thinks getting away and spending time with my best friend (who happens to be off so I won't be hanging out by myself all day) will be good for me, especially since I'll be escaping what looks like another severe weather outbreak. My friend has been trying to get into a workout routine as well, so she said we should work out together all week long. I think that'll be good for both of us. It'll get her started and keep me on track, which I have to do because I can tell I've gotten stronger and I don't want to mess that up.

My mom will be checking in on my cats either every day or every other day, so hopefully that'll be enough to keep them sane. When they destroyed my stuff before, I was gone for 3 weeks and only saw them once a week when changing the litter box. I'll also be putting my most vulnerable stuff behind closed doors so they can't break anything.

I think this is going to be a good thing. I have been pretty lonely sitting at home not working, so it'll be nice to get away from that. I'll also get to see some people I haven't seen in a couple years.

[cosake]

I'm so glad to hear that you are going and it sounds like everything is going to work out great.

Have a wonderful time. I'm sure that you will be so happy that you did this.

[maitrimama]

Good for you! I am glad you decided to go and I hope your trip is a roaring success, or at the very least time to catch up with your friend. For a number of reasons I have pulled away from people and it doesn't take long to become pretty darn isolated. Good friends are priceless and I thank my lucky stars for mine and wish I could see them more often. Have a cup of tea and bunch of giggles for me. - M

[naphappy]

Glad that you decided on trying the trip. It could be good for all of you.

I am sure your friend is really looking forward to spending time with you.

Hopefully, your cats behave. Our pets are like our children and can act just like them!

Let us know how it goes!

[laurasari]

Have a safe trip and enjoy